Hafiz Saeed: The (10) million dollar man
Ten million dollars. Not one, not five, 10! This is it Pakistanis. If you don’t take this opportunity, you have no one else to blame but yourself for not winning this lottery. Easier than any question asked by Amitabh Bachchan on KBC, this is the fastest, surest way to the top guys. America has answered your prayers and you can get out of poverty – now! Even with the usual 10% ‘charges’, this would leave you with a cool $9 million. Move to Karachi, officially the world’s cheapest city, and live the rest of your life in a nice bungalow with ...
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Jaipur Literature Festival: Prisoner of a palace
An outsider who has never been part of the Jaipur Literature Festival wonders what goes on for four days in the Diggi Palace, a 16th century palace owned by one of the descendants of some nondescript feudal lords. The day starts with four different sessions on varied issues running parallel in four different venues, aptly named Mughal Durbar, Mughal Tent and so on. Before lunch, three such sessions are held and writers interact with moderator and audience. The same continues after the elaborate rich Rajasthani lunch and it ends at 6.30 pm. Then, the music session starts and soon after, the bar and ...
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Warning! The PTA might not approve of this bakwas
The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority has decided to ban the word ‘bakwaas’ (nonsense). Let me say this right here – that is such bakwaas. It has also banned the word Jesus Christ. There go Merry Christmas messages to Christian friends. There goes, now that I think about it, this particular conversation I found in my phone: “Hey I heard you were ill – did you really faint in Chemistry class today?” “Jesus, how fast does news spread around school anyway? I am feeling much better.” To be honest though, I am not that fussed. Stranger, inexplicable things have happened. Facebook, for instance was banned ...
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PTA bans, and words we cannot say
Dearly beloved and graciously naïve, The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) has allegedly compiled a list of words that the directors have deemed obscene and want to ban for text messages. As laughable as this may seem, this list, if real, is a clear example of the extremist mentality that some of the office-bearers in Pakistan have. Sifting through these banned words, I discovered that even the word “Jesus Christ” might be forbidden, along with many other words of everyday usage. Why on earth has Jesus’s name been banned? Is it some kind of an abusive word? As much as rightists and McBurqas may like it, ...
Read Full PostTali-ban(d), baja, baraat!
In the tradition of banning Facebook, motorcycle double sawaari, and kite flying, the Pakistan government is now proud to introduce to you the new ban – the Taliban. A peace deal has been brokered by this year’s PHD winner Rehman Malik (earlier won for making ‘peaces’ of Karachi) between the government and the Taliban. The group has accepted and are now in talks with the PPP to form a coalition government in which the Taliban will have sole rights to make all the decisions for Pakistan. The conservatives are pleased while the liberals have packed their bags and bought their tickets. ...
Read Full PostAre you a part of Slackistan?
“You should talk about the film Slackistan.” The clock on the wall strikes 11 am: the boy behind me is watching the second hand tick by, his head slumped against the desk. The girl next to him is using her dupatta as a pillow-cum-blanket. Its the cliché free period, but today is too hot and humid to talk, let alone work. The only person wide awake is sitting right next to me. “You know, Slackistan?” she reiterates. The film Slackistan? What else could possibly be said about that one year old film? Article upon ...
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