Because I’m a lesbian

Published: November 6, 2011

I'm an ordinary girl from a middle class family - except I'm a lesbian.

For 24 years, the horror of lesbianism haunted me. No, I don’t belong to an anti-religion, mod squad, liberal family. My family is as normal as any middle-class and religious family could be.

After my teens, I grew up questioning my sexual orientation and my doubts turned into guilty trepidation when I realized this was not “just the phase” I was going through. This was the my life which I had been constantly denying.

Being a lesbian in Pakistan where one is eloquently declared a sinner or deemed to have a psychological disorder, is like committing a crime. You are considered as disgusting as filth, as unnatural as molestation, as uncouth as an animal.

I decided to remain in the closet; it was safe and respectable. Also, because it remains the only option when you don’t have enough strength to meet your own fears or peoples’ questions.

Time passed by but my repressed emotions did not die. No matter how blase you act at school  it is still profoundly hard to be accepted. Of course, everyone you know is against marital rape, forced marriages, killing in the name of blasphemy, but when it comes to accepting homosexuality:

“Are you in your senses? Tauba Tauba

Fear of rejection from the system has always been the big let down. Always.

Thankfully, my keen interest in women has never been questioned; I have not been subject to the hardships faced by homosexual men. This is a sad and global phenomenon; homosexual men suffer far more than the women do.

My eventual confession took years of silence and tears of blood. I gathered my all strength and shared the truth with my loved ones and I am glad that I did. Now, I am not in the closet from my friends and nor am I alone. I am a fearful lesbian, but one who is supported by her loved ones.

After my experience I want to clarify a few myths about the homosexual community:

1. Homosexuality is a mental disease: Everything that stands out even a little bit is often labelled as abnormal. You will find a heck of a lot of creeps criticizing feminism too.

2. Homosexuality is a choice: I wish this was true. The kind of self-loathing and frustration we homosexuals go through, trust me, if it were a choice, we would never choose to exist in such secrecy.

3. Homosexuals are constantly looking for sex: Sex is a normal physical need, and we don’t have desires any greater than the next person.

4. They are just lonely as they are rejected by the opposite sex: You have got to be kidding me. This is mostly said for lesbians but this is stupid. Lesbians I have met in my life are pretty desirable, including myself. I too have options.

5. They don’t know what they are missing: This might be true in very few cases but experimentation or lack of experience will not alter someone’s orientation.

6. Gay people are anti-religion and morally corrupt: Firstly, all heterosexuals are not religious and morally sound either but this is not the debate. Really? I am a lesbian and I am not an atheist.

I would like to raise the issue of the movement of beheading people in the name of religion which is classified as a freedom movement whereas peaceful protests for LGBT rights is called pornographic. This is the height of hypocrisy and ignorance.

I am not against religion, but I am staunchly against blind practice.

P.S: This blog is a thank you note for The Express Tribune team, who remains courageous and raises voice for oppressed lot and I remain anonymous, but hopefully not for long.

Anonymous 2

Anonymous 2

The author wishes to remain anonymous.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Kashif Alvi

    I wish you all the best and hope you find the spot .Recommend

  • Hira

    @Mustafa Hanif:
    yeah exactlyyy.. how about polygamists who have very natural desires not satisfied by only one person! or child molesters ho are naturally attracted to innocent kids? or rapists who enjoy the power in their sexual relationships?
    if the argument is that its not by choice, that everyone is a slave to their desires, then lets just abolish all religions as they preach the narrow minded, restrictive concepts of self control, limits, rules, right or wrong.. let’s just go back to the pre islamic days of jahalat when everyone’s life was ruled by the satisfaction of their desires and needs , however sadist, masochistic or morally corrupt.. all hail freedom!!Recommend

  • Sarah B. Haider

    @Ashhad A Khan: First, I was being ironic to the entire piece while addressing to the “anonymous” post. Second, though, lesbianism is appealing to many straight women and it sometimes arouses lewd ideas, which is normal, I am definitely intolerant to the the phenomenon and I think I have every right to condemn it just like you are a proponent of it, since the world is full of many opposing ideas. I still propose the notion that its entirely useless to quote Quranic phrases in an attempt to persuade people toward your opinion, because not everyone is a believer. But before continuing, learn to debate an opposing idea. Your entire post contains phrases like “people like you, people like you, self-righteous, bigots like yourself”.What gives you the right to get so personal as if you know me since your childhood and when did you ever find me “verbally abusing” anyone? Look how emotional you are getting man! May be the anonymous poster is your sister or daughter or friend, whatever, but since the writer chose to remain anonymous, why are you getting so emotional?Recommend

  • Sarah B. Haider

    @Loneliberal PK: Well they can choose to be whatever they are, but i strongly condemn the idea of making gay marriages legal and extending support to this so-called repressed community. People’s bedroom activities are their personal matter and that does not require one to beg for people’s support on a public forum, especially when they know that such an idea is not going to be supported because of the religious beliefs of majority of the people. All the three Abrahamic religions, and even the Baha’i faith (as far as my knowledge is concerned) have certain guiding principles on sexual morality, which concentrate on marriage between a man and a woman, reproduction within the confinement of marriage and since, family and religion both are the core social institutions, they form the basic structure of a society. As far as Islam is concerned, there are many things which are plainly forbidden, nonetheless people indulge in such activities. For instance, fornication, infidelity, drinking wine, etc., There might be millions of heterosexual people in Pakistan who have been engaged in pre-marital sex, have borne babies out of the wedlock, but they wouldn’t make it to the streets to make cohabitation legal, or make an illegitimate child to be accepted as a legal one. I think people should keep it to themselves and remain in their closets instead of begging for public support. No matter how hypocritical people become, they are accountable for their own deeds. I am all for respecting mores and moral attitudes of an Islamic society, if one chooses to be deviant in their personal matters, they can but they shouldn’t expect to revolutionize the society with such aberrant ideas.Recommend

  • Qurban

    Great article.. i laud your courage to bring such issues into the collective conscious of this nation however i tend to disagree with you at point 6 when you bunch all atheists together. “I am a lesbian and I am not an atheist.”Not all athiests are anti-religion and certainly not immoral…Recommend

  • Britistani

    @S:

    “@Britistani:
    Are you practicing the so called religion of peace and love? Doesn’t seem like you are!! You yourself are being hypocritical and Jugdemental!! Two different situations. Stop Comparing!! At the end of the day the answer to all our questions is THAT WE CANNOT QUESTION THE WISDOM OF GOD!! Bas. No questions raised, no arguments required.”

