You are so not Prince Charming
A husband is a clingy, attention-seeking, insecure wimp, who's 'upset' with you all the time.
The more I interact with men, the more I realize how loathsome they are. They usually have just one thing on their minds when talking to a woman – no – make that always, and it doesn’t require a lot of imagination to think what it is.
Why, I ask is that? I understand that it might have a little to do with biology and chemistry and some other sciences but it gets boring, mundane and repetitive.
Even if a man has the power to hold my attention for more than a few hours with his intellect and humor, by the end of the evening he ends up becoming a carnivore looking for a piece of meat. And if a man has the guts to deny this to my face may God send the pox on him and his progeny.
I find, being single in these times hazardous to say the least. All kinds of vermin and weirdos creep up trying (quite literally) to crawl up your sleeves. Am I being crass?
What is a woman to do when men are, from all angles, sides, crevices and gaps trying to slither their way to you as though you are Manna from heaven itself? Men, please back off because for me pursuit is the key; if you stick to me like leeches, all I can do is bleed and try to get as far from you as possible.
I can say with authority that the Pakistani man is a desperate being. He wants a woman, no, he wants lots of women all the time, for only one thing and that thing only. Add to this the complete idiocy of our men doing the rounds, sticky hair sticking up, strange clothes plus stranger shoes, always a wife ensconced in the background but never really brought out and discussed in the open, stingy habits, sub-zero sense of humour and worst of all – no conversation.
I’ve lost hope of ever coming across a man who can converse well. Perhaps in the next life, or in another universe – no harm in hoping, is there?
So if you are a man, and if you have nothing to say then the best bet would be to stay clear of this deluded cow.
I want a hero
I do.
Is it too much to ask for? Have we been duped all our lives? Is the fairytale a very cruel joke?
All our lives, we women are fed stories of strong men who, aside from being tall, dark and stunningly handsome, are the epitome of courage, bravery, integrity, class, and politeness. Armed with the job of protecting and saving damsels (distressed or otherwise) they are mysterious like Zorro, lithe, athletic, well-read, patient, and fall madly in-love with us. Moreover, they stay madly in-love with us for the rest of our lives.
The rude shock of reality hits a girl with the first romantic relationship she has. Instead of a daring macho hunk, you are handed a clingy, attention-seeking, paranoid, insecure wimp who is ‘upset’ with you more than half the time you are with him. The twisted logic he gives is of loving you so much, that he loses his mind and is rude and jealous.
With marriage, all illusions one may have about love and romance disappear. Your husband, who is supposed to care for you, love and cherish you turns out to be a tattered soul in perpetual need for something or the other. Leave aside the thought of him taking care of you; he is the one in need of constant attention and appreciation whether he deserves it or not. He wants everything that will make him feel good about himself – he needs to be cajoled and pampered, put on a pedestal especially by his wife (apparently, something to do with male-ego.)
When you have children this facade starts to fade. Sometimes a grown man can be jealous of his own child.
Yet, despite everything I’ve seen I believe in dreams. So even if reality is crude, there must be a realm where the fairytale man exists.
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.
Hahaha, this is some funny stuff.
Goodluck.Recommend
Need a male response to that?
“Sexism” goes both ways. If men can’t say that Pakistani women are dumb and loathsome, you can’t call Pakistani men dumb and loathsome either. That’s pretty offensive, even if you’re just kidding.
Also, in what country are men not chasing women all the time? What you’re ranting about here is “testosterone”, not Pakistani culture. You’ll find such behaviour in any place inhabited by a male.
“Clingy”, “insecure”, “wanting to be cajoled, pampered and placed on the pedestal”. I hate to break it to you, but you might find one or two Pakistani women who have the same issues.Recommend
like seriously? these kinda posts get published? wah!Recommend
This blog post is totally outrageous, and very much overrated.Recommend
Well at least with a man you know what you are getting. You still know where you stand with a genuine 100 rupee note covered in Paan stains as opposed to a fake 100 dollar bill. And with women it’s layers of fakeness upon fakeness from their bleached foundation-packed, make-up caked faces, threaded moustache-free lipstick-slapped lips, threaded bare and then redrawn eyebrows, down to their push-up bras, push-down cleavages, and high-heeled princess complexes who want to be swept off their feet by a Disney character who’s tough and sensitive, traditional and modern, who respects a womans independence while being capable of supporting her.
You don’t want a fairytale man. You’re living in a fairytale.
