The anti-Rahat conspiracy: Pakistan’s persecution mania
Pakistanis seem to suffer from persecution mania. We have a tendency of believing in conspiracy theories rather than facts. As a nation we try to find ways to justify our wrongdoings by making us and others believe that we were trapped in such a way that we were destined to do wrong. The way most people reacted to the arrest and detention of Rahat Fateh Ali Khan at the Delhi Airport on Sunday for carrying undeclared foreign currency in violation of Indian laws is just another example of how, as a nation, we put on tinted glasses while looking at ...
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Sugar crisis: Fed up of food politics
Had we punished the hoarders of basic food items in 2008 and 2009, we wouldn’t have to face the current crisis. Surprisingly, our ‘suo moto judiciary’ did not take notice of it. No one can deny that the current sugar shortage is self-created and that RAW, XE, CIA or Musharraf have nothing to with it. This drama is an epic mismanagement by the policy makers we have elected to operate the public relief departments of this county. We should all know the reasons behind this crisis because we are paying exactly the double of what was available only a few ...
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‘The Zionists did it’ and other conspiracy theories
I’ve heard more conspiracy theories these past couple of weeks than I would like to care for. It seems that the Zionists, Freemasons and Indian spy agency RAW have been collaborating on a series of coordinated strikes on me and my small yet suspiciously detrimental-to-the-future-of-the-world social circle. Conspiracy 1: Did you know that there were four Blackwater (now called Xe but we still like the old name because it sounds more evil) agents on board the doomed Air Blue flight? Presumably they were forcing the pilot to crash into the nearby Kahuta nuclear base but the heroic pilot crashed into the mountains ...
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Conspiracy 101: So what really happened?
Conspiracy theories are the latest addition to the national diet of Pakistan. Nowadays everything has a conspiracy and if you don’t believe it you are part of the cover-up. I have often wondered where all the theories come from. There was a time when people claimed to have heard the original ‘truth’ from some mysterious source in the government or some rogue intelligence agent. But they are called theories for a reason. A theory is based on assumptions which have not been tested. And these opinion leaders are making theirs up as they go along. Funnily, most theories are pure speculation and have no real credibility while ...
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All Kayani’s men: Who is the real enemy?
Pakistan was born in horrendous bloodshed between Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims; and within two months of its birth, fighting had broken out with India over the fate of the Muslim-majority state of Kashmir. This fighting has continued on and off ever since. Two out of Pakistan’s three wars with India have been fought over Kashmir, as have several smaller campaigns. These include the bitter, 25-year-long struggle for the Siachen Glacier (possibly the most strategically pointless fight in the entire history of human conflict) initiated by India in 1984. The vast majority of Pakistani soldiers have served in Kashmir at ...
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A brief tale of Pakistani hospitality
I got to see a total of six foreigners on my week-long trip to Lahore. I don’t know whether that is a good average for July, but it seemed low. Five of the individuals I caught a mere glimpse of at the Wahga border. I was in a line with one hundred men jostling for position to enter the gate for ensuing border festivities; they were in a Mercedes with tinted windows pulled down momentarily to take in the ‘local flavor’ before proceeding inside with their protocol. The sixth was a young woman, perhaps twenty five whom I ran into ...
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