    No, I practice humanity :) I have no wish to take morality lessons from supernatural entities.Recommend

  • Anonymous

    I love you Express Tribune!Recommend

  • Shahid3

    From the comments it appears that most people have never met a gay person, especially a female gay person, in person so to speak. If they cannot actually meet one (believe me they are just like anyone else, just as left-handed people aren’t in any way sinister—another remnant of medieval superstition) perhaps they can educate themselves by reading about Pakistani lesbians, listening to their stories, and if they are into adab avail themselves of Ismat Chughtai’s famous afsaana Lihaaf.Recommend

  • Ashhad A Khan

    @Sarah B. Haider: Nobody in my family is gay, but I have a couple of friends who are. Secondly, I used to be very homophobic due to the society I grew up in and a lack of exposure to the people, which is why I feel so strongly about it. I feel strongly about all injustice so its not only this topic, I feel as strongly about things such as the blasphemy law, etc but those are not for this forum. Secondly, you are of course correct in pointing out that I was wrong to have attacked you personally like that so I apologize for that.I probably should not have judged you like that.
    Regardless though, apart from that I still believe in what I was saying. We are too quick to act as a moral police against people whose situations we know nothing about. We are quick to condemn people (and I’m not singling you out but making generalizing statements) without knowing anything of what they’re going through. And I’m not a proponent of homosexuality – I am a proponent of letting people live their lives in peace.Recommend

  • Britistani

    @Sarah B. Haider:

    You wouldn’t be saying that if you were part of that “so-called repressed community” or were an illegitimate child. Get rid of your holier-than-thou attitude and practice some empathy for a change. ;)Recommend

  • Custard Pie Chucker

    Here we go. Another ‘woe is me for I am gay in a straight world’ article. Well done.

    If you think that there is no bigotry towards alternative sexual lifestyles in the West then you are sorely mistaken. As someone who was born and brought up in the UK let me tell you that while the West may be tolerant of homosexuality, accepting it is another matter altogether. An English person may well say that he has no problems with homosexuals but when he finds his sons hidden porn stash, instead of disciplining his son he will with a huge sigh of relief boast to his mates that the material was straight.

    Gay workers may not get harassed or discriminated against at work, but are often the butt of jokes and jibes behind their back.

    I’ve dealt with gay customers, gay colleagues, gay classmates and contrary to what you may think having read my comments, it really does not bother me. What does grind my gears is having to read a stream of articles that end up turning an interesting and varied forum into a mutual gay appreciation forum. There are many groups of people who deserve a sympathetic hearing, and the plight of the middle-class homosexuals isn’t on the top of most peoples list.Recommend

  • Lyxa

    to each person his own. everyone has a right to their own choices and preferences.
    i think its a matter of choice and not a disease. my best friend is a lesbian and she is married, so that makes her a bisexual. she enjoys the pleasure of both the worlds!!

    i hv nothing against gays, or lesbians, or bisexuals, its the human within that counts most. and personally, i believe that gays can be such darling friends!!

    Hats off to you, writer of the blog! Recommend

  • Magicali

    Just to add my 2 cents here..

    Those who support the homosexuals … Its not something that can be accepted if you bring religion into it. Agreed? I dont see Gays being accepted so easily even in the West. Khair thats not the point. My question here is that have we first figured out why religion passes this sort of judgement on homosexuality?

    I wouldnt want to answer that question myself. I would like to but first i would want some pro homosexuals to give their viewpoint.Recommend

  • Faz

    @Sarah B. Haider:
    Exactly! I second your opinion.
    It is indeed very important and sensible to view socially controversial matters not from a personal point of view. A social domain requires the understanding of society dynamics and the respect for its values. Those who keep on arguing for public acceptance of homosexuality in Pakistan are; either ignorant and disrespectful towards the values here; or they want to impose their own biased and half-cooked ideas over the society. I don’t see a third reason.

    If these so-called liberals and free society promoters start thinking with their own minds, instead of reflecting on what the West influences (not inspire) them, they will understand that homosexuality just like adultery in public sphere is a threat to the marriage institution; hence, to our offspring and the future of mankind. How? Why? It does not take a genius to understand it. Go figure!

    Hint: Homosexuality is contagious and most of us have an ill-desire to varying extents buried inside for same sex acts, which may surface depending on the conditions, surroundings , environment and situations.Recommend

  • Anonymous2 (Writer of this post)

    How come I didn’t know it already has screwed so many nuts in their heads and also, this funded by amreeka conspiracy theory? Late realization, indeed.

    I see little tweaks in original post and on few places, it lacks proofread. Mager wo kehtay hain ‘Dil se jo baat nikalti hai asar rakhti hai’ which is why, no complaining rants about proofread issue so far. Thank You ET for letting me stand on your shoulder and raise my voice.

    I am overwhelmed by the kind words which proclaimed genuine endorsement for LGBT rights and tremendously amazed on unreasonable discourse homophobics are not typically ashamed of.

    The moment I came to know this very perception ‘Lesbians can find their sisters hot’ I became the believer of Darwin’s theory. And when my post turned out to be a symathy call for homophobics, I instantly thought of Einstein, He says that only one thing is infinite and I, once again, witnessed its explicit exhibition. I mean, SERIOSULY? All I will sum up my comment with is, ‘Fnd a space inside your skull and light within your heart’ Afaaqa hoga. Pakka waada.Recommend

  • Anonymous2 (Writer of this post)

    @Qurban: Gratitude. Point 6 was subjected to the wrong perception that is LGBT has nothing to do with Relgion. And crtianly, not all athiests are anti-religion and immoral by any mean.Recommend

  • Anonymous2 (Writer of this post)

    @Red: My argument ‘I am lesbian and I am not an athiest’ doesn’t establish that I objected Athiesm. NEVER. It’s ones’ personal matter to be religious or athiest.

    Where did this pornography come from? Stop assuming. Cheers.Recommend

  • http://Peshawar Zarmeena Ikram Babar

    @Asma:
    You should know that Pakistan is not Islamic Republic -Please open your eyes and better do proper research on that. Even Quaid-e-Azam declared it in his speech on 11th August 1945 that Pakistan will be state will be a secular state although it was created in the name of Islam but by calling it a secular state he wanted to ensure rights for the minorities and non-Muslims living in Pakistan.

    Homosexuals are Muslims too- stop sidelining them by basing their sexuality abnormal -even science hasn’t proved homosexuals abnormal. You are no God to declare them non-religious. Besides that religion is a very private matter between God and human being himself -so stop making a fuss out of it in streets -

    You don’t chose a life of your own always and if someone is a wayward -it doesn’t mean you start giving fatwas of beheading him/her. They are humans for heaven’s sake -They have all right to live in this world just the way you are.Recommend

  • http://Peshawar Zarmeena Ikram Babar

    @Hira:
    I think you haven’t studied much on human rights -it goes without a saying that if two people are in a relationship (not a forceful relationship) with their complete consent, you are no one to object on that and you should mind your own business.

    As far as religion is concerned -its a very personal matter. So stop beating drums and telling people of how religious you are. Religion is a very personal matter, you don’t bring it everywhere. Religion also orders to put a parda on others sins, if you consider it a sin, you should better be concealing it rather than making a fuss about it.Recommend

  • yousaf

    @Author:- who is your audience and whom do you want to convey your message.This lesbian thing is a quite personal thing between you and your partner whoever she is.Why are you making such a fuss of the matter and dragging faith into it is beyond the point.You do what you wish in private ,because sex in to-days world has become more of a pleasure thing rather than what nature has made it for.Pleasure in fact is a “means” to achieve the reproduction of species but modern day world has made it an “end” to derive pleasure only,defeating what it is actually made for.You may feel to have been very bold for having written this article but I may point out that in very open societies too there is great opposition because of its adverse effects,So I suggest that even if you are very desperate for doing it keep it to yourself and keep shut. Recommend

  • XX

    Actually if you’re (the author) really lesbian then staying anonymous would actually be in your benefit even if disregarding the whole stigma thing – because if you reveal yourself then all that would do is repel all the girls from you and attract all the guys to you (at least the average guy in Pakistan), and I suppose that’s probably the opposite of what you want.Recommend

  • Anonymous2 (Writer of this post)

    It would be absolutely unfair if I don’t mention another inspiration that somehow invoked me to be vocal about my life as lesbian individual even remaining under the closet.

