Image is nothing: Pakistan as Andre Agassi
Even before he had won anything of note, tennis player Andre Agassi became a celebrity thanks to his “Image is Everything” ads for Cannon, which capitalised on his ridiculous blonde locks and cut-off denim shorts. Although he would go on to reveal that the hair was augmented by a toupee and win a bunch of majors on his way to becoming a truly legendary player, Agassi admitted in his searing autobiography” Open” that he was never comfortable with his rockstar status, unearned that it was. The lesson is clear: image is a self-created ...
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No one wants to tour Pakistan
As someone who has watched Pakistan play cricket on numerous occasions overseas, as well as in Karachi, I can tell you the experience is enormously different at home. Overseas, the seats are comfortable, the stadiums in pristine condition, the crowds well-behaved, the food non-threatening and no eyesore security grill to separate the playing area from the spectators. At home, the seats will put your rear to sleep, the biryani is spicy enough to make you wish you brought antacid with you, and the frighteningly energetic crowd is so loud that you can’t speak to the person next to you without the aid ...
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Hair today, gone tomorrow
Spotting a strand of white in a head full of black hair is fairly easy and insignificant, but if you are over 30, it can be very traumatic. Combine this with the hair-fall situation and the ever-increasing “naked-eye” visibility of your scalp and hello, Paranoia. Depending on: (a) how rich (or poor) you are (b) how bad the present situation really is, or (c) your organic/herbal orientation (straight or otherwise), one of the following will be your next course of action: Pretend everything is okay and do nothing; after all, you still have a lot more hair compared to cousin Salman (and I really mean a lot). Try ...
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Demi Moore and our fear of ageing
Demi Moore’s recent divorce from her younger husband, Ashton Kutcher, and subsequent trip to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction have been documented all too well in the tabloids. We read the headlines, and exclaim our shock and horror at Moore’s “pathetic” behavior. Unable to keep her much younger man, losing the battle with Mother Nature, guilty for beginning to show her true age, Moore reportedly turned to substance abuse to keep her fledgling self-confidence afloat. We can balk as much as we want at Demi Moore’s troubles, but how long can they distract us from our own insecurities? With the deluge of bad press ...
Read Full PostYour fake face forward
How often have you walked passed a store window, flipped through the pages of a magazine or fashion catalogue and thought to yourself: “Why can’t I look like that model?” While the fashion industry’s role in promoting unrealistic body images of women and girls is nothing new, and appears to only worsen every year, mega fashion brand H&M, the second largest retailer in the world, has taken things to an entirely new level by using images of models so perfect that they apparently do not even exist – literally. That’s right. The models themselves do not exist. That is because last year, H&M ...
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Don’t be yourself, be pretty instead
One cannot change what society considers beautiful. Neither can one berate it for being attracted to certain physical features, say a fair complexion. We can, however, change ourselves. If there is something about one’s body that nettles him or her consistently, why not change it? It is inarguable that in an ideal world, inner beauty is more important than physical beauty. However, it should be realised that these two are not inversely related. A good-looking person is not ipso facto a black-hearted, Sauron-esque villain. There’s nothing wrong with being beautiful both inside and out, which is why I bluntly say: Don’t be yourself, ...
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Shoaib Akhtar: An embarrassment par excellence
Shoaib Akhtar’s autobiography is generating something of a stir, and perhaps it should. Personally, I haven’t read it yet, only the bits and pieces available across my beloved WWW. However, if these excerpts are anything to go by, I must congratulate Mr Akhtar on his glorious achievement. Bravo world’s fastest bowler! Akhtar has proven beyond a doubt that the image he created, and then tried to deny throughout his career, was indeed true. And I’m not even talking about his off-the-field antics. After all, like any poor kid who stumbles onto a bundle of money, he was bound to make stupid ...
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Fresh Off the Boat: Why shouldn’t I like curry?
Brown:the colour I was assigned once in Canada. Never in a million years had I imagined that I would be considered a colour just like the black, yellow, white, peach and pink people around me. If we get deep down into it though, just to set the facts straight, I am not brown. I am a darker variation of ochre. No, I did not come here on a boat nor do I ride camels as a means of transportation in Pakistan unless it’s a family outing at Sea View beach, where camel rides are forms of entertainment. Yet, they insist on ...
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Pakistan: Where life can be a blast
The ‘enlightened moderation’ mantra from the Musharraf era prompted Pakistan’s oft-quoted ‘soft image.’ Seen as a much-needed leap beyond archetypal vistas of K-2 and the Lahore Fort (think 1970s photographs issued by PIA and the Ministry of Tourism), well-meant consultants were hired for the purpose of promoting a progressive image for the country—or at least, that’s what the aim was in flying out designers and models to put on fashion shows at Pakistani Consulates around the world. One can almost imagine spectators gawking: “Gosh, they have women in their country who don’t wear a burka and aren’t getting stoned for ...
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For us to dig deeper
Recently while in the US I had an unusual exchange with someone. I was in a meeting with a financial analyst, Eric, and in the middle of a conversation about tax returns and the IRS he paused and said: “So, the kids in Pakistan are like the kids here, right?” I was taken aback. I didn’t quite know what to make of his comment/question. I asked him to elaborate. He hesitated and said: “I mean kids are kids everywhere, right?” I told him that the Pakistani youth came in all shapes, sizes, political affiliations and bad musical tastes. He mulled that over ...
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