Yet, in spite of your shortcomings, we still love women anyway.Recommend
You know it will be so much better for you if you come out of your dream world and accept reality. Agreed the men do not meet your standards, but have you considered that maybe you don’t meet theirs too?. I don’t know what you are talking about when you say “All our lives, we women are fed stories of strong men who, aside from being tall, dark and stunningly handsome, are the epitome of courage, bravery, integrity, class, and polite…….”
The fact of the matter is that all our lives, in Pakistan, whether we belong to the middle-class, upper-class or lower-class, we are taught that the men in our lives are always right! and not necessarily tall…blah blah as you listed. IF you want to live a peaceful life, it is better that you have less expectations and demands. Instead of making a checklist of the things you want, why not steer your man to become a better person etc ? Instead of looking for a clone, that exhibits all the above traits you demand and only exists in movies !
And please don’t generalize when you say “With marriage, all illusions one may have about love and romance disappear…..” Just like not all women are the same, all men are not alike too. And I feel while it takes two to make a marriage fail it takes the same two to make it work.
And I think you should be old enough to know that Fairy tales are not reality! We the younger generation need to change our perceptions about these things, and life would be so much easier and we all so much happier!
Unless of course you think ET is just a way to rant about your personal grievances and you wanna stay the same!
peaceRecommend
Why are you so bitter Lubna Khan??Recommend
http://hamstershorts.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/the-many-species-of-et-bloggers-chapter-1/Recommend
if anyone knows her ex husband. I really really want to meet him. He is my new hero.Recommend
what do u expect men to do, to kneel in front of you? The body chemistry btw man & woman is the greatest reality of life; whether we admit or not. I think it is high time for u to hook up with some decent guy and throw away the feminist trash out of your mind. That is mirage, not based on reality. It is not like what u want from a man, but also keep in mind that what a man expects from a woman. it is not a win-win situation rather you gain something, you lose something. If all this is not sufficent then better read American sociologist Esther Vilar’s book, The Manipulated Man. Lastly, if u think that Pakistani men are so bad, then all the men of world do not live in Pakistan, search for a groom somewhere else. Complaining here will do no good.Recommend
“Every generalization is false,including this one ” – Mark TwainRecommend
It is your second anti-men post and it seems that it is your on net pastime to write against all the mazlom men of Paksitan. Jiyeeeeee MardRecommend
Wow girl, this is sort of mean! Were you p*ssed off when you wrote this?Recommend
A little introspection might be in order. Perhaps the problem is not “men” but a little closer to home.Recommend
well,it’s not our fault.We are raised by society this way.from birth we are told that we are superior to girls,we are the breadwinners,the one who will support the parents,the one who will give kandha to the dead body of the parents while our sisters we are implicitly and explicitly told are the burdens,the burden of their jahez,the constant burden of the fear of their getting raped and bringing ”dishonour” to the family.our legal system gives a man’s evidence in court twice the weight of a woman’s so misogyny and infeririority of women is institutionalised in our laws,in our society.A lot of girls i know who had done their masters with me now sit by choice at home and when i confront them they say,why should i work? why should i earn? i’ll get a husband who’ll earn for me.this mentality of our women of being unashamed of enjoying mufta and free riding off their husband’s earnings is a primary reason for the poor state of women in our society.
our women need to realise that they have to aim to have careers of their own instead of depending on prince charming to provide for their needs.stop the muftakhori and earn for yourselves and you’ll get the respect you crave ladies.Recommend
Brutally and woefully true, seriously. They all would unite to bash your post by posting snide comments and trying to attack your personality, but to be honest, even if they think you are a feminist, they have to admit that Pakistani men are intrinsically tharki . Period.Recommend
Nice. Very nice. Women the world over deal with idiotic men. That’s the common ground we stand on.
But, you went overboard with the criticism. There are plenty of good men out there. Infact, most men i’ve come across are not jealous or possesive. That’s a trait i associate with women. Men are more than happy to live and let live. There are Intelligent, humourous, loving men. I’m married to one of them. :) :) :) But then again, i’ve never met a pakistani man so maybe what u’ve said about pakistani men is true. I wouldn’t know !Recommend
“A husband is a clingy, attention-seeking, insecure wimp, who’s ‘upset’ with you all the time.”.
Thank you Ms Khan for validating my point that all women think alike; because these are the exact words often used by dearest wife to describe me.Recommend
its takes 20 years for a mother to make a boy gentleman & only 20 mins for a girl like you to make one mad.Recommend
lo ji karlo gal.Recommend
lol.
