18 mind blowing quotes by Pakistani politicians in 2013

Published: January 2, 2014

I could see improvement in politician’s behaviour and they have stated owning their statements.

Last year, our nation went through many a tragedy. From being held hostage by terrorists to being engulfed by sectarian violence, the terror spree has gone on without any breaks.

In this madness, we have had our politicians providing us their ‘pearls of wisdom’.

While this year we have missed the late Pir Pagara, Zulfiqar Mirza, Pervez Musharraf, Rehman Malik and the like, who had given us truly memorably comments regarding national security in the past, I was still able to collect some quotes which managed to become top headlines.

Here is how our leaders and politicians have shared their valuable opinions on issues of key importance to Pakistan and its people.

Diesel syndrome

“Even a dog killed by America is a martyr” – Maulana Fazlul Rehman (Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam)

Maulana Fazlu Rehman’s brief statement on killing of banned TTP’s commander.

Maulana Fazlul Rehman. Photo: Reuters

Guerrilla alert

“We are not going to succeed because Taliban are masters of guerrilla warfare” – Imran Khan (Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf)

On killing of the TTP chief, Imran Khan warned the nation and Pakistan Army against the Taliban’s tried and tested warfare strategy.

Imran Khan. Photo: Reuters

TTP Pvt Ltd

“Allow the Taliban to open offices in Pakistan” – Imran Khan (PTI)

Imran Khan’s demand despite knowing the fact that Taleban in Afghanistan are fighting a war against external forces unlike TTP attacking Pakistan Army and own people.

Killer apps

“Dear burgers, sorry about Skype/Viber/Whatsapp. Excuse us while we catch some terrorists and save some lives. SMS for 3 months” – Bilawal Bhutto Zardari (Pakistan Peoples Party)

This surprising justification came from Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, when the Sindh government decided to ban different online communication apps.

Bilawal Bhutto Zardari. Photo: Reuters

Basant in Karachi

“Pakistan had won freedom from Britain in 1947 but our Karachi is still a colony of London. We’ll cut the kite controlled by phone calls from London” – Bilawal Bhutto (PPP)

Bilawal enlightens the youth on how Basant should be celebrated in Karachi.

Ministry of Fear

“The TTP should be given religious ministries in the federal and provincial cabinets as a good will gesture.” – PTI Central Vice President, Mian Mukarram Shah  (PTI)

In an attempt to protect the nation from the wrath of Taliban, the PTI vice president came up with the remarkable demand of distributing religious ministries to the banned TTP group.

Question of tamasha

Tamasha not an un-parliamentary word” – Chaudhry Nisar (Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz)

The interior minister, after a thorough research, claimed that the word ‘tamasha’ (performance) had been used 45 times during the last five years in the parliament and no one had objected.

Chaudhry Nisar. Photo: AFP

Call of duty

“Those people who are protesting – and grandstanding – near Three Swords – I don’t want to fight or quarrel but if I order my supporters now, they will go to Three Swords and turn them in reality”. – Altaf Hussain (Muttahida Qaumi Movement)

The MQM chief warned his opponents to either accept the election results or get ready to face the consequences.

Altaf Hussain. Photo: Reuters

From Britain, with love

“Even Jinnah held a British passport and took oath of allegiance to the then British King, George VI” – Altaf Hussain (MQM)

The MQM chief reminded the nation about the passport carried by the father of the nation, giving a lesson which seldom history teachers ever impart to their students.

An Ajrak wedding

“A wedding reception at Sindh Assembly is not a big deal” – Agha Siraj Durrani (PPP)

Agha Siraj Durrani concluded the debate by endorsing wedding receptions at the Sindh Assembly as no big deal.

Agha Siraj Durrani. Photo: File

A swift solution to all our problems

“Democracy has failed and martial law should be implemented in Pakistan.” - Syed Faisal Raza Abidi (PPP)

After witnessing the democratic government’s performance, former PPP Senator Syed Faisal Raza Abidi revealed his swift and easy solution to all of Pakistan’s problems.

