An open letter to Maya Khan
It started with this video. Dear Maya Khan, My name is Mehreen. I like browsing through morning talk shows when I’m waiting for breakfast made by my mom who, like your colleague said in a particular clip, is like my friend and I confide in her often. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I do. She’s never demanded an oath of eternal confidence in her. We’re humans, and we love our private space. You might be thinking, “Why is she telling me this?” I thought I should let you know about the knitty gritty of my personal life since you do enjoy delving ...
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My quest to find Mr Right online
For the last couple of years my mother has been asking me the same questions: “Have you met someone?” “When will you start looking?” “Are you getting older each day or younger? (Umer ja rahe hai k aa rahe hai?)” The worst is when she tells me that if I don’t find someone for myself, she will do it for me. An image of Mr Kohli from Bride and Prejudice pops into my head after this declaration (shudder). You might think that I am talking about the biggest issue in Pakistan. But no, this is not about Memogate or about Zardari. This issue is ...
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You ain’t no princess
In wake of the ceremonious lambasting of the Y-chromosome, I believe I have a right to mount a defence. Now that Pandora’s box has officially been opened and the first stone has been cast in the battle of the sexes, dare I put my own two cents in? In the past, I’ve often defended women in our present social milieu to the point where I fight to keep my own men’s club card from being revoked. I’ll lay my cards on the table and admit up front that I’m a feminist. I can sense eyebrows being raised at the concept ...
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You are so not Prince Charming
The more I interact with men, the more I realize how loathsome they are. They usually have just one thing on their minds when talking to a woman – no – make that always, and it doesn’t require a lot of imagination to think what it is. Why, I ask is that? I understand that it might have a little to do with biology and chemistry and some other sciences but it gets boring, mundane and repetitive. Even if a man has the power to hold my attention for more than a few hours with his intellect and humor, by the end ...
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Women, no matter how smart and intelligent they are professionally, are horrendously stupid and myopic where men are concerned. They can be very assertive with everyone, but place them opposite their lover and they start stuttering (it’s happened more than once with me). They are bosses at work, running their own business or office and yet will let a loser run their lives for them. Why? Why do they make monkeys of themselves repeatedly in their intimate relationships with men? The sheer stupidity displayed by otherwise sensible women in the presence of a man whom they love is baffling. Is it the way we are ...
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Help! I can’t get over my ex
Dear Miss Informed, I am a 20-year-old girl and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get over my ex-boyfriend. We dated for three months but he lived in another city for about 70 per cent of our relationship. Initially, things between us were delightful, as all new relationships are, but slowly he started to cut me off. Then, he dumped me. It has been six months since this happened; I have mourned, grieved, been called a fool for falling for him so hard after just a few months and heard many bitter things from my friends. But I ...
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Ten signs your girlfriend is crazy
The crazy woman is one of nature’s most devastating forces. Most guys spend their time rationalising the behaviour of the crazy woman they are dating because they just assume “she’s difficult” or ”opinionated” or has an “adorable tendency to be a raging cow.” Crazy women are never, ever crazy to begin with. They are also almost always hot. In my vast experience, I observed both the behaviour of crazy women and listened to the advice of normal women. Here are ten surefire signs to spot and avoid a crazy woman. In isolation, any one of these points may be harmless or insignificant. But ...
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Cafe policy: Does sexism change after 7pm?
Ever walked into a restaurant with ‘the boys’ only to be turned away at the door? If it were any other country, this would be regarded as blatant discrimination with the media having a “field day” for weeks and the owners getting sued. But here in Pakistan this is not the case, hence many prominent restaurants implement the “family only” policy after 7pm. If this policy was really just for “family only” in all instances, it would still make sense. But this policy is just there to prevent single men or a group of single men being at the restaurant. ...
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Are you a player?
Men who remain commitment-phobic for too long and have a relatively high success rate with women often continue bachelor lifestyles (whether married or not!) into their middle and even twilight years. With the right amount of energy, money, and zest for life, today’s desi‘champions can become the Hugh Hefners of tomorrow. If you think you are destined to stay forever ‘young’ while dressed in a brocade robe, answer the following questions and see where you rate on the playboy scale: 1) Exes from your younger days are now the mothers of: A Babies B Teenagers C Grown men and women 2) Your pick-up line on women ...
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Love in a time of rishta aunties
I am strongly resisting the temptation to make sweeping statements, but as a general rule I find nowhere else in the world is individuality and free thinking penalised as it is in the land of the pure. From school when the teacher frowned at your blatant use of ‘imagination’, to the fear inducing lessons with maulvi sahib, to adulthood when society already has your course of life charted out and heaven’s forbid if you should dare to deviate. Yes, I cannot think of a society that has a more perverted notion of life; fervently abiding to religious practise whilst ignoring the ...
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