10 types of medical students you’ll come across in med school

I have realised that every medical school has a funny mixture of personalities and that’s what makes it entertaining.

Medical students are a completely different cohort of students. Thought to be among the most studious students throughout the world, they are much more than that. As I complete four years on my journey to become a doctor, I have realised that every medical school has a funny mixture of personalities and that’s what makes the long years of studies more entertaining.

The specific traits present in this breed of human beings are unlikely to be found in other students. Here, I present ten types of students commonly found in medical schools. You can choose to love them, love to hate them, or plainly – hate them.

1.The overly academic

This subspecies is all work and no play. The overly academic remembers every word of every line of every paragraph of the book. They are in a faithful relationship with a 4.0 GPA. They have no social media accounts and don’t attend parties because it wastes their time. They often have weak general knowledge because reading newspapers or watching TV also wastes their precious time. They breathe medicine, talk medicine, and vomit medicine. They don’t possess close friends except their best friend “robbins”. They are the highest scorers but often the least interesting of all personalities.

2. The doubtful admission

This subspecies is the exact opposite of the overly academic. They don’t like attending classes and are more interested in their myriad of extracurricular activities. They are easily recognised by their obvious lack of medical knowledge. Their stupid questions like “Yaar yai Liver hai ya Lung” (Is this the Liver or the Lung?) will make you wonder how they landed in medical school in the first place. They are frequently overheard saying “Parhne pe aon toh to top kar lun par chorh yaaar” (If I put my mind to studying, I can ace my exams. But forget it, dude). And you can’t help but feel sorry for their future victim patients.

3. The moaner

This student has congenitally overactive lacrimation system. They cry at the drop of a hat. Always found complaining and crying about the burden of studies, the upcoming exams, their low scores, and keep spreading the tension to everyone surrounding them. If crying was a job, this person would be a billionaire.

4. The celebrity

Also known as the Papa’s (spoiled) Princess, this subspecies is recognised by her glamorous outfits, latest iPhone and perfect make-up. She embraces the idea that every rishta aunty is looking for a Doctor bahu. Their social media selfies will make you develop an inferiority complex. They’re regularly found flaunting their Marc Jacobs handbag and gossiping about Nishat Linen and Asim Jofa.

5. The multi-talented

These are the versatile students of medical universities. They have married medicine but are also in a halal relationship with another passion/hobby. They are the singers, the dancers, the writers and the photographers. They are a cool group of people and the life of social events.

6. The juvenile

This giggly-goo chuckles at almost everything, embarrasses himself and everyone around.  For example:

*Anatomy of the breast*

“hee hee hee”

*Urinary Catheterisation*

“hee hee hee”

*Digital rectal examination*

“hee hee hee”

They also have a tendency to ask silly questions due to which they’re frequently insulted by the professors. They are the ones in the most need of a Bioethics and Behavioural science class.

7. The event organisers

These are some of the famous (or notorious) people at university. Their posts will keep your Facebook newsfeed ticking over with reminders about the biggest event in the history that is going to be organised by them. Once the event is over, they will fill your newsfeed with #SuccessfulEvent statuses. They have contacts with almost everyone from the caterers to the stage decorators to the DJ wale babus. Classically they are divided into two types:

Physiological Organisers: They are nice people. They organise events for a good cause and put their efforts to make it up to the expectations of the audience.

Pathological Organisers: They just want to earn money.

8. The sensitive soul

Having a congenitally high vasovagal response, this student has a tendency to faint and fall even before the surgery patient on general anaesthesia becomes unconscious. They are pathologically afraid of blood and bodily fluids. Classic triad of shaky hands, welling tears, and panic.

9. The enthusiast

This student decided to become a doctor during his/her intrauterine life. They just LOVE medicine. Everything in medical school amuses them and their social media statuses are also proof of their romantic relationship with medicine. Often overheard saying:

“Oh my god! I touched a patient today.”

“So we’re going to start wards now? Yahoo!”

10. The sane one

Although rare, these types of students also exist in the medical schools. They study regularly and therefore, are not overburdened during exams. They are well rounded and fun to be around. They maintain a balance between studies, extracurricular activities and their relationships very intelligently. They have a good number of friends and are always happy to help. And yes, they can get straight A’s and distinctions too!