Syed Faisal Raza Abidi. Photo: File

Terrorists, by invite only

“We did not invite Osama bin Laden to Pakistan, or even to Afghanistan” – Yousuf Raza Gillani (PPP)

Former PM Yousuf Raza Gillani while defending Pakistan to the international community.

Yousuf Raza Gillani. Photo: Reuters

Seeing eye to eye

“I’ll see how anyone arrests me. The NAB (National Accountability Bureau) chairman is himself summoned, how can he summon me?” Yousuf Raza Gillani (PPP)

Former PM Yousuf Raza Gillani defends himself against corruption charges.

Rebel, much?

“Nawaz Sharif was, and remains, my leader, as I hold him in high esteem” – Jawed Hashmi  (PTI)

Jawed Hashmi showed complete faith and respect in his ex leader, whom he left because he was not in agreement with his ideologies in the first place. Okay, now I am confused.

Javed Hashmi. Photo: File

The martyr debate

“Hakimullah was a martyr” – Munawar Hasan (Jamaat-e-Islami)

Munawar Hasan, chief of JI, gives the title of martyrdom to the TTP chief, ignoring the sacrifices of hundreds of Pakistani soldiers.

Munawar Hasan. Photo: File

Of allegations and ideas

“Punjab University’s vice chancellor is a playboy type person” – Fareed Paracha (JI)

JI leader Fareed Paracha calls Punjab University vice chancellor a ‘playboy type’ because of his liberal ideologies.

Rumour has it

“Veena Malik is a bloody liar. Does she deserve coffee? I hate her.” - Shaikh Rasheed

Sheikh Rasheed reacts aggressively when a ‘coffee invitation’ to Veena Malik goes public.

Sheikh Rasheed. Photo: File

Jail Break

“I think K-P government should resign on the failure despite having report of the exact date. I do not know what the K-P Chief Minister Pervez Khattak, this teeli pehlwan (thin fighter), was doing” – Rana Sanaullah – (PML-N)

Rana Sanaullah shows his anger on the K-P chief minister’s helplessness over the Dera Ismail Khan jail break.

Rana Sanaullah. Photo: Reuters

These were the most unquotable quotes by our leaders in 2013 and each comment had its own entertainment value – irrespective of how repulsive they might have been.

This also highlights one very important thing – our leaders really need to start practicing the age-old advice of weighing ones words before speaking them. It would do them well to follow it.

Correction: This post previously contained a picture of Mukarram Khan, a journalist from FATA. The mistake has now been rectified. The error is regretted.

tanzeel.ahmad

Tanzeel Ahmad

A UAE based marketing professional who is interested in politics and cultural issues. He blogs at www.tanzeel.wordpress.com

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • sane

    Good. The quoted statement clearly depicts our leaders who claim to be savior of this country. Alas!!!! Hail to democracy.Recommend

  • Queen

    Come to think of it, we elect these people as our representatives. We definitely need to think 10 times beforre casting votes in the next elections.Recommend

  • Bimini

    Nicely put together. Can’t believe I hadn’t heard of the PTI leader who wanted to put the TTP Incharge of religious miniseries. But it really goes to show mindset.
    Recently a colleagues driver (from KP or FATA) told me his kabeelas belief of why the US was involved with Pak. According to him it isn’t for money or economic or even religious reasons; it’s all about “wiping out the Pashtuns in tribal areas and the north, as these are the only people in the world physically and mentally able to stand up to the US military”. Facepalm.Recommend

  • Javeria

    “Veena Malik is a bloody liar. Does she deserve coffee? I hate her.” – Shaikh Rasheed (PTI)

    hahahahahahahahahhaRecommend

  • Asad

    Imran Khan statements might seem perplexing but they do make some if you ponder over them. Unless political solution is reached with at least some groups of the Taliban, terrorism can be at best, limited, not extinguished. Regarding the office statement, what he was trying to say, is that, in order to communicate, to dialogue, you do need a physical, reliable place where these dialogues can take place. These are complex issues, black and white solutions like a choice between either complete war or peace dialogues at any cost without preconditions, won’t get us anywhere. A lot of pragmatism is required and bold steps are what we need.Recommend