    Incredible Mangoes: It’s a personal blog handled by two Pakistani lesbians living abroad. http://incrediblemangoes.tumblr.com/

    It’s more of a personal journey diary that encompasses lives of women who love women, how they encounter different women and how they see multifarious layers inside lesbian relationships.

    Other than my deepest attachment with this blog, I have 3 major reasons for posting this,

    1: Lesbians do exist in Pakistan and fairly in large number.
    2: When there are blogs for heterosexual relationships, why not for us?
    3: I believe in community building and would like to see more lesbians connecting with each other.

    I have thousands of reasons for why I love it, and to all darling homophobics, try bringing your single lameness.

    P.S: This post is for fellow Pakistani lesbians, precisely.Recommend

  • http://memonammar.blogspot.com Ammar

    It’s clearly prohibited in religion, which ever you name it, be it – Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, etc. One can not segregate religion from his/her personal, social and economic life. Can someone elaborate the dark side of being LGBT?Recommend

  • http://memonammar.blogspot.com Ammar

    @misspink: Marriage with Ahl-e-Kitaab – Christian and Jews – is not prohibited by religion. Though it is undesirable by taken current situation into account, but it’s not forbidden in Islam. Recommend

  • http://zealforwriting.blogspot.com Sarah B. Haider

    @Britistani: I think some people need to get their eyeballs scanned and read the whole comment before commenting. I said, they can do whatever they want, but they shouldn’t make it to the streets begging for undue support in a country which would still consider them as an outcast. Their bedroom activities, or for anyone’s for that matter, need no empathy. Btw, if these people are “so courageous”, why do they have to remain anonymous. Isn’t that hypocritical to their own identity? Come on, if you have finally decided to declare your identity, then be ready to be blown up by mullahs, they won’t spare you. That is why I say, stay safe in your closets. Period.

    P.S. Read twice before calling me a proponent of mullahs and understand what I am trying to say instead of seeing the key words and jumping to conclusions! Peace.Recommend

  • Faiza

    .. I hope a day will come when people will just stop judging others. God Bless You.Recommend

  • Maximus

    @Farida:
    How do you know Omair is straight…? and what about you…? I cannot actually tell my orientation as I think it is personal choice and has to be very personal… why all are here to yell about their personal secrets… have your parents ever told you that they are straight? Just because they do not have to and your existance is proof of that…
    Why can’t lesbian and gays stay without yelling on their sexual orientation…? nobody wants to know it yaar…Recommend

  • saqib

    whoa, whoa, whoa hold on supporters. Homosexuality is a sin as per our religion and as per all the Ibrahimi religions, if not a crime in many societies. Whatever is the state of society in Pakistan and whatever is the % of following of the religion, the fact remains unchanged: homosexuality is a sin, nothing more noting less. Whatever the state of human rights in Pakistan, or any other country, nothing justifies being a gay or a lesbian as a legitimate act in the eyes of the religion. So unless you want to do away with the religion, there’s no true support for it. To all the supporters: today its homosexuality trying to debate a place in our society. Sadly, there’s enough support to change a few immature/vulnerable and weak minds, tomorrow it would be unnatural relations, and so on. Ever think where this road leads to??? Have a heart to call the wrong, wrong. Recommend

  • http://hammadmateen.wordpress.com Hammad A. Mateen

    Totally Agree with Sarah B. Haider
    I could not find a single reason why this post was written or even posted.
    As far as confessions are concerned, they do not mean propogation.
    I feel for those who are born with such tendencies and I feel the same for the writer.
    I am not a doctor but as much as I know, this happens due to a syndrome disorder and should therefore be considered a medical one as well (at least) by both the affected and the general public. Propagating it as something normal and within any religion’s perimeters in totally unacceptable. Recommend

  • Lone37

    Well good luck for your choice not that its something to be proud of but dont confuse yourself further by following religion at the same time or justifying yourself. I have personally seen gay scene in Lahore very closely (never participated it though) and i detested it then i hate it even more now. Leave religion aside for a moment but it is just unnatural. why all lesbians turn to a male for sperm donation? well if you have decided to challenge the nature then come up with your own inventions?? Sex primary goal is reproduction along with pleasure but if it turns into mere self gratification then you live in cognitive dissonance. Why we have been asked to control our desires because thats the hardest thing to do being human. Now we all have certain desires which are called fantasies and its best to avoid living some or all of those fantasies. You cant quote Western examples in everything we do here in Pakistan cuz they do not look at you for making their personal choices although they have been successful inspisring some in our society for sure. i dont understand the point of you coming out and posting your story which is not meant to be a public issue here on this forum anyway. If you have decided to take this path then keep doing by all means but do not come out in open with your sob story and keep ity hidden behind closed doors. Or do you see yourself as an icon of female sexuality and would like some credit for it?
    ???Recommend

  • Qamar

    @ Saqib

    but muslims like u should have all the freedom in western countries and islamic countries right?! then accept this facts too, muslims/islam are the root cause of the rise of extermism and intolerance society! PERIOD!Recommend

  • http://www.twitter.com/adnanjabbar Dr. Adnan

    I would just like to say that I’m ashamed of people who are not homosexual commenting on the post like they are in favor of LGBT with un-ethical responses. I myself a LGBT Activist for the last 6 years know how this whole thing is turning about. First I would like to say something to the haters please if you don’t have the courage to listen to an opinion made by one person then don’t comment second the people who are in favor of LGBT stop commenting like idiots. When you compare LGBT / Homosexuals with other example of species and then talk religion or what not you should know they we are being called as “ashraf-ul-makhlookat” meaning the species which have been promoted to the highest level. You can’t just compare the animals / organisms with the human kind. The whole idea here is to provide freedom of speech, you can’t just boo because someone has an opinion, that’s just it. Where as the religion is concerned “Hey everyone has to give the record of their life themselves”, no one has given you the right to intervene in other person’s life / values. And of-course to the people who are bringing in the religion well look into your own self first and then comment. I haven’t started the stories of Maulana’s raping their students, haven’t started of your interest in illegal things in life. If I would become super religious which I’m not then I would literally take you down by this single comment “everyone who is commenting has a NA-MEHRAM (Islamic Term for not allowed opp. sex) in their friend list how can you respond to that fact you damn facebooker’s so stop it already.

    and to @ET please stop bringing up this whole thing of LGBT we were happy before until you put a spark in this gasoline tank and now all you guys are doing is damage control. LGBT do not need exposure in this society. You have no idea what you guys at ET has started. I’m sorry to say that I’m just disappointed. Recommend

  • Faz

    @Qamar:
    Flawed argument! religion in east is relatively conservative set of principles as compared to liberal west, therefore religious freedom poses no harm to liberal ideas of scoeity; hence, its the liberals who must accomodate conservative ideas not vice-versa. Having said that, all those who associate themselves with liberalism for right or wrong reasons must learn to respect conservative values before denouncing them.Recommend

  • http://dinopak.wordpress.com Hasan

    While I respect your views and I don’t like to discriminate against anyone, there are certain claims you make which basically hit directly on the values I hold. I would like you to read this and reply if Possible.

