(Un)quotable quotes from Pakistan’s best

Published: October 21, 2010

The president's offer to give Sarah Palin a hug was repeated in the media for days to come.

They’re supposed to be good orators, but our orators just can’t avoid bloopers.

It’s only after they have made statements in front of the media that politicians realize what blunders they have made.

Often, they end up saying something vague which can be easily distorted.

The “official statement” from their party, blaming the media for misquoting their noble thoughts, quickly comes to their rescue.  Sometimes, they wash their hands of the whole affair by refusing to acknowledge ‘misquotations’ as their own.

More often than not, politicians intentionally issue statements to stir controversy, which ends with promises not to continue the war of words. This tactic is also used to divert public attention from more pressing issues.

Below are few golden quotations from our elected leaders. These quotes are memorable not because they were powerful, but simply because they sounded hilarious coming out of politcians’ mouths. Living in an entertainment-starved country like Pakistan, the media gives maximum attention to crazy statements and leaves the nation amused until another quote pops up.

  • We in the PML-N opposed Musharraf’s policies and rejected dictation from abroad. If the Taliban are also fighting for the same cause, then they should not carry out acts of terror in Punjab. Punjab Chief Minister, Shahbaz Sharif
  • You must understand the environment in Pakistan. This has become a moneymaking concern. A lot of people say if you want to go abroad and get a visa for Canada or citizenship and be a millionaire, get yourself raped. Former President General Pervez Musharraf
  • I apologise to the departed soul of the Sikh ruler (Ranjit Singh), for frequently quoting his name in meetings for the wrong reasons. I was wrong. Ranjit (Singh) was a great administrator of Punjab. Leader of Opposition, Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan
  • Look, you will soon see Shaukat Aziz ditching General Musharraf and joining the political leadership of the opposition parties. Chief, PML N, Nawaz Sharif
  • How did a person, who used to sell tickets at the Bambino cinema in Karachi, reach the Surrey Palace and became richer than Queen Elizabeth before his ascendancy to the presidency? It is a million-dollar question that only the PPP top leader has to answer. Spokesman Pakistan Muslim League N, Siddiqul Farooq
tanzeel.ahmad

Tanzeel Ahmad

A UAE based marketing professional who is interested in politics and cultural issues. He blogs at www.tanzeel.wordpress.com

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • http://hammadmateen.wordpress.com Hammad Abdul Mateen

    Good one!
    Thoroughly enjoyed reading it.Recommend

  • http://www.tanzeel.wordpress.com Tanzeel
  • sarah.elahi

    @Tanzeel:
    thanks for the link. due to technical errors, some of the points weren’t showing up correctly in our version.Recommend

  • Rabia Mazhar

    hahaha…awesome stuff from Tanzeel, Well done! :DRecommend

  • Smanz

    Palin was never the US Vice President but only the nominee put up front by Presidential Candidate McCain….Recommend

  • http://www.tanzeel.wordpress.com Tanzeel

    No problem Sarah, thanks for publishing anyway.Recommend

  • http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/author/13/syed-ali/ S. Ali Raza

    I don’t think President Zardari knows that now we have “Dengue” mosquitoes in Jail ;) Things change, but some will never..

    Great post Tanzeel :)Recommend

  • Masuud Qazi

    You missed out 3 of the most infamous and important ones:

    Musharraf’s ever famous punch gesture in Pindi along with the words: “Whatever has happened in Karachi today, is power of the people on display.” (On 12th May 07′, 40 odd dead in Karachi).
    Musharraf in his Spiegel interview: “That is wrong, absolutely wrong. Mr. Khan is a characterless man.” (On Abdul Qadeer Khan).
    Zardari: “Even Quaid-e-Azam wasn’t a graduate.”
    Recommend

  • Sarah Malik

    Good one Tanzeel, thnx for sharing something comical !!!! enjoyed :)Recommend

  • Maryam

    hahaha….enjoyed it :)Recommend

  • JahanZeb Haq

    creative work.Recommend

  • http://sadaf-fayyaz.blogspot.com/ SadafFayyaz

    nice work………………;-)Recommend

  • KM

    The picture itself is a quote, Recommend

  • Zubair

    Yesterday, when I asked Khwaja Imran Nazir for a lift, he was listening to Munni Badnam, an Indian song, in his car. MPA Punjab Assembly, Hassan Murtaza

    BEST!Recommend

  • http://ahandfulofdust.wordpress.com/ Mariam

    LOL – good collection of classic quotes from our political LEADERS, which are no doubt “the fruits of democracy” : DRecommend

  • Shahid

    Beautifully described!Recommend

  • http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Jahanzaib-Haque/149352001744540?ref=ts Jahanzaib Haque

    thumbs up

    Recommend

  • http://awgilani.wordpress.com Syed Abdul Wahab Gilani

    @Tanzeel: Kool dude.
    Rana Sanaullah and the Club will be most happy to make into this list :DRecommend

  • Hussain

    boy boy boy……I would say fantastic idea it is, enjoyed each and every quote
    I’m lovin’ this piece : DRecommend

  • http://www.alphaza.blogspot.com Murtaza Ali Jafri

    Supremely entertaining. Great Job!Recommend

  • http://syedaabidabokhari.wordpress.com/ The Only Normal Person Here.

    hahahahhahahahah That’s one of the BESTEST reads. I can see the amount of effort and time you have put in. And well I salute your memory to have remembered such long lists of faux pas quotes. This one is going right in my fav write-ups.