Paranoid ‘cow’.Recommend
life is not a fairytale…and we have to accept that..
no ideals..this is real life sis!Recommend
Madam…now that’s a lot of anger…but honestly its not about a man only…its about every relationship…when you care more about what you get in a relationship vs. what you give in a relationship…there will always be grievances…even if you find the next best thing to an angel. We sincerely hope and pray that you find the object of your dreams.Recommend
I kinda agree that men in our society are mostly like this…just me me me.they dont care for their family,all the time time they complain.but im still hopeful that i might someone who doesn’t have God-ego,who could see beyond his own nose….lets see when reality shatters this fantasy for me.Recommend
You’re quite right. Its not just Pakistani men, its the same everywhere. But see, If it was the 80s or even 90s i would have bought the idea without questioning it, but in this age, men cry the same.
How often do you find women who don’t have a ‘forsaken past’ that makes their spouse whine about all the time when ever he is to start a quarrel.
I think the problem here is understanding, but as you said, ‘men’ are more interested in “he is the one in need of constant attention and appreciation whether he deserves it or not”.
Counseling is the only solution i see, and not just for men but for women too. Each party needs to get out of the little bubble they live in and start paying attention to those around.
Remember! it takes two to tango.Recommend
well-written…but the theme is getting repititive – you have shot this angle to pieces…Recommend
Totally agree with the writer!!!the only thing men please thinking while talking to a woman is ‘u know what!!!’and puhleezz don’t use ‘testosterone’ as an excuse,this is where men is differentiated from an animal…’CONTROL’.
men or women.. understand the fact that being leaches would only make the other person bleed as rightly put by the writer.When in a relation try to spend a good part time together and then give some space….for breathing!!!Recommend
“its takes 20 years for a mother to make a boy gentleman & only 20 mins for a girl like you to make one mad.” This is brilliant Mr. Haqqani. As for the post, I could go on for ages talking about this (great conversation skills) but would rather not waste my time online providing rebuttal to such crass comments. I’m sure the poster is a great person who has just had some bad & difficult experiences with men…Recommend
Ms. Khan, I would respectfully disagree.
Initially, you began as a critique of men, that all they want is to sleep with a girl.
afterwards you suggested that they’re not only perverts, they’re all lame too.
then you said all your life you heard about such n such gentlemen. moreover, you took the liberty of targeting Pakistani men more specifically – which was totally unasked for in the article and where its content was headed.
and in the end, you concluded in a way that was ridiculous, which shows you yourself are nothing short of a big nagging machine, who will nag her way out of any relationship, and yet blame it on whoever the not-so-gentle guy was.
The paradox here, my dear, is that you yourself need to be gentle and decent to find a match. The article you’ve written here comes from probably your own experiences or those of your close acquaintances.
Pakistani men have desires like every man on earth, so let’s not even go there.
If you’re a decent-dresser, and not the outgoing kind, you’ll find someone who’s decent, looking for someone decent – and who will love you and respect you for the rest of your life… however, the question is, how can you become decent enough to attract the decent men, not the predators. :)Recommend
The problem with women is they always choose the wrong men. That is where the problem lies. A woman herself never knows what she wants. If a guy stops the pursuit “Oh why did he stop chasing me?” and when he is pursuing her “Such a flirt”. Pakistani women I have seen both living abroad as well as in Pakistan are the most confused beings on earth and need to decide what they are looking for.Recommend
Really? Which era are u talking about? To say that all men are like that, is like saying, all Muslims are terrorists. Which really isnt the case.
Times have changed, even in Pakistan. Such people are now mostly found in our rural areas and thats because there isnt any social development in those areas. That doesnt mean you wont find them in our cities, u will, but even they are going to be the ones who might be educated but do not belong to educated families.
Please keep an open mind about such things.Recommend
basically, what she’s asking for is an impotent zombie who wears a suit and reads Shakespeare to her all the time. :DRecommend
“Instead of a daring macho hunk, you are handed a clingy, attention-seeking, paranoid, insecure wimp who is ‘upset’ with you more than half the time you are with him. The twisted logic he gives is of loving you so much, that he loses his mind and is rude and jealous.”
