Stories about families

Moving out of a joint family isn’t as easy as it sounds

The desire to hold the rein is one thing, to actually command it is another. At most social gatherings, we often find women complaining about how miserable their lives are and how their in-laws who live with them keep putting hurdles in their way. They usually sum up their tale of woe by saying, “Apni marzi se banda mar bhi nahi sakta hai” (You can’t even die at your own will) What they don’t realise is that the much desired independence from the in-laws leads to a massive increase in responsibilities. My wife and I were enamoured with the idea of moving out to a house arranged to our ...

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Are the days of joint families over?

A family unit in its traditional form consists of grandparents, all their children, their children’s wives and their grandchildren all living harmoniously under one roof. If carried out properly, it can serve as a very warm, welcoming and homely environment which encourages cooperation, understanding, love and patience.  The joint family system has been depicted in several dramas and movies, and at a certain point in my life, I was a huge supporter of it. However, I no longer think a joint family system serves a useful purpose and actually lacks the warmth and affability that it once possessed. Don’t get me wrong! I am not ...

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Weddings in Pakistan: Down with the dowry, enough with the spending!

An often ignored reality that has plagued Pakistani society is that getting married is a financial nightmare. Marriage in our country is an occasion for insane displays of spending on outrageously lavish valimas, mehndi banquets, jewellery, give-aways, dowry and similar acts. What is interesting and downright appalling is that all classes of society are guilty of this madness. Our upper-class uses the occasion to show how wealthy they are. The middle-class, as always torn between the echelons of society, tries its best to spend as much as it can and register itself within the upper-class so as to feel accomplished. The poor take out the money ...

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Meet the families of the kids who died in the Gujrat van tragedy

“Olaad ka ghum bardaasht nae hota” (It is impossible to bear the pain of losing your children) I have heard my father say this quite often. However, since I don’t have any children of my own, I never understood the intensity of emotions behind this statement until I visited the families of the children who lost their lives in the Gujrat tragedy. A fire that broke out in a private school van took the lives of at least 14 innocent children and a teacher. My class had been instructed to visit these families by the director of our institute. On our way ...

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Abbas Town blasts: Will we wipe our tears, keep silent and carry on?

It’s 1:20am on March 4, 2013. As I write this, at least 40 or so families are feeling a searing, soul-wrenching pain, which most of us can’t even imagine and some of us can perhaps relate to. I am trying to imagine what they are going through. I don’t want to live it, but I want to somehow feel something other than anger. When they have a moment of stillness, family members are probably painstakingly recreating and reliving the last moments of their loved ones. When you lose someone you love, you think of how their last few minutes were. Was it ...

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Help! Am I still in love with my ex?

Hi, It has been four months since my ex-fiance and I broke up but I can’t get over her. We had a good relationship and to be honest, the break-up was more from her side than mine. Anyway, it’s been over four months now and I have had no contact with the girl, though I miss her dearly from time to time. There are things that remind me of her. At times, I wonder what she is doing, what she must be thinking, whether she is missing me too. I understand this is normal, and that time is the best healer. There ...

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Forgotten in Japan: Thousands of Pakistanis that no one is reporting about

The newscaster’s voice was audible even before I entered the house after attending my morning classes. “Earthquake in Japan” “Magnitude of 8.9 on the Richter scale” “Waves wash away the infrastructure of Sendai” “Tsunami warning issued to other nations in the Pacific basin” As I ran inside, the images and videos on TV showed one of the biggest calamities to hit the earth. However for me, unlike most Pakistanis, the news wasn’t easy to forget. It took a while to sink in. My father was there. “Is he safe?” I grabbed the remote and switched the channel over to BBC and saw footage of the destruction of one of ...

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Paying Shah Rukh Khan to upstage the bride

Let’s face it. Asian weddings aren’t particularly known for being understated. But the news that some wealthy Indian families are now paying Bollywood stars to pretend to be relatives and appear at their weddings as guests, takes over-the-top to a whole new level. The sort of level that is so absurd, it beggars all laugh-out-loud belief. According to an article published earlier this week in the Guardian, socialite families are paying anything from £7,000 to £70,000 (Rs952,438  to Rs9.5million) for Bollywood actors and actresses to mingle with wedding guests, make idle chit chat and have photos taken with the newly-weds while ...

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Graduation dilemma: This seat is taken

Among the enlightened elite of our great nation are parents who believe in educating their daughters. They spend several thousands, millions even, to ensure that their daughters have quality education from the best universities within their means. Yes, parents like these do exist, among the many who only look forward to the dubious pleasure in marrying their daughters off. Imagine, for example, one of Pakistan’s best universities. Graduation, especially with accolades, would add to any resume, attracting many good opportunities. But you are mistaken if you think I am talking about job opportunities. Somehow, somewhere, someone changed the rules of the ...

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Boys want to have fun too

What comes to your mind when you think of Karachi? The magnificent sea , ever-glowing lights , loadshedding, paan gutka and for me – gender discrimination. Yup. life is so not fair for the unfair sex in the capital of Sindh. I would have never noticed such discrimination had I been living in Karachi with my family. It was only when I came back to the city to pursue higher studies that I perceived the stark discrimination. The practice here is that all the trendy hang outs, parks, recreational spots are restricted to families only. As harsh as it seems this would still ...

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