    This post deserves a place which is above than this blog section. Recommend

  • http://grsalam.wordpress.com Ghausia

    I love Musharraf’s quote about the rape thing. I mean really, forget marrying a doctor or someone settled abroad, all I need to do is give up one thing lol. You forgot to add the quote that he considers Lashkar-e-Taiba to be freedom fighters. He’s certainly doing a bangup job of endearing himself to the public.

    Oh and this;

    The MQM will openly support the patriotic generals if they take any martial law-type action against corrupt politicians and feudal lords. Muttahida Qaumi Movement chief Altaf Hussain*

    Yes and they’ll start by taking action against every MQM bully in the country. Recommend

  • R

    EXCELLENT read!!Recommend

  • Humanity

    @Ghausia: “all I need to do is give up one thing lol
    Do you realize how demeaning this comment is to a rape victim? Would you lol, if God forbid, this horrendous thing was done to you?

    Instead of the mindless ‘like‘, lol and thumbs up, the nation should be crying of shame and sorrow.

    Leaders are only a reflection of the people. The fact that people find this stuff funny is pathetic! Recommend

  • http://umpires.com Umpire

    Ghausia just got pwndRecommend

  • Ahmed

    Fully agreed with HUMANITY !Recommend

  • mario

    NICE :)Recommend

  • http://hammadmateen.wordpress.com Hammad Abdul Mateen

    @Humanity:
    Agreed.

    No offense to Ghausia. It’s definitely not her fault.

    This is just a reflection of how enlightened moderation has effected minds of our youth. The value of respect and dignity is getting lost somewhere and we’re not bothered about finding out where.Recommend

  • Live and learn

    @Humanity: Thank goodness for your perspective.Recommend

  • IZ

    A good collection of foolish quotes, but just one question – whats up with the Ranjit Singh quote? He was a good administrator after all…Recommend

  • http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/author/265/haris-masood-zubairi/ Haris Masood Zuberi

    Great work compiling this Tanzeel.

    Since our politicians are prone to deliver such gems at a rapid rate higher than a burst of MG fire, I’d look forward to updates to this very useful database of wisdom from representatives of our 180 million suffering souls. Recommend

  • http://www.tribune.com.pk Vijay

    Tanzeel You have done a marvelous job I am really inspired with your work. I read the quote on your personal blog in which Musharraf claims thousands of fans on his facebook page, I am appalled to see Mr. Musharraf, a former President boasting his performance like a school kid. Recommend

  • Rabia

    @Ghausia: I wont even comment on the insenstive rape comment. But do you really need to marry someone to go abroad? If going abroad is something you want why not work hard and find a job abroad yourself. Recommend

  • http://ibteda.wordpress.com/ Sadaf Baig

    Let me add the latest gem by Zulfiqar MIrza.
    After meeting and making up with Shahi Syed and before going off to meet MQM leadership – “Aik dulhan shadi kay liye tayyar hai, doosri kay pass ja raha hon!” Recommend

  • Farrukh Sheharyar

    Really rocking dude…… ;)Recommend

  • http://ykhan.wordpress.com Yasserr

    gem of the post, but i regret the statements :-)

    Ranasanaullah beat the hell out of everyone. Yesterday Mr.Bilour from ANP made another shocking one about Pakhtuns, which i even don’t want to quote here :)Recommend

  • ranj8

    (I apologise to the departed soul of the Sikh ruler (Ranjit Singh), for frequently quoting his name in meetings for the wrong reasons. I was wrong. Ranjit (Singh) was a great administrator of Punjab. Leader of Opposition, Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan)
    Thats not funny. Is it? I am pleasantly surprised he said these words.Recommend

  • Ghausia

    Um, woops. Totally my bad everyone, this is why I shouldn’t comment here on zero sleep and a full day at uni. I meant to mock the statement that Musharraf made, as well as the concept of marriage that we have(There’s a blog that was posted today on the subject I believe, I have it open in another tab.)

    I’m so sorry for coming across as crass and insensitive, my apologies to everyone once again. Like I said, I was mocking Musharraf’s mindset of “get raped, go abroad, get rich”. Yeesh, I feel so bad now.Recommend

  • Rafia

    They are so honest.