Um, no. YOU were handed a clingy, attention-seeking, paranoid, insecure wimp who is upset with you more than half the time you are with him. Ironic that you’re whining about whiners.Recommend
Just a troll and trolls are used to improve the webpage rating.Recommend
I respect your views, but I feel that you’re looking it form one angle. As a teenager, I see couples all the time. In fact, most of my friends are in relationships. Some of them ended up in disasters, while others are still hanging on.
I know boys AND girls who want a relationship, who want to find love, but they can’t. The boys says that all the girls are close-minded and have brains filled with make-up and have no dignity while the the girls say that the boys are sweating hooligans who have no respect for others.
Let’s face it, men aren’t to blame for everything. Women are also at fault for their own actions.Recommend
were you married to joey or hank moody by any chance???Recommend
HAHAHAHA! The article was funny enough until I saw all the comments which makes it funnier! Bunch of dudes rushing to defend their honor :P Priceless. Now let’s have a guy write an article about girls being hypocrites and then hundreds of girls will post on that. Then we can follow it with an article on how pets are stupid and we’d have all the pet owners rush in. To that again but this time on how pets are better than children and parents would rush to comment. We can keep doing this for months :P
GO!Recommend
Whoa!! this is one confused blog…on one hand the author despises macho men and on the other she seeks them as heroes looking for their love. However, this is not the biggest confusion she is experiencing. Her most illogical conclusion is that only Pakistani men are like that. Being a man i will not even try to say that men do not think about “the thing” but i must object to generalizing only the men from Pakistan in this manner.Recommend
It’s HI-TIME when ET needs to filter out such posts! This was Filmyyyy, Veryyyy Filmyyyy!Recommend
For God’s Sake !
you CANNOT generalize all. It should never be Men vs Women as both are so much different. Moreover the traits you mentioned can easily be found in women, and the pakistani part is really disturbing. IRecommend
hahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahaha.
breathe
hahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahaha.
lmfao lmfao lmfao.
I laughed myself off my chair. Get a life loser. Your rant only proved more that you are what you appear.Recommend
Seems you have not met a real man in your life. No doubt men try hard to impress the opposite sex which can last only for few hours and than the real face shows up. Anyways, I tell my sweet wife, i am a TV with 150 A-Z channels, its upto you which one you wanna watch.Recommend
‘All our lives, we women are fed stories of strong men who, aside from being tall, dark and stunningly handsome, are the epitome of courage, bravery, integrity, class, and politeness. Armed with the job of protecting and saving damsels (distressed or otherwise) they are mysterious like Zorro, lithe, athletic, well-read, patient, and fall madly in-love with us. Moreover, they stay madly in-love with us for the rest of our lives.’
lolz who told you all that trash ?Recommend
Lol. You clearly need to find better groups of people to hang out with. If you really want to shed the ‘taken for meat’ syndrome, you may as well start resembling a cow in appearance- you won’t be troubled more.Recommend
Though we all have prejudices and biases but the writer seems to be severely prejudiced and through her writing she has aired her personal prejudices against Pakistani men. In my opinion, one has to have scientific approach in dealing with such matters. Had she been logical and rational, she would not have been so unjust, narrow-minded and biased.
It’s become habit of some of us to make such sweeping statements but we forget that justifying such statements is almost next to impossible. Another possible reason for the writer’s views could be the people around her like her close relatives.Recommend
agreed……..with few exceptionsRecommend
So what’s the big deal? men are from mars and women are from venus.. :D.. they have their own turn offs and so as yoursRecommend
I completely agree with the author. She is 100% correct from her perspective. We must appreciate her perspective even if it isn’t 100% correct. Nevertheless, she’s correct in totality because she hasn’t met a Hero (as defined by her) yet, i.e. chances are she hasn’t met a guy as good as this man writing this comment over here.Recommend
We, men take your article as compliment.Recommend
@Haqqani:
well said mate :)Recommend
Wow you are one bitter person girl. You need a Chill Pill & understand that all generalizations are false, including this one. As a man, I understand your views on a society like ours, but to stake a claim that throughout the world, men are similar, u need to desprately go out with some decent human beings.
BTW, calling Sex as Sex will not cause the wrath of the maulvis to fall on you. That is what’s wromg with our society. We need to understand that calling a spade a spade is what is required. As calpping is not possible with one hand, your so called “One thing on a man’s mind” is also not possible, unless its under duress or force. BTW, women too desire the same thing, its natural and suppressing it is the primary reason why our society has become so control freak. I am talking about healthy participation between the sexes in activities, conversation & work.
