IPL: A story of continuing insults for Pakistan
This is not the first time that politics has intruded the Pakistan-India cricket scene. In fact, this is the fifth time that Pakistan has been snubbed by the Indian Premier League. As the diplomatic war between the rivals wages on, the Pakistani players are excluded. Unfortunately, the Pakistani authorities remain cooperative and apologetic; they don’t feel the insult, but instead keep going back for more rejection. First IPL: Pakistani players knocked the tournament and Sohail Tanvir was the leading wicket taker. But when Shoaib Akhtar complained fabout not receiving the contracted amount, he became the bad boy. Second IPL: India accused Pakistan of involvement in ...
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Spare me the Zionist conspiracies
“The parts are Jewish!” screams Barry, an ill-tempered white convert to Islam, played to perfection by Nigel Lindsay in the critically acclaimed film, Four Lions. The car has broken down and rather than admit to his friends that he hasn’t had it fixed, he claims, “Jews invented spark plugs to control global traffic.” We’re meant to laugh at outrageous, outlandish accusations such as this, but this scene could be used to portray a sad reality in Pakistan. It highlights what is wrong with a large segment of our society. Many Pakistanis seem to have this unhealthy obsession with conspiracy theories, especially those ...
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An open letter to Salman Butt
Dear Salman Butt, I started following you from your days in the Under 17s. I still remember how I started loving Slazenger bats with yellow coloured grips, just because I saw you playing with one in an U-17 Asia Cup match back then. I still remember, randomly enough, that Habib Oil Mills sponsored that tournament. I still remember your test debut against Bangladesh at Multan, where you made a quick fire 37 in the second innings. Salman, I still remember your ODI debut against West Indies, where you were out for a duck, caught in the slips. It was a decent delivery by ...
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Zionist mosquitoes and infidel viruses amongst us
I am assuming most of you have already realized what is causing the massive outbreak of dengue fever in Pakistan. According to a number of confirmed resources, the mosquitoes that are causing dengue have been deliberately engineered with the nefarious virus. After they were infected with the virus, they were inducted into Pakistani airspace where they wrecked havoc. And who, of all, could have inflicted such damage upon us? Of course the Zionists! They have long been jealous of our economic and social progress, not to mention the political stability, the unparalleled research centers and one of the highest literacy rates around the ...
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Taliban and the need for ‘evil USA, Zionists and India’
Terrorists armed with rockets and grenades attacked the headquarters of Pakistan’s naval air force in Karachi on May 22, triggering gun battles that killed at least 13 personnel – three weeks after the killing of Osama Bin Laden. Once again, the Tehrik-i-Taliban (TTP) claimed responsibility for the incident, in retaliation to Pakistan’s alliance with the West in the war on terror and to the killing Bin Laden. According to TTP’s ideology, attacks against Pakistan Army are justified since it is ostensibly assisting America against al Qaeda. However, despite TTP’s open confessions of alliance with al Qaeda, a conspiracy theory exists in ...
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PNS Mehran attack: Countering terrorism and conspiracies
In 2002, after the attacks on the French naval engineer’s bus, the suicide bombing on the US Consulate, and the beheading of Daniel Pearl, Karachi unfortunately received the title of ‘the Terrorism Capital of Pakistan.’ Eventually, the terror campaign moved upcountry and Karachi fell out of the limelight. Nevertheless, it remained an economic hub for terrorists who took advantage of the city’s multicultural demographics and economy for financial gains and networking. It also became a port of arrival and departure to and from the country for local and foreign militants. Karachi, therefore, remained vulnerable to terrorist violence, as was ...
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The market for conspiracy theories
What was limited to marginal audiences in the past has now transformed into a huge commodity. Following every ‘big’ incident in any part of the world, it sells the most – conspiracy theory. In Pakistan, conspiracies theories are constantly evolving. You can get to any conclusion whatsoever, and come up with any analysis on a given situation. It will sell, provided you have a platform to market your theory. The favourite platform for a conspiracy theorist is a television talk show. The real disseminators of such theories, however, are local language newspapers. Deriving their credibility from the conspiracy-theory-based talk shows, the vernacular ...
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Bin Laden is dead, but I want more
Osama Bin Laden is dead, but you knew that already. You’ve heard about it a million times by now and probably swapped inane conspiracy theories back and forth. It seems like a great moment in history doesn’t it? The most wanted man in the world, a six feet plus Arab who evaded and dodged the world’s most powerful military and intelligence sources for over a decade has finally been hunted down like a common criminal and eliminated once and for all. Pakistan awoke to the news with surprise. It seemed so surreal, so theatrically staged. Obama proclaimed the news with ...
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Conspiracy Bin Laden: Is he really dead?
Osama is dead. (Or is he alive?) The US killed him in a special forces operation. (Or did they only get his look-alike?). He was America’s bitterest foe. (Or was he was an American agent?) Laden’s body was spirited away and buried at sea to avoid his burial place becoming a militant shrine (Or is he actually in captivity and the entire exercise is a psychological warfare ruse designed to confuse Al-Qaeda while the US interrogates him?) No, the truth must be that Osama died many years ago and the latest reports are only meant to put Pakistan in a tight ...
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World Cup conspiracies: Bal Thackeray is an ISI agent
Everyone is talking about arch-rivals Pakistan and India facing each other in a World Cup semi-final on Wednesday. Here are a few golden statements that Pakistan cricket fans are making: Pakistan was given a place in the semi-final as a reward for releasing Raymond Davis. Reaching Mohali a week before the match is no good; the Pakistani players may get paid off. Indians are good at black magic – check out how their pundits throw amulets on the Mohali pitch. The Mohali pitch has been developed to assist the Indian players. Pakistanis will lose the match because they know the Indian crowd will beat the ...
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