    Why homosexuality is a choice.Recommend

  • goggi

    @Mustafa Hanif:
    For your kind information, the religion you follow, clearly states, that we are all the children of Adam and Hawa, we are all brothers and sisters, practically one family. So you know what that means?

    For your further information, marriage with first grade cousin is regarded as incest in western countries.Recommend

  • Shahid3

    Attitudes are changing in the West also: the new leader of the Conservative Party in Scotland is lesbian, which is interesting because their party used to have a reputation of being homophobic. 7 decades after Ismat Chughtai’s Lihaaf was published, things need to start moving in an intelligent direction in our part of the world as well.Recommend

  • http://tradersutra.com Hariharmani

    @goggi:
    I’m amazaed at your knowledge of “Ardha~naris’vara,even how to spell it.Your explaination is mostly accurate too.I have followed your comment earliar too,I know you live in France.It is very gratefying to know there are muslims ,other than Former President Mr Kalam.,who know and understand ‘Santanadharma’.We ,who are santanadharmi do very little to educate others,it is mainly due to the historical tradition,in that religion,that state mainly,knowedge and wisdom(YAhnna) is individual persuits and like salvation is individual ,and redeemption can not be helped along.I always differered on that concept.I more agree with Western concept of sharing and advancing fellow humans knowedge.That is one reason since 15th century west is way ahead,that is topic for another day.The philosophy of ‘Adwaitha’ is very agnostic and does not profess or dwells on the concept of god,yet it calls ‘the Unity of one”.Go to google and type out Adwaitha philosophy’ you will find pleasant surprises.Thought you will appreciate it.Recommend

  • AMCH

    order order order
    yeh sb kya ho raha hai?Recommend

  • Qamar

    @ Faz

    here u goes, u urself said: Having said that, all those who associate themselves with liberalism for right or wrong reasons must learn to respect conservative values before denouncing them.

    are u conservative people rspecting other values or other people’s lifestyle/thinking? NO! something with applying double standards…Recommend

  • amer nadeem

    why to be “Anonymous”……? if u deem that u r on right path…..”to be in hide is one of the elements of lies” as it’s said. if ur “Anonymous 2″, is there “Anonymous 1″…..Recommend

  • faizan

    Homosexuality is BORING. Recommend

  • naima

    @khurram:
    grow up and stop living ina small inflated bubble of youre own. Its time to burst it .Recommend

  • Lone Star

    @Faysal Mustafa:
    Strange society…where mullahs are raping kids in the mosques, where frustrated guys having sex with other guys, cause they’re not suppose to have that sort of relationship with women. Good Job ET for giving the voice to the muted people.Recommend

  • Faiza

    @Anonymous2 (Writer of this post):
    i want your personal email add. dont worry, i just want to talk. i will be thankfull if you will give me you add.Recommend

  • uzma

    @Shifty:
    Why are people comparing homosexuality with rape, serial killing etc? Homosexuality is like desiring mango icecream more than vanilla icecream. It does not make someone a ‘good’ person or ‘bad’ person, it just makes someone a person who likes strawberry icecream. And, no matter how much i dislike mango icecream, someone else’s preference is none of my business. Whether someone is attracted to something by choice or ‘naturally’ is IRRELEVANT.
    A better comparison to homosexuality would be religion. Most people are Muslims because they were born in Muslim families and are brainwashed into believing in Islam whereas some are Muslims because they studied Islam and chose to follow it. Regardless of whether they were brainwashed or actively chose to follow Islam, they should be allowed to practice their religion as long as they don’t hurt anyone.
    Killing or raping on the other hand, is an action that directly harms another person so it IS my business if someone tries to kill me and most people would agree that it makes someone ‘bad’. Recommend

  • Sidra

    Ok I live in America, near Miami no less, and even I am getting kind of disturbed by the Express Tribune. It seems like every week there is some article on people being lesbian, hijra, gay, etc in Pakistan. One cannot argue that it is purely genetic; even though people always claim that “ohhh they can’t help it”, even in twin studies, it is not a 100% concordance rate. In fact, Simon LeVay, who was the main scientist who started the “gay is genetic” hypothesis conceded later that the interpretations of his research were flawed. So I mean, if you want to be a lesbian, and not deal with the strict male/female roles in our society…that’s one thing….but i think it’s another to say one absolutely cannot help it. Recommend

  • Sarah B. Haider

    ET seems to be disregarding some of my comments, though they had NO objectionable or offensive element to them. So much for freedom of expression!!!Recommend

  • Qarib Mukhtar

    @Sarah B. Haider:
    @Asra :

    Its simple is it not? Why don’t legalize Sucide? Why not legalize prostitution? Why don’t legalize each and every low moral thing?

    I hate people saying Western Civilization , but there are many non-Muslim countries which classify Homosexuality as of low moral act : Here’s the list :

    Countries where homosexuality is illegal:
    (F) Denotes countries where its legal for females.
    AFRICAN COUNTRIES:
    ALGERIA
    ANGOLA
    BOTSWANA
    BURUNDI
    EGYPT
    LIBYA
    MOROCCO
    SUDAN
    TUNISIA
    NAMIBIA
    GAMBIA
    GUINEA
    MAURITANIA
    SENEGAL
    TOGO
    SAO TOME & PRINCIPE
    COMOROS
    DJIBOUTI
    ERITREA
    ETHIOPIA
    MOZAMBIQUE
    SOMALIA
    UGANDA
    TANZANIA
    LIBERIA
    SIERRA LEONE(F)
    LESOTHO(F)
    SWAZILAND(F)
    GHANA(F)
    NIGERIA(F)
    KENYA(F)
    MALAWI(F)
    MAURITIUS(F)
    SEYCHELLES(F)
    ZIMBABWE(F)
    ZAMBIA(F)
    CARRIBEAN ISLANDS:
    ANTIGUA & BARBUDA
    BARBADOS
    DOMINICA
    ST VINCENT & GRENADINES
    TRINIDAD & TOBAGO
    GRANADA(F)
    JAMAICA(F)
    SAINT KITTS & NEVIS(F)
    SAINT LUCIA(F)
    MIDDLE EAST:
    KUWAIT
    LEBANON
    OMAN
    QATAR
    SAUDI ARABIAI
    SYRIA
    UNITED ARAB EMIRATE
    IRAN
    YEMEN
    BAHRAIN
    PALESTINIAN TERRITORIES(GAZA) (F)
    ASIA/PACIFIC:
    AFGHANISTAN
    BANGLADESH
    BHUTAN
    MALDIVES
    PAKISTAN
    SRI LANKA
    PAPAU NEW GUINEA
    SOLOMON ISLANDS
    BRUNEI
    BURMA
    MALAYSIA
    WESTERN SAMOA
    UZBEKISTAN
    KIRIBATI(F)
    NAURU(F)
    PALAU(F)
    COOK ISLANDS(F)
    TONGA(F)
    TURKMENISTAN(F)
    TUVALU(F)
    SINGAPORE(F)
    SOUTH AMERICA:
    GUYANA(F)
    CENTRAL AMERICA:
    BELIZE(F)Recommend

  • Nolabel

    @Shifty:
    That was a very decent reply. I thank you for that. Articles are these make me sad. I don’t like the idea of others saying that this is okay. And I am proud of it. And also saying, I am religious and not an atheist. What does that even mean?