Your views in my opinion are driven either by some personal tragedy or if not, you are under the serious influence of “Living in a fantasy world”! I am married, love marriage, know it needs both the man & woman to make changes to their respective single lifestyle and some give & take to ensure marriage is successful. Our society already has pleaty of devils, do not add being normal to that list.
Cheers!Recommend
This blogger has demonstrated some seriously warped thinking.
I’ll just use the female half of this picture to explain the way this woman is thinking.Recommend
hahahaha :D…i loved n enjoyed reading the comment posts rather than the cold n insensitive post itself…. and guys…please..seriously…we dont have to clarify and explain our perspective in or defense…. sooner or later every woman realizes that she made the wrong choice or decision if she ends up with one of the above mentioned kind of man…. its not a disease….we dont have to convince them that “No im not like this or we are all not the same ” bla bla…….
Ms Khan. if there is nothing else in your mind to write about… its better u ask for suggestions rather then writing such an article….. This is not an article of awareness or your opinion but hatred. a sexist and feminist ideology. its better if you write about women in Pakistan and their legal and social rights. that would be much appreciated…..
Regards
Siddiqui.Recommend
@Loller: who doesn’t have problems mate ???? its all about understanding and learning from your mistakes but some people choose to whine for anything that doesn’t go their way so its more like * tum naacho tau shoq hum nachain tau mujra !!!!*
@haseeb: thanks man :)Recommend
Thank you for the compliment, this coming from a married man with a very happy life. :) My wife also mentioned that she’d like to show you about a gazzlion exceptions to the picture you’ve painted above.Recommend
I agree we men are total idiots at times. “BUT WOMEN ARE THE MAIN CAUSE OF US BECOMING IDIOTS”! and yes fairly tales are just stupid, this is REAL LIFE NOT A NOVEL OR COMIC BOOK! I guess you must have read loads of novels and comics about fairy-tale love stories!
One piece of advice.. “Pehley apney ghirban mein jahankoh phir kis aur key”! =D Peace LADY!Recommend
Girl, seriously,if you’re looking for a rishta on ET blogs, you are at the wrong place! Go sign up for Shadi Online or the likes!Recommend
As a follow up of your previous blogs, why are you so obsessed with men, relationships and marriages?? Theres more to life (women’s life, mind you) than marriages… So get down and do something constructive!Recommend
@Sohaib:
it gets published because you want to read it… accept it or not, but you do Bro.Recommend
they are sick and they’ll remain sick ( i mean MEN) especially Pakistani Men…. I like what you wrote and i support your ideas.Recommend
already much have been said…but i m really surprised that such kinda immature articles get published too..!!!Recommend
I blame Disney. -.-Recommend
@Sara Zaman: Sara how dare you calling me sick.Recommend
A few of the facts maybe true but most of the instances you went overboard. I wonder how such biased and baseless blogs get published. :PRecommend
Seems to me like someone’s high on a dose of Disney. One would expect them to grow up and learn from past failed relationshits. This is utter garbage. Stereotyping and personal insecurities at its best. smhRecommend
Sara Zaman is the alter identity of lubna khan.Recommend
@Arshad Afridi:
great, the way you described author is really nice.Recommend
This article does not define the entire male population in Pakistan. The aforementioned “heroes” do exist.Recommend
you mean Pakistani husband?Recommend
Now I understand why our Prophet (PBUH) said that women should not be burdened with independent thinking.
How will Islam spread if Muslim women start finding fault with our Muslim men !!!Recommend
What should I say here? I think in last 6 months, at least 3 men have done “something” to you and each time a man does “something” you post a blog here.Recommend
@Lubna Khan: I really don’t get this! You are a “literature buff” who is a full time mom to a 12-year-old and all you could write about is how men have this one thing on their mind bla bla bla!
Believe me dear, alot of us (decent) men don’t like to talk to women like you either.Recommend
The title of this post should have been “I refuse to accept the fact that real life does not emulate Mills & Boon”…Recommend
What an incredible baloney! and how imprudent of editors to allow such fantastically childish pieces to be published. I am amused in a rather disgusting way. For all the pretentious prima donnas out there looking for heroes:”You’ll get only what you deserve, nothing more. Prince Charmings won’t touch nagging, bickering, over-analyzing shrews with a ten feet pole. So grow up and get a life!”.Recommend
Oh Dear, You are indeed been through some really tragic times… My sympathies with you, but please don’t take out the anger of one man over the rest of us.