    Great collection! Recommend

  • http://malinink.wordpress.com Maliha

    hahhaha lol
    the fact that “Zardari: “Even Quaid-e-Azam wasn’t a graduate.”” is making my blood boil all over again. How DARE he insult the Quaid like that.
    great post :pRecommend

  • Amjad Irfan

    Great One!!!
    Missed a master piece by Balochistan Chief Minister Aslam Raisani, “degrees remain degrees be they fake or original!”.Recommend

  • madiha

    good :)……
    but how could you forget THIS one…
    “My position is clear. A degree is a degree. Whether it is real or fake.”,Chief Minister of Balochistan, Mr. Aslam RaisaniRecommend

  • http://www.tanzeel.wordpress.com Tanzeel

    Thanks everyone for appreciation, by the way I had lots of quotes in my mind including Zardari’s revelation about Jinnah’s academics but I couldn’t found it in any newspaper, so I avoided but I tried my level best not to spare Zardari. I even wanted to share Shahi Syed’s views on Urdu speakings but I didn’t as they were not published in any newspaper.Recommend

  • http://www.tanzeel.wordpress.com Tanzeel

    Couldn’t find*Recommend

  • Zubair Khan

    Good to read Tanzeel bro again :)
    .
    Thanks for making me hate Khair Buxx marri more,If only I was PM,i would have made Tanzeel bro my Information Minister and Thrown Marri out of this country forever !Recommend

  • IZ

    By the way, let me just also add that I really appreciate how you only put in quotes that you had documentary evidence for. Many times things are misquoted or even made up so I like how you backed up all your quotes – I wish our media people were as thorough. I look forward to a part 2 of this in a few weeks (or months).Recommend

  • Humanity

    @Tanzeel

    How about researching and compiling some quotes of the great leaders that Pakistan had once upon a time? I mean the people of character and integrity, who championed the cause of human dignity and integrity. Pakistan would not have been created if it wasn’t for their hard work and determination. Quotations of the people who actually fought for and founded Pakistan would be a great way to raise awareness.

    There is an urgent need to counter the misinformation that has been propagated by the disingenuous, self serving people who sidelined the genuine well wishers of Pakistan and usurped power by masquerading as the saviors of Islam. These saviors of Islam were the people who had fought tooth and nail against the idea of Pakistan. And then this ghairat brigade sneaked into Pakistan claiming it as their homeland, only to destroy it from within. Their children, the stalwarts of Islam, have hijacked the country and are running amok making mayhem.

    Quotation from the founding fathers side side with the gibberish from the hypocrite purists would be good way to expose how the vision of a promised land turned into a hellish nightmare. People must know the worthy mission of the founding fathers for which millions of people sacrificed every thing. People certainly did not make the sacrifice for a hell hole that the purist have turned this country into.

    Just a suggestion , if any one has the time and willingness to undertake this worthy effort.

    Regards.Recommend

  • http://ykhan.wordpress.com Yasser

    Add two more roller coaster

    Nawaz Sharif :- i will accomplish Zia Ul Haq mission
    Nawaz Sharif :- PMLN will accomplish Shaheed Benazir mission

    Now majority of people asks Mr.Nawaz Sharif what is your own mission??? :-) Recommend

  • http://www.tanzeel.wordpress.com Tanzeel

    @Humanity: Not a bad idea but IMO most of the Pakistanis are well aware of their great leaders’ quotes, I just compiled and presented this crazy stuff in lighter vein to see how this cocktail looks. In real life despite knowing the sayings of Jinnah, Iqbal, Mualana Mohd Ali Johar etc we prefer voting to the same politicians and sometimes try to defend their quotes in logical perspective. I don’t think those old quotes on Pakistani leaders will ever work. We are a stubborn nation that is not ready for any kind of change.

    @Yasser: I remember Nawaz Shareef’s Qalabaziaa but couldn’t find this quote in any newspaper.

    @IZ: I am not sure about part II but will keep updating these quotes in my personal blog.Recommend

  • Fahad Hashmat

    What about:

    “Corruption is our political right.” Wasi Zafar, PPP leader

    And there is one more thing which our leaders say, it is not funny, in fact it is sad but still these shameless fellows repeat it, and that is after every terror incident like bomb blasts, target killings, brutal protests etc our ministers and leaders come out and claim:

    “We will never let them succeed in their cruel intentions”

    “Hum unko, un kay na-paak iradoon mein kabhi kamyaab nahi ho ne dein ge!”Recommend

  • Ali Faruq

    What about ‘the partition is the biggest blunder in the history of mankind’ :DRecommend

  • dan

    tanzeel…. you forgot the “degree” comment that balochistan minister gave…that was the best one of the seasonRecommend

  • Muhammad Adnan Khan Qadri

    Great Work, collecting all those quotes.Recommend