    I wish people would see the truth and have the courage to follow it. Because everyone, everyone is going through a test. And patience is the key. Of course, easy for me to say, but in the last ayat of surah albaqarah, it is stated that Allah, never burdens a person more than he can carry. Never.

    Peace be with you. And may the writer find peace too.Recommend

  • FXK

    Hello Anonymous, wow, it was really refreshing to read this, the conversation is brilliant and beautifully weaved, yet leaves me with that ‘fearful’ feeling at the end of it. It is very brave of you to write something like this. Hats off to Express Tribune staff for publishing it, and also please, Anonymous, I invite you to join me and the silent educated majority in mourning the low levels of literacy on religion and sexuality in Pakistan.
    I feel really bad for the people who are spouting homophobia and cultural shocks in their comments – goes to show the vast disparity between the quality, essence and clarity of ET and proves that only 22-23% audience of the Pakistani society is literate. I mean, I just don’t understand why people even make the effort to read what they don’t like and vomit judgments as if the articles are being written for them only or they are the only ones reading the mag. rolls eyes in disgustRecommend

  • Umair

    So now we get a platform to raise our voices for bisexuality which is not only disgusted in Islam in clear words but is really a shameful act. And to my bewilderment I live long to see a blog written supporting bisexuality in my country. This was the last thing I was expecting. People stop creating chaos and shameful scenarios naming them Enlightened Moderation. Get a life, all those who are talking of freedom of choice must have this in their mind that ADULTERY is also a freedom of choice so should it be legalized in Pakistan? Should Man and Woman be allowed to settle down because its freedom of choice. You guys are literally mocking the true essence of a Society by mixing two completely different cultures. I am sorry but that’s truly shameful and equally disgusting and I strongly condemn it! Recommend

  • Qamar

    @ Umari

    but people like u should have all the freedom from west to east? and then u guys weep when there is only a hijab ban in France, but at the same time u are snatching so many rights/happiness from non-muslims/atheist/gays/lesbians and forcing them to stick to islamic rules?

    Applying double standards huh? if minorities should not enjoy their freedom then call all ur islamic brothers and sisters back from Western countries where they are enjoying more freedom than the minorities living in islamic countries together!Recommend

  • http://www.saifsden.blogspot.com Saif Qazi

    I am conservative and I see this a blatant corruption of social and moral teachings, if not religious believes. I am amazed the kind of support homeosexual people are getting in a country that is first of all Muslim, and even if we forget that this is a Muslim country, how on earth can you forget that you are a Muslim? I mean it boggles my mind and I am in a state of shock because, one day a wrath of God may fall upon this country and for these reasons that we see ourselves on such forums, televisions and what not.

    Remember one thing, homosexuality is not natural and alot has been researched in science to prove that it is not natural. Secondly, if history is any indication to go by, then don’t forget those civilisations that practiced homosexuality were wiped out like dirt from this very world.

    I am appalled, aghast and shocked because whichever you look at it, I see the end very soon. For how long do we intend to test the patience of our Creator? It for us to decide.

    As of now, as a Muslim, I can warn for the worse and pray to Allah for the writer of this blog. A humble request to Express Tribune, please please please refrain from posting such blogs. The onus is on you also.

    http://www.saifsden.blogspot.comRecommend

  • Waqar

    @ Saif Qazi

    No one is forcing u to read blogs on Tribune. So u just go away! I prefer the lesbian author than people like u who are the root cause of intolerance and rise of extremism! (but at the same time, muslims must have all the freedom around the world)..Recommend

  • Sunshine

    Can’t speak on behalf of anyone else but, having gone through some very strong lesbian tendencies during my teenage, I can safely say that it is most definitely a choice. We will always have various urges or feelings but that doesn’t mean that we become a slave to our senses.

    I agree with a previous comment where people have justified their homosexual desires because ‘animals do it too’. Come on… we can do better than that… to compare ourselves to animals…? What difference would there be between us and them if we can’t think and analyze and understand and control ourselves? We are after all, Ashraf-ul-Makhluqaat, lest anyone disagree with me on that front.

    Human beings are the most complicated creations of God. They will always have different tendencies, sexual and/or otherwise and it is up to them to control themselves. All religions urge human beings to follow some semblance of self-control/will power. It is this same self control which helps abstain from adultery, rape, consuming intoxicants, lying, cheating, anger, gossip, etc.

    May Allah be with us all. Recommend

  • Vazim Malik

    To be very bitterly honest, the idea of lesbians arouses men as they picture themselves in a threesome. That is why they have come to the rescue. As for extending support, start off with the poor hijras on the street who are in real need of help because of their poverty instead of praising some gaytrosexuals.Recommend

  • http://www.mpvottawa.com Shahla Khan Salter

    Far away from you, here in Canada, sexual minorities are legally protected. But even here our youth is harassed as a result of profound homophobia in our schools. We must do all we can to allow everyone, including gays and lesbians to live free from discrimination and marginalization. Allah loves us all. Please join us. We are on facebook. Muslims for Progressive Values. May Allah swt protect this brave sister for speaking out. Recommend

  • Shahid3

    @Sidra, please read the 2nd paragraph of Uzma’s response to see why the nature vs. nurture debate, while of academic interest, is of little moral consequence. Don’t you think that dealing with the “strict male/female roles in our society” is a vestige of medieval times which needs to be reexamined, or do you think that it’s an eternal truth that needs to continue into the indefinite future? After all, had things remained as they were even 2 generations ago, you would still be in a zanaana and not going about your business in Miami coming into contact with namehram men whose hands touch yours at the grocery store checkout (I heard someone express fear of this very scenario once). In other words, the gay/straight issue should be an eye-opener for those brainwashed into binary ways of thinking that might have had some practical value in centuries past, but which need to be thought through if one is interested in living a mentally healthy and fruitful life in the 21st century.Recommend

  • Nadia

    @Shahla

    As long as it is an islamic country how can u expect freedom for all gays/lesbians without discrimination when Islam itself prohibits homosexuality?Recommend

  • Ali Kazmi

    I’m so happy that a lesbian’s finally written about her experiences as a homosexual Pakistani :)

    Dear blogger, I thank you for sharing your experiences. I hope you know that there are many lesbians in Pakistan. I know some lesbians who grew up thinking that they would never meet other lesbians with whom they could share their experiences, but they were very wrong. There are thousands of gay and trans men and women in Pakistan. I’m a gay man myself and I know lots of gay and trans men and women. We needn’t be alone.Recommend