I don’t think that men in this society are as you described:
“A husband is a clingy, attention-seeking, insecure wimp, who’s ‘upset’ with you all the time.”
But the only reason one is acting such way is if you are not able to win his trust……
Bottom line: It’s a two way traffic…….Recommend
I’m a young woman, I’m single, I’ve seen my female friends/acquaintances go through all kinds of male related shit, so I do have my doubts about the whole love thing and finding a worthy man, but wow, bitter much??
I’ve seen people close to me get divorced, so I’m also a bit shaky on the whole marriage thing too, and men cheating/lying/psychotic male behavior all that, but you’re a whole next level.
How about just try to chill and keep an open mind? I don’t know if such a man exists, but even if he does exist, your negative attitude is 1. not going to let you see he’s the one and 2. drive him away if he is indeed a quality man with self respect.
I myself have defense mechanisms that kick in right away, and I don’t let my guard down but I do realize I need to relax things a bit to give someone a chance (if they seem like they may have something to offer).
The world is a messed up place, but the way we look at it makes it more or less so as well. We can’t do much about what’s going on, but at least try to control our own biases from getting in the way of our own happiness.
Your post did make me feel better though, because the next time someone tells me I need to believe in love more, I’ll just show them your post to prove there are women out there who are in pretty bad shape. Wow, I can still feel the hate radiating off the page.
P.S. I’m a special features writer for a website, and have written a few pieces on the dilemma of finding the one, but all the sarcasm in all my articles combined can’t equal the soul searing effect of this one. I feel for any relatively normal guys reading your post-ouch!!!Recommend
“I can say with authority that the Pakistani man is a desperate being.” Do you have the same opinion about your father? I assume he is Pakistani, right?Recommend
You are right men suck. Jiyeeeee AuratRecommend
@malik: Dont you know that Islam doesnt ONLY spread through Muslim progeny, but also by setting a good example that others will want to emulate, and so they will choose to enter the fold of Islam?
I’m afraid I refuse to belive your outrageous claim, that the Prophet (SAW), an exemplary person who was kind and respectful to women would say something like “they shouldnt be BURDENED with independent thinking”. You’re being ridiculous, just like the typical pakistani male.
The writer is right in saying that the average pakistani male is highly undesirable—but i disagree with her hilarious and naieve demand for a romantic hero; PERFECT guys dont exist, but i’m sure there are some nice guys out there.Recommend
Maybe the author cant differ between her dreams and what the world actually has to offer. This looks like a typical bollywood-inspired girls, and thats the most irritating thing we men have to deal with, girls who think their whole life is a bollywood movie where they themselves have the heroine-role and we men are supposed to be their John Abraham. “Prince charming” the way the author describes it….is a fictitious character. Stop flying high girl, maybe you should change your surroundings if you ever opt to find a good husband…..Recommend
“Yet, despite everything I’ve seen I believe in dreams. So even if reality is crude, there must be a realm where the fairytale man exists.”
Come on Madam!! This is Real Life, not a Fairytale or a dream. In my humble opinion, your views will change altogether after your marriage. Neither a woman nor a man will ever find her or his dream fulfilled. No one is perfect in this world so why are we obsessed in finding a perfect partner for us. Personaly, I have many weaknesses as a man so how can I expect my wife to be a perfect lady of my dreams. Same advice for you; Never expect the perfection, you’ll never find it in this life. Here I would like to mention a verse from an Urdu ghazal “Saaray jhagrhay hee Zindagi takk hain… KAUN Martaa hai phir KISI kay Liay”Recommend
Nice one lady!Recommend
Great article! I totally agree with Lubna, most men, not only in our society, but all around the world are this way..
The men who disagree ..well.. men NEVER accept their draw backs, not do they acknowledge their mistakes… so Hallelujah.
The women who disagree with the article.. are you ladies even married?!!
@ A Woman: “”we are taught that the men in our lives are always right! and not necessarily tall…blah blah as you listed. IF you want to live a peaceful life, it is better that you have less expectations and demands”"
It is women like you, who end up being beaten up and tortured by their in-laws or husband.
So change you perspective and grow up.
And for those married women who disagree with the article, i wish you best of luck and am honestly happy for you, because you have found prince charming!