  • Supriya Arcot

    Pity not one of them is a woman. Perhaps that’s why , we don’t have any ‘sensible’ quotes in that long list .Recommend

  • Ozair

    Its interesting to see that writer has written Sheikh Rasheed as PTI member ……….LolzRecommend

  • Azam Ali

    araiy Shaikh Rasheed is not in PTI…..
    ////Rumour has it

    “Veena Malik is a bloody liar. Does she deserve coffee? I hate her.” – Shaikh Rasheed(PTI)/////Recommend

  • DaPakiGuy

    Most of the Quotes are out of context….People should read full statement before judging anyone.Recommend

  • Seb

    The writer is badly misinformed. This alleged central vice president has never been heard of in recent years. But oh well, thats Tribune for you. Twisting as per convenience.Recommend

  • Parvez

    Pakistan’s maritime defence is impregnable………Nawaz Sharif as reported by ET on 28th Dec’13 ( Gave many a good laugh )Recommend

  • Maryam Hashim

    let me remind you that Mian Mukarram Shah is not an office bearer of Pakistan tehrek-e-Insaf.Recommend

  • Faraz Talat

    Some of us are naturally concerne about PTI’s eagerness in legitimizing a terrorist organization, and dealing with it like its a Pakistani political party; or even a sovereign state.

    Stop setting an example that everytime you blast a girls’ school, Imran Khan will appear before you like a genie and make your wishes come true in exchange for temporary peace.

    Because a terrorist, at the end of the day, is still a terrorist. That is as black and white as it gets.

    Recommend

  • goggi (Lahore)

    Actually Veena told Sheikh Rashid in a very decent Punjabi how she longs to eat her favorite dish “Chikar Cholay”! Thereupon Mr Rashid replied, “CChola tussi apna le aayo………………….chikar maiN bana deyaN ga!!!!!!Recommend

  • kthanksbye

    I am pretty sure if u dig a little deeper than 2013 you will find alot of ‘sensible’ quotes made my female politicians too!Recommend

  • Asad

    That’s true, and I agree with you, a terrorist is a terrorist. But again, some of these terrorist groups might be willing to end their terroristic activities after a dialogue process. Others won’t that’s almost sure, with those we will have to use force, we won’t have alternatives. And Imran Khan has given his approval for the usage of force, but only as last resort.Recommend

  • Nomi

    Bohat aaala captions larkay!
    but you seemed quite biasedRecommend

  • Citizen

    thoroughly enjoyed write up. kuddos .Recommend

  • Ras

    Mian Mukarram Shah hold no post in PTI he is not even in the NA or Provincial assembly not even in CEC. so Express Tribune do some home work before publishing something. Interestingly the video is from Capital Tv ( Zardari funded tv) no other tv channel showed that news. Shame on Express Tribune and Capital TVRecommend

  • JAved

    i wonder why there was no unquote from the sharif brothers.. i wonder why!!!Recommend

  • Proletarian

    Whatever happened to INSAF? Who will give the victims of the Taliban bombing INSAF? Is it INSAF now to let brutal murderers go? Tehreek-e-Insaf should reneame itself Tehreek-e-Surrender. Recommend

  • Iftikhar Ali

    At least PTI won in cracking the good jokes.
    Sara zamana Jokers ka dewanaRecommend

  • Hameed Ansari

    Well, “Insaf” is the same thing they want Drones keep bombing them, killing their families.
    Do you think they are fighting for Islam?
    They are people who have lost everything and now they want revenge.
    if your whole family is killed in a bombing and one day if someone walks in and tells you u can avenge your family and have chance to get into heaven, wouldn’t you take it?
    its time to stop the war had have peace talks or we’ll just create more of these terroristsRecommend

  • Muhammad Bilal Anjum

    You have got only 2 thumbs down just because most people don’t want to get into signing up and bla bla.Recommend

  • Cyra

    Good work TanzeelRecommend