  • addy

    I guess then people who prefer molesting under age children should also have rights to protect there naturally sick state of mind …..how can a person feel safe in a society where gays and lesbians roam when the predator is so un expected ….I would like to appreciate ET’s unintentional effort to give us awareness of such a pest ……From the islamic prespective death shall provide all answers.Recommend

  • misspink

    Agree with sunshine and vizam more or less (other than the part about choosing one’s sexuality because that is something there’s no consensus on so I don’t have any empirical data to prove either way nor am I sure about how things like this come about). Still believe tendencies and temptations can be overcome- all part of our test if you believe so.
    Also finding it interesting reading all the comments here and kind of agree there are more important issues that could really do with some attention. Then again everyone has their own views on subjects they consider note worthy.
    Bottom line is, do what you want, but if religion considers it wrong, then religiously speaking you can’t say it’s right. Legally you may someday be able to get your way, but that still doesn’t mean it’s okay in a religious sense. Just saying, keep the two separate. For example do I have an issue with gay marriage? Couldn’t care less. But do I think gay marriages should be allowed in religious institutions like churches? Nope, because that’s just messing with religion. Altho Christianity has undergone lots of changes, Islam hasn’t and won’t. So bite the bullet and accept that even if Muslims don’t have an issue with your sexual preferences, most will if you try to bring religion into it. At the end of the day, it is between you and God, so leave it for then but do realize that religion’s basic principles can’t be scrapped if you take it seriously. Otherwise we wouldn’t know what the basic guidelines were because each would make their own. Cheers n I seriously wish you all the best in finding your way, whatever that may be. Recommend

  • Anna

    Kudos to the writer for her bravery for coming out in public. To all the haters:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyx6JDQCslE&ob=av3eRecommend

  • saqib

    @Qamar:
    dear friend, i never support intolerance and hardlinerism, and yes, muslims are mainly being accused of extremism etc. Ok think for an instance that we support what writer intends us to support. Would you, just for an instance, tolerate lesbianism if someone at your home intends indulging in it and also asks others for supporting it? ask yourself, would you allow any girl at home?? I think the simple answer is a big NO, no matter how moderate or religious you are, and to what extent you follow religion. How to allow or support anything forbidden into the society once we are not ready to allow it into our homes? I think it is being more extremists and hypocrites than the actual harliners.
    About your muslims-being-extremists, i think you are a victim to the negative propaganda carried out around the globe by others against muslims. extremists are in every religion with Islam as o exception. Christian extremists have banned scarfs in Europe and even murdered an innocent muslin girl there with no punishment awarded to the offended. Likewise are Hindus and Jews. Dont just think that muslims are the only extremists, they are everywhere. its just that you need to feel proud to be the follower of the most tolerant and natural religion on the earth.Recommend

  • saqib

    @Qamar:
    I would be the most happy person on earth to see you shedding away the double standards and letting the charity begin at your vicinity (hope u know what i mean). Until that time, you are also having double standards and low moral courage and blah blah blah!Recommend

  • Hammad

    Being a religious person, i feel, the writer must think for a while whether she can face the God at the day judgement? if her answer is “yes” then i can just pray for her otherwise, if anser is “no” then she has to pray to God for her peace.Recommend

  • Areesha Bilal

    A close friend of mine is homosexual and even though it is a little weird for me, I’ve learned to accept it and accept him.

    I understand the rejection you feel because he also feels rejected. I’m not in favour of homosexuality, but if that’s your decision, then I also support you.

    The road you’re taking is a tough one, but if you’ve lasted this long, then I’m sure you will succeed in the future. Good luck to you.Recommend

  • Adeel Suhail

    We all have good and bad habits, improving or changing them for the blessing of Allah should be our aim. Islam & Ouran understands human nature, how they function, how they react to things etc. Therefore there are two aspects to this. 1) Islam does not allow affairs before marriage. Whether its b/w oppo sex or same sex because it can lead to many diseases, family problems etc. Islam way of teaching is it ask you to not go near things which can lead you to fall in these traps. As far as you are concern thing about what will happen if this becomes a common practice is Islam. Muslim population will become stop growing. Muslims have the largest population in the world will no longer be there. The biggest asset muslim have in this world is human resource. Look at Iraq & Afghanistan why USA are still struggling to cope up with them despite the largest weapon and technology is because of muslim human resource.

    It great you accept this & i hope you study lot more about it in light of Islam. May Allah guide us all to right path. AmeenRecommend

  • Umair

    Just a quick reality check for all the ‘Super Liberals’ out there, suppose, one of your parents (mother or father … please choose carefully) stand up to you tomorrow and the whole family and just for the sake of you know, liberalism and open expression , reveal to you that they have been homosexuals their whole life and whatever they have done was a compromise due to society and now they can’t help it anymore and thus they are an open gay/lesbian.

    hmmmm, not so cool right???…
    but hey!!.. freedom of sexuality… ahhh dad/mom… we still love you ! kissesRecommend

  • ali

    Islam in its essence does not forces everyone to obey its moral and social values.it only asks its followers to follow a certain code of ethics and moral values.if any one says that i am a Muslim and a homosexual at same time in my opinion he is just kidding himself.if you say you are Muslim then why are you not following Islam. if you do not like teachings of Islam and its moral values or if you like it teachings and you cannot follow them out of your own desires and lust then please be brave enough to come forward and declare that you do not want to be a muslim anymore.Recommend

  • Raja Islam

    @Maryam:
    Who knows what is right. Why bring religion into every discussion? This is a form of escapism and self righteousness. Recommend

  • Mister

    Funny to read the comments of the “tolerance” muslims who condemn the authors thinking/choice but the very same muslims demands rights and freedom from east to west. Muslims have more rights and freedom than non-muslims in islamic countries..
    and yes the non-islamic countries made a tolerance society for every people of every walk of life while islamic countries are not tolerance against non-muslims/liberals/atheist etc..Recommend

  • Naveed Salman

    So far no Muslim has given any solution to the problem, what should a Gay or Lesbian do, except giving the reference from scriptures that homosexuality is a forbidden sin.
    If you can’t find a viable solution or cure (if you think this is a disease) for homosexuality, then you have no right to speak against the rights of homosexuals.
    What if a non-Muslim, say that failure to give the rights to homosexuals stands as one of the evidence that your religion is false and incomplete?? Then will you reconsider the interpretation of scriptures, followed by an apologetic explanation?? Recommend

  • Usman Zakir

    as human beings we are complex and have various forms of desires, wants, needs and ofcourse perspectives …… however we need guidance to adhere to since we are so varied, and religion , particularly islam provides this guidance so that we can do what is BEST for us not do what FEELS RIGHT , that is why we have the qur’an and sunnah. i’m sorry you have to go through this , many people have , and just like in every situation things will get better with effort and time. if these feelings weren’t there then why do you think that men are not allowed to uncover infront of other men and women not allowed to uncover infront of other women ? the prophet (pbuh) said that no two men should lie under the same sheet. these feelings may be there, some may have more than others due to ‘experiences’ or ‘environment’ but we have to seek what is BEST for us and pray that we find peace in that as we confess to God that we want to find peace in whats best for us , so open the doors to it ! Goodluck ! Respect for you , prayers for you ! Recommend

  • A@SIM

    Dear All,

    Just want to answer your Question by asking you a question What we will do If”

    Halal Animals Become Lesbian/Gay and they do not mate and give birth to Babies?What we will eat in Lunch and Dinner?