Peace to all.Recommend
for all those men who got upset with this blog, watch the video and feel relaxed… still there are many who appreciate us, as we TRULY are , who write and sing songs for us… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=canWvawQ4q8Recommend
you sure have very strange men all around you.Recommend
@LIZ
Please keep your generalization to yourself please. I have been married for 10 great years, with no one torturing or beating me up.
Are you even married ?!Recommend
Men suck in general , till you meet the right one . He will change your mind with his love.Recommend
You Madam shouldn’t have come out of the kitchen.Recommend
Lubna, this may be true for you, but it works both ways. I have been on the other side of the coin and would use the same adjectives for a woman. Now of course it would not be fair to generalize. It is the ones male or female who are extremely insecure that behave like this. It may be a result of childhood trauma or abuse. For example nymphomaniacs are created by childhood trauma and they are seeking a father figure and mistake sex for love.
By the way I see why men who run into you may end up having one thing in mind as you are an attractive woman.Recommend
Eldest sister of Awais Lovely.Recommend
@misspink:
The problem is that both men and women go through bad experiences. The solution is to move on. A lot of us are looking for perfection that does not exist. One should be willing to accept people with their shortcomings and not want it their own way all the time. Human psychology is a very complex thing and many of us carry baggage from our childhood. It is very hard to give this up. In Lubna’s case it may be her own baggage or her spouse’s, but she has to see what triggered the feelings that she has and then tackle them accordingly.
It is very easy to stereotype and write about ones bad experiences whether it be men or women.Recommend
Its funny when i thought people having the same thoughts, feminism existed in my class and i wanted to beat the hell out of them someday, which i couldnt so i tried being RUDE and all PAIN IN THE A**.
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNN, Feminism, RUN, GETTT AA LIFEE, be mature enough to see what the reality has to offer and take benefits out of it, stop crying for GOD SAKE.Recommend
I don’t agree with all you say, but you sure are keeping a nice and readable blog (which is saying a lot); keep up the good work.Recommend
As an attention-grabbing gimmmick, this “piece” has been sucessful. Other than being a woman, what makes the writer think that men don’t get disappointed in women when they grow up with dreams of the “naik perveen” kind of caring mate?Recommend
Ok you know what? YOU madam, need to GROW UP. Grow up and STOP feeding the notion that men must fit a mould of ideals to be loved. What your type of woman (and trust me, you are a “type”) finds attractive in a man is everything that is wrong with our country & indeed, the world. It’s greedy, unnatural and unhealthy. Your train of thought and others like it is what is setting our society back in everything that we hope to achieve. You want equality? You want fairness? Try walking a mile in a guy’s shoes & THEN maybe you can be someone who knows what she’s babbling on about.
Look, I sympathise with your situation. But it’s plain NUTS to blame the entire male half of humanity for all the ills you’ve mentioned! I acknowledge there are some really depraved people in our society, in some unlikeliest of places…
But you’ve got to muddle through, just like the rest of us. Have some faith in Allah. Get some professional help. Talk to a psychiatrist. Start working out. Get over yourself. Focus on your son. Stop putting up your DP & cover yourself up if you must avoid advances at all costs. But do NOT, under any circumstances, scream bloody murder when a guy acts improperly, as women CAN be (and sometimes ARE) guilty of the same.Recommend
Find yourself a girl who’s a friend and be happy. Would that be possible for you ???Recommend
Lubna, I am sure you have not met me yet! Don’t worry, youll eventually find me if you look harder! ;)Recommend
First of all, Ms. Lubna, wake up! it’s not a dream world. You’re not gonna find a ‘tall, dark and stunningly handsome’ guy as we’re not gonna find a neeli aankho wali gori girl. It’s real life, you make compromises to be happy. You learn to live what you can really have.
Second of all, there’s a thin line between feminism and sexism. And you not only marched inside the sexism area, but have gone way too far. Had it been a post by a guy about a girl, then this world would’ve turned upside down, believe me.
A humble suggestion for the next time: Don’t write articles with mirch masala to get some attention. Be realistic!Recommend
@Besharam:
I don’t agree with this at all !Recommend
@A Woman:
Well, if you have been married and have a good husband, good for you lady. U are one of the lucky few.
If you don’t agree with the article, that’s up to you but the is how 99% of men are!!!
no offense, but relax woman!!! not every girl has the luck to have a husband like yours… lol…..
and yes, i am married, not abused or tortured or beaten up thank god, but most of the things mentioned in the article is quite true!!
so you go and treat your husband like the endangered species he is! Cheers!Recommend