I would rather be the 99%
When my husband and I moved to the US, we knew that it wasn’t for good. Contrary to everybody’s assumptions, we knew that we were going to return to Pakistan, at some point in the meandering, distant future. But we never imagined that it would be now, so suddenly, so unexpectedly, and under such sad circumstances. As I sit here in the study of my in-laws’ house in Lahore this sunny April afternoon, looking out on a sumptuous garden decked with purple petunias, crimson lilies, snow-white roses and bright bougainvillea, listening to the chipper of birds and the low chatter of servants in ...
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Sights and sounds at the Karachi Literature Festival
Foreign correspondents like conjuring the “books, not bombs” angle to justify the expense of flying down to Karachi to hear a bunch of people talk about politics and their books (in that order). But at this year’s Karachi Literature Festival there were bombs everywhere. Pervez Hoodbhoy led a discussion on bombs of the nuclear kind, Ayesha Siddiqa lobbed a few verbal bombs in Anatol Lieven’s direction for not nursing sufficient hatred for the Pakistan Army while Mohammed Hanif even dropped the deadliest bomb of all: the F-bomb. I began my annual pilgrimage to the Karachi Literature Festival by making a mental ...
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Jaipur Literature Festival: Prisoner of a palace
An outsider who has never been part of the Jaipur Literature Festival wonders what goes on for four days in the Diggi Palace, a 16th century palace owned by one of the descendants of some nondescript feudal lords. The day starts with four different sessions on varied issues running parallel in four different venues, aptly named Mughal Durbar, Mughal Tent and so on. Before lunch, three such sessions are held and writers interact with moderator and audience. The same continues after the elaborate rich Rajasthani lunch and it ends at 6.30 pm. Then, the music session starts and soon after, the bar and ...
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We’re here, we’re queer, deal with it!
In 2003, Brazil brought the case for homosexual rights on the United Nations table, only to be derailed at the last minute by Muslim and African countries. Instead, amendments were introduced and approved for the removal of any reference to discrimination based on sexual orientation. My country, Pakistan, was the captain of Team Homophobe. It distributed a memo to the member states declaring that the approval of the recommendation would be: “A direct insult to 1.2 billion Muslims around the world.” This year, thanks to three abstentions, China being absent, Libya’s suspension and the efforts of South Africa to table the resolution again, it was ...
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30 rules for survival in Pakistan
The mammoth difference between the lifestyles, and opportunities, provided to the so called elite, and the average man living a hand-to-mouth life, in our country, is nothing new to us. If you wish to survive in this country, you have to climb on the bandwagon. And the following instruction will tell you exactly how to do that. Please follow them very carefully. In case anything goes wrong or you are left morally impaired or religiously handicapped, just die. 1. If you are already filthy, and ridiculously rich, go directly to instruction number nine. 2. If you do not think you can ever be ...
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Newsweek Pakistan: Shaking Pakistan with lipstick?
Newsweek Pakistan has outdone itself with its list of the 100 Women who shake Pakistan. I must concede, never has such an extraordinary list been created. Some of the women listed here have “shaken” Pakistan on such a grand scale that it’s a wonder they haven’t had a street named after them yet. The most commendable of the lot, also well known to all Pakistanis as our very own Estee Lauder is Mehrbano Sethi, who introduced Luscious Cosmetics in a country where makeup was largely unavailable. Let’s give her a round of applause, since her contribution to Pakistani womanhood is unparalleled. Incredibly, Sethi ...
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A coffee date with bored, rich people
So, I am vacationing in Karachi after a nightmare of a semester. A newlywed school friend called me up to ask if I’ll join in for a little coffee-table chatter at one of the dear little coffee-shops, with a bunch of dear little female acquaintances. The thought of a social detour which involves mingling with rich married girls my own age practically paralysed me. I protested, but the married friend seemed to have acquired newfound levels of determination. As I began to pity her husband, she arrived at my doorstep to bundle me in her car and whisk me off. An ...
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Police force: Where are they in times of need?
They stand tall and sharp in their starch white uniforms, guns ready in hand, next to the fluorescent orange cones dividing us and them. “Of course, the president must be in town,” I thought as I glared at the ever-ready police officers. It’s funny to see these police officers and rangers come out of nowhere every time the president or prime minister is in town. Not only are they out on the streets, they look clean, vigilant and pose to be doing their jobs well. Clearly, the government has the resources to protect the common man, yet the only time you ...
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Getting my hands dirty in Islamabad
Freak weather and climate change, have made for some beautiful Sundays in Islamabad. Yesterday was one of them. So, a friend and I decided to make the best of it by hitting one of the picturesque trails – the perfect antidote to the bureaucratic air that otherwise prevails the environs of the capital. The atmosphere was quite festive. What a blessing it is to walk in the woods, I had thought to myself. The tribulations of the week were shaken off almost magically as we trudged along the trail taking in the scenery. Nature’s palette was especially vibrant that day. Bronze and gold ...
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Help! Our police needs help
There he stands; his black uniform stretched across a protruding belly, he has a certain fondness for chai and ‘pieces of paper with pictures of the Quaid’. This is the image that comes to mind when one thinks of a Pakistani policeman. In the pre-Musharraf era, crime was a major problem. Mustering the political will to clean up the police force was hard because the political elite found it useful to make alliances with certain police departments. Two important things have changed since then. Firstly, another threat has emerged, the militant threat, which attacks not only the common man but ...
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