Stories about marriage

Working women and the fear of not being the ‘perfect’ housewife

It is not easy for a working woman to strike a balance between work and other duties in life, but it’s not impossible. Women are striving to join the workforce in Pakistan and are reaching new heights, however, the expectations of their partners and in-laws discourage them from pursuing a career post-marriage. Every woman has her own experience of creating a work-life balance and what works for one person may not work for the other. Therefore, I decided to share some tips that have helped me manage my work along with my personal life, post-marriage. Start your career before you get married Your job comes ...

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My life is rich and full, even without marriage

Tiny love story, “And what do you do?” so many have asked. “I tell stories,” the girl said. One by one they’ve walked away, not understanding the language she speaks. Until one day… “I tell stories,” said she. “Then you are brave,” said he, “and you should keep telling them. I want to hear them all.” The end. Like a conjurer, I have dozens of stories like this up my sleeve. They come to me at inopportune moments, waking me up at three in the morning or badgering me in the middle of a work meeting. Stories need telling, need escape, as do the characters within them, ...

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The day he took my love away

She never expected her marriage to come to an end. No woman ever does. She distinctly remembers the day she was betrothed and how excited she was. Her mother kept telling her not to smile for she had to make it look like she was genuinely sad about leaving her father’s home, but secretly she was over the moon. He was perfect; good looking, professionally accomplished, lived abroad and came from a good family background, and to top it off, he loved her wholeheartedly. What a beautiful union it was. Everyone was smiling and everything was going to be completely perfect. And yet, here she was ...

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‘No groom for you’ – The dilemma of an Indian gay man

Most concerned Indian parents worry about their child’s happiness and would like to see her/him live a happy and fulfilled life, and being married is traditionally considered part of that equation of fulfilment. The search begins to find the correct partner, by word of mouth and other avenues. One method includes placing a newspaper matrimonial advertisement in a local or national newspaper to draw upon the eyes of many potential suitors and their families for marriage. Once the ad is placed, the phones begin to ring and emails are exchanged, all leading to a potential match. Everybody is happy! Yay! However, for one such ...

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“Stop encouraging the idea of education within these children”

I recently got into an argument over class, status and ranks – the superficial boundaries that divide our society. And the greatest regret coming from it was the fact that even the most educated minds are still so deeply woven into these concepts that it provokes the irrationale amidst me. I grew up with four kids who did not belong to my class; they were children of my ‘maid’ who I lovingly call my second mom. When I was growing up, the word ‘maid’ and ‘nokar’ was prohibited in my household. She was known as ‘Baji’, who helped us around ...

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Is ‘Adultery’ the way to save a marriage, Paulo Coelho?

I first came across this novel when my roommate was reading it. Just the title, Adultery, caught my attention and intrigued me enough to ask him if I could borrow it. This was when another roommate, and student of psychology, told me the psychological content in this novel. This further elevated my enthusiasm to start reading this book by Paulo Coelho. To know what this book is about, the synopsis on the cover will give you an interesting gist: “A woman in her 30s begins to question the routine and predictability of her days. In everybody’s eyes, she has a perfect life: happy marriage, ...

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Why people should NOT get married in Pakistan

Before you wrinkle your eyebrows in a ‘holier-than-thou’ frown and judge my very existence, let me assure you that this blog is not a preaching of what you should or should not do. This blog is based on mere observations of human relationships and a concept that defines our lives in so many ways – shaadi (marriage). I was familiar with this word at a very young age. But it was at the age of six when my brother (eight-years-old then) told me something that freaked me out. In sheer exasperation, that only an older brother can have, he said, “I can’t ...

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You’re not the marriageable kind

An image of Akbar, her ex-fiancé, flashed into her mind as she elegantly sat waiting in her small, dark living room. A lonely candle flickered unenthusiastically on a wooden table by the window and the scent of the earth before the rain perforated the room. “Had I not come into your life, you would’ve destroyed yourself!” Akbar would say to her sternly. This memory of him haunted her. Choti (small), as she was affectionately known as, laughed a lot, travelled, was ambitious, made friends easily – perhaps had too much personality, if there is such a thing. Unfortunately, this approachability was routinely and falsely ...

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Stop making marriage a monster, it is not all about ‘compromise’

Marriage is an alliance of affection, companionship and an absolute sharing of heart and soul. But sporadically, we disregard why people take this step, commit their lives and vow their lives to each other. In our part of the world, we believe getting married is an antidote – a complete cure package for numerous issues. Therefore, many people get hitched because of extreme social and familial pressures, fear of getting old, monotonous routines and irritating inquiries of relatives and acquaintances who keep asking, “So when you are getting married?” In some cases, people choose matrimony because they believe in absurd myths – such as ...

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A grand wedding or a happy marriage, what’s more important?

I have strongly felt that as members of an educated community, we must show a sense of responsibility and bring about a change to dismantle some of the weird and complicated constructed norms that bring about no good, but instead intensify wrong trends in our society. One such trend is weddings becoming a status symbol.

Which would you prefer?

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Weddings in Pakistan are a waste of money and resources. What made me write about Pakistani weddings is the sense of waste, the lack of depth regarding serious and more important concerns in marriages, and the useless traditions we have been following since ages. I feel ...

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