    What will happen when Fruit/Vegetable producing Plants become Homo than what we will eat?

    Iam Sorry to say and no hard feelings that what would have happened if your parents were gay or lesbian than we wont be writing on this blog!

    So Allah make us to raise the quantity of True muslims not lesbians and gays who believe in nothing but SEX.if you have time and if you are not Non Muslim than Go read our Hazrat LUT (A.S) and what happened to his Nation who refused to accept the teachings of Allah delivered to them VIA Hazrat LUT(A.S) and continue to stay as Lesbian and Gay.Where are they Now?

    Please Do replyRecommend

  • Kashif Qamar

    I am not being an orthodox, I have very simple and clear view of Islam. Most of the time its a boolean output of most of the questions either Yes or No, and I often find people finding and stuck whats between Yes and No.

    Are you Muslim? Yes or No, if No, then follow your religion, if Yes then follow Islam. Follow means to follow. Every now and then I find people brag about freedom and democracy, in Islam, there is no freedom, being muslim you shall submit/surrender all your wishes/whimes/desires against the will of God, simple, inspite of the FACT that they are NATURAL. I am not advocating and blasphemy killing, honor killing and marrying girls with Quran, I am certainly against them. When we talk of will of God, we refer book of God. I am not very good at it, that I can give refences (Later I intend to share the excerps with you all), but one thing I know that “sutter” (area of skin, should not be exposed to, with certain people). accroding to my limited knowledge, the sutter of women should not even be exposed to the other freind/women, rest of activities (lesbain love) is then out of question. Even though, these feelings are very natural and basic instincts, I am not saying they are not, but once we say O God we surrender ourselves to you, then we must follow what God wants us too. The urge to make love is natural, and we feel it right from the day when our such feelings become mature, but we control it untill we are supposed to. Recommend

  • inteleKtual

    Hats off to you for putting it out there
    @EmKay:
    read the comments and u ill realize y waz it fruitfull to publish it here there are still haters and fundamentalists in the English Speaking and so called learned crowd.
    @All those comparing homosexuality to incest and all other wrongs plz explain to me how are these similar.Also irrelevant references about marriage and controlling desires outside of it ! I didnt knw gay marriages have been legalized in our part ov da world are they ? if not how ur comments apply to her situation?? not having sex with mom or sis is in respect of that relationship that is already there how can you relate it to not having sex at all in ur whole freakin life…!!
    If God has made a str8 person there is a accepted way for dem to live out there desires and life !
    Gays are also just demanding that same way.
    and are you religious fanatics ready to give non-Muslim gays the freedom ov lifestyle??
    If not den religion is not da point nw is it ??Recommend

  • Naveed Salman

    @A@SIM
    .
    Just want to answer your Question by asking you a question What we will do If”
    Halal Animals Become Lesbian/Gay and they do not mate and give birth to Babies?What we will eat in Lunch and Dinner?

    .
    Firstly it is extremely improbable that future generation of species become overwhelmingly homosexual and find mating uninteresting, evolution strongly favors mating. Secondly we are evolved in such a way that number of straights will always heavily outnumber homosexuals.
    Now coming to your question, impotent/infertile people can’t produce babies too, so does that mean human race will end? If you accept impotent people as normal people then why can’t you accept homosexuals? If allowing homosexual marriages will not produce more babies, then stopping then won’t either. So what did you gained by stopping gay marriages except making their life miserable.
    .
    .
    Iam Sorry to say and no hard feelings that what would have happened if your parents were gay or lesbian than we wont be writing on this blog!
    .
    This is the most lame argument. What if our parents were impotent? Again the same answer, they wouldn’t have been our parents then in the first place.
    But can you answer who is to be blamed when such parents produce gay/lesbian babies? Will you blame the straight parents for giving birth to them, or Allah for making them homosexual? Think over this.Recommend

  • A@SIM

    @Naveed: God(Allah) Made you Human Being and gives you Mind to Think Straight not to think if you cant produce Babies you become Gay or Lesbian so what i am getting from your point as you accept the reality that there will always be more straight pple will live in the world so we should allow ppl to be Gay or Lesbian what kind of a Reason That is?:its just like that ppl will keep on producing babies so one should keep on shooting ppl dead as one wants to do what he likes.

    Also Impotent ppl have impotency by birth its not Man Made where as being Gay or Lesbian is totally Man Made Approach No Parents give Birth to Lesbian or Gay they Try there level best to provide their child best in life but one who thinks whats behind the Wall that creates the problem.Human Mind can lead you to Unlimited Thinking Now you are saying Being homo is Right next you will say Getting Intimated with animals and your own Siblings is right too?
    Allah Makes Man Human Perfect but thats why he puts you in this world to prove yourself True Muslim.

    Always keep this thing in Mind No Thing Will Satisfy you Until It has Some Outcome and Gays and Lesbian Can Never Stay Along Longer because they get fed up with there Relationship and they Move on to Find Another Partner to See Some Thing Else in Life.Recommend

  • Muhammad Rizwan Malik

    Islam has banned it. Pakistani law doesn’t allow it. So, whats the fuss about? Ur questioning our religious beliefs, but guess what!? u cant change them! Just because two people engage in a mutual activity with consent doesn’t mean that the state cant interfere or it doesn’t affect the society. Ur argument is faulty, to start with homosexuality is indeed a psychiatric/psychological disorder. If some Pakistani Muslims dont follow the law or dont do what Islam asks them to do, it is no basis for u to use it as argument to generalize all the other peaceful and religious Pakistanis. Recommend

  • http://www.youthinvent.com Aniee Qasim from Lahore

    HELLO……….I am also LESBIAN , but we have so many problems here to face, Recommend

  • Qasim Muneer

    @Bobster:
    Really? This is not a joke. What do you think about gay men, then? Recommend

  • goldriver

    @Jawad Khan:
    Fantastic reply, you poured my mind out man Recommend

  • tangdayi

    @Jawad Khan: The more you inculcate the lies promoted about homosexuality using the Lut story, the more ignorant you become. Lut story has nothing to do with homosexuality as a sexual orientation. It has to do with straight men who raped other men. Homosexuals do not gang rape men, for their sexual relationships are consensual, not forced as indicated in Quran. Also, it shows you do not know Arabic either, for the comments are made to the those men and women of Sodom and not all men and women in the world. Your penis and vagina “dog and pony” circus act is not only for procreation, but for pleasure too…if you were right about what you think then why would older people want to marry??? Oh, I know, so they can have babies at the ripe age of 80 and 85, right!!! Use your brains and not your loins to figure out what Quranic messages implies for straight folks and gay folks–you have to see it from both sides of the equation–otherwise, you’re being hegemonic and wish to impose your views on others–but in your country where ignorance runs rampant, where false meanings of what Islam means killing those who you do not understand, this is what can you expect from the uneducated–NOTHING!!!.Recommend

  • NK

    Honestly- its all because of the over political-correctness forced down our throats everyday. You say a single thing that is SLIGHTLY anti-semetic (without any intention) and you immediately get labelled as some sort of neo-nazi.

    Homosexuality is a state-of-mind, or even a mental disease. Its been over-glorified by celebrities and the west- but other UNNATURAL mental apathies can include everything from pedophilia to necrophila- in short everyone can justify their sexual motives…. if you support homosexuality then dont say anything to those pedophiles out there- they can probably justify their own wants too.

    And for all the people supporting this…yes TV may have taught you that its COOL to be liberal and have a gay best friend or something– but how many of you would be chilled out if your brother, sister, mother, father or child announced he was gay??Recommend

  • maria

    @Sarah B. Haider:
    failed try at being sarcastic
    n u r the typical kinda person she was refering to n her articleRecommend

  • maria

    a simple thing if we learn we make ours as well as others lives much better that ” we r here to act,not to judge anyone………….it is not our job….just do n live ur life as u think is the best possible way n leave the judging part to THE ONE whose job it is…….HE knows what HE created ”
    P.S. if someone doesnt agree with u,it aint necessary that he is wrong\abnormal\deviated\cursed\doomed\inferior to u………in his/her mind he can think the very same for u tooRecommend

  • Ali

    I think no muslim will deny that homosexuality is condemned in Islam, and has been mentioned in the bible and torah as well through the story of Town of Sodom, where Prophet Lut. Lot of homosexuals try to find a way that religion will accept them, some way to change the religion to accept them. I think if you study Islam, homosexuality is still a major sin and the debate among the scholars is not so much of its being a sin but rather the punishment the ppl deserve but that is a legal thing. But the issue that is facing muslims all over the world when they are confronted with homosexuality is how to deal with it. I am more supportive of opinions of scholars like tariq ramadan and hamza yusuf, who say that you have to remember that before the person is a homosexual they are human being and they have the right to dignity and respect just like any other. Everyone has a challenge in there life, and for some it can be to deal with their odd sexuality or sexual preferences. No one said its easy..but i am not in favor of the western approach of accepting everything is fine and live and let live..this individualism has been the cause of the moral decline in that society. and please i am not sure why but liberal securalist always try to make the west look like this amazing example for the rest of the world, yet they are oblivious themselves about the ground realities. In Pakistan and many other muslim nation fall short on treating human with respect and dignity, if they can kill someone for being from a different sect, then just think about how they will deal with a homosexual. Its ignorance. However, muslim societies.aka religious societies ( including christian.jewish) dont support homosexuality and is considered sinful behavior/taboo. However there is homosexual pop. everywhere, just more under the radar and the gov would care if u practise w.e u do in ur home behind lcose doors, but the moment u display it, u will be subject to penalties etc. If ur seeking apologies, that wouldnt happen, if ur seeking amendment in the religion that wont happen, but if ur seeking some sort of human rights, hopefully in more secular countries u might have a better chance. But i urge you of not to just accept this as a part of u yet,maybe this is ur personal jihad aka struggle, and if you do have faith in Allah, He will surely help you through ur trial and tribulations. But remember ur company and ur activites have a direct effect on ur lifestyle, choices and behavior and psychology. all the above factors will impact ur decision and ur struggle and if you hang out with the wrong ppl/places/ activities, the struggle will only become harder and u will try to opt for the easy way out…I pray and wish u the best in ur journey…Recommend

  • Syed Fakhir

    Really great article.
    Let the people live their lives the way they want them to live.
    i support gay and Lesbian rights in Pakistan.Recommend

  • Syed Fakhir

    Please watch this video to get more info about what Muslim Gays and Lesbians go through. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f80pNyoL6ARecommend

  • http://www.whyiamblamedifiamgay.com Sam

    Hi,

    I just was amazed to see that this debate is being run publicly,

    first question you never have choice to be born as straight or homo. or do you have???
    now its like i know peoples homo and pretending and living a covered life, i cannot openly say i am homo. because i a m afraid of my family’s reputation and somewhere my own.

    i salute peoples who are doing so. need to know if homos are by choice why the hell they are being such moron, why they are facing hatred.

    in todays world every 8th Pakistani bachelor do a homo thing, doesn’t matter if they are or not
    they do homo thing in madressa’h, Mosque and try to find other possible places to do such acts.

    my question is if i hide my inner truth, my fantasies and secret. and marry a girl will that be ok for all pakis and Muslims ??

    well one thing for sure i condemn horniness and respect the ideology of not to promote nudism. i think i am a dark face of Pakistani and will be ashamed of my self or the one who made me this……..Recommend

  • Dx

    @Shifty:
    plus the fact that there is substantial evidence that homosexuality is an amygdala disorder.

    woman, you should visit be on your way to a medical facility rather than reading this comment. Recommend

  • Naveed Salman

    @ A@SIM
    .
    ..being Gay or Lesbian is totally Man Made Approach No Parents give Birth to Lesbian or Gay
    .

    If being Gay and Lesbian would have been a man made approach, then no one would choose to become a Gay or a Lesbian, as no one willingly wants to become a person whom society hates.
    And if you think that becoming a Gay and Lesbian is a choice then why don’t you try to become a Gay for one day only. I am sure you will fail and you can never ever become a Gay, because homosexuality is not a choice.Recommend

  • http://rml_90@ymail.com R.B

    Who’s next?

    An Incestor Blogger !!???Recommend

  • Johnny

    Faith is something personal. No one else is responsible for your actions but yourself. In Pakistan, people are too worried about what their other fellow citizens believe and want to rub their noses into other people’s affairs.

    You have the right to choose and no has the right to objecto to that. Dont worry about all these ‘righteous’ hypocrites who think they have already achieved salvation. Recommend

  • Sohan Rehman

    Being a psychiatrist I would suggest you to get a girlish type boy as a first step of self treatment. Then gradually come to the real ones. I know it’ll be very difficult for you but you are supposed to manage it somehow. (Obviously it’s easier than being a Taboo in society) Be a bit more brave as you are now. You’ll definitely come out of this. I know that being a lesbian is not only about seeking for sex all the time. But if you follow me you’ll definitely convert to a normal and heterosexual person.
    If you are a genuine lesbian then you’ll recover by the first attempt. And if you are a lesbian just for sake of being different in society and to be a new trend setter, then you better keep quiet. Call your loved one to your home and secretly do whatever you want, and be happy. Don’t try to raise this as a burning issue. Because actually it’s not!Recommend

  • Ussama

    WESTRENISATION -_-Recommend

  • Sarah B. Haider

    @maria: Sarcasm needs some good digestive abilities.Recommend

  • ALTAF HUSSAIN

    @Sarah B. Haider:
    i have not read all the comments , i would say that you can be homo in your private times .. we all are unknown of what will be gonna happen to us at the judgement day .. but bringing your ab-normality as you have accepted ..in front of world is not a good thing .. hainaRecommend

  • M.A

    is it a right!?
    by the way of our Religion Islam its totally wrong … !
    wrong means wrong in any situation !!!Recommend