‘The Zionists did it’ and other conspiracy theories
Osama bin Laden could be anywhere from Washington to the Bahamas, but he's probably alive.
I’ve heard more conspiracy theories these past couple of weeks than I would like to care for. It seems that the Zionists, Freemasons and Indian spy agency RAW have been collaborating on a series of coordinated strikes on me and my small yet suspiciously detrimental-to-the-future-of-the-world social circle.
Conspiracy 1: Did you know that there were four Blackwater (now called Xe but we still like the old name because it sounds more evil) agents on board the doomed Air Blue flight? Presumably they were forcing the pilot to crash into the nearby Kahuta nuclear base but the heroic pilot crashed into the mountains to spoil their plans.
Conspiracy 2: Did you know that the floods that washed away most of Pakistan were actually the by-product of US Military’s secret HAARP project which specialises in weather control and other sinister forms of kooky warfare?
Conspiracy 3: Did you know that the Indian Cricket Board, presumably funded by the country’s ever-scheming intelligence agencies, framed the Pakistani team in that spot-fixing spat?
Conspiracy 4: Did you know that Osama bin Laden is living in Washington DC, enjoying Jersey Shore reruns with some friends while munching on pizza?
Conspiracy 5: Did you know that Dr Aafia Siddiqi was secretly sabotaged by the Pakistani government and that the guys in Islamabad got a big fat cheque for helping ‘set an example out for muslims worldwide’?
Believe it or not, I heard all these morsels of hidden truth in the space of maybe three to four days.
Here’s what I know: We’re not the centre of the world. The centre of paranoia, maybe, but not much else. We need to stop blaming other, secret forces for our troubles. No, they are not out to get us. We just need a scapegoat so that we can pin our troubles and general lack of progression on someone.
But then again, you never know. I’m probably commissioned by the Jewish lobby to lull the Pakistani public into a false sense of security.
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.
You getting paid as part of this commission? Is it a big fat kosher cheque?Recommend
A teacher brought up conspiracy 2 in his first class this week. I said, “Yeah, but its all the Zionists and the RAW agents working with Amreeka to bring about the downfall of the Muslim empire, seeing as they don’t have countries of their own to run or their own people to take care of.” Dude even blamed the rain in the UAE for HAARP. Hey, at least it gives me something to be sarcastic about. I’m so glad I have’t heard the Osama bin Laden theory yet, I bet I’d have cried if I had for sure.Recommend
Haha love the picture! OBL with a lip job. Priceless!Recommend
good one :)Recommend
about 1st threory..
By donw news..
http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/the-newspaper/front-page/airblue-cockpit-had-a-third-person-880
.
by the way, yes we should not blame other.. but what the hell black water is doing in Pakistan???Recommend
As they say, that since they are powerfull today, they are conspiring against you … Now when you were in the same category, you were conquering the world as well. Lobbies and conspiracies seep in, only when you have fallen week, and have no faith in yourself. Conpiring against the other is nothing new, and has been happening since the world started. It is you and only you who needs to rise up intellectually to counter it all such manuvers.Recommend
looolRecommend
Some more conspiracy theories:
1- Not a single WMD found in Iraq. (PROVED)
2- Aafia was not associated with Al-Qaeeda, Taliban or any other ‘terrorist’ organization. (PROVED in the court, check the full verdict)
3- Blackwater/XE members are pr…esent in Pakistan. (PROVED, caught several times)
4- Missing Persons have been sold to US by Musharraf. (PROVED, wrote in his own book)
5- SWAT flogging video is FAKE. (PROVED)
You wrote 5, here u go … 5 from my side … u rite more i’ll give more!Recommend
You never know! Or u can’t imagine What these Jews Can do!
They are controlling your financial!Recommend
Who Knows Mr. Umair Kazi, if you are indeed commissioned to do exactly what you mentioned???Recommend
Kazi sb go watch The X-Files, loads fulla 9 seasons of conspiracies.
Dress up & speaking their lingo doesnt earn one respect in a society instead the black sheep are identified easily.
Muslims must unite in the dark times to prosper.
Hasan sb’s comments were worth it.
I wonder wats one called selling his sister to aliens my bad vocab. Bas-ush-arraf-tard .Recommend
@Hasan Aafia is married to the cousin of Khalid Sheikh Muhammad. Muslim Khan, the spokesperson of TTP accepted on TV that the flogging did take place, infact he said that the punishment given to the girl was lenient. No Blackwater member has been caught in Pakistan. Other 2 arent conspiracies, they are facts admitted by those who committed them.Recommend
lol, good one .Recommend
it is one of our obsessions, as a nation, to blame everything on zionists, america, raw or israel, just like our obsessions with the ‘our glorious past’ or the ‘muslim ummah’, which ,honestly, even exists nowadays. I think people have been listening too much to zaid hamid, so now everyone has become a conspiracy theorist.Recommend
*doesnt exist nowadaysRecommend
Conspiracy 1 and 5 mentioned in the list aren’t that far fetched.
After all, Mushy admitted in his own book that he sold 300+ Pakistanis to US for $$$.
US was indeed involved in sabotaging and destroying Zia’s plane in 1987 plus there is a long history of willful deception by US to initiate wars and gain other diplomatic and material gains.
How they invaded Iraq and on what grounds?
Plus there indeed are many un-answered questions regarding 9/11, see some of the documentaries produced by Americans and Europeans, so not every conspiracy theory can be termed as lame or baseless.Recommend
One only has to read the autobiography of a former Mossad officer Victor Ostrovsky,who quit Mossad and now lives a ‘normal’ life in US.His book ‘By Way of Deception’ was a bestseller.Israel tried hard to have the book banned but it still got sold and is now freely available for everyone to read.
The book reveals how the notorious Israeli intelligence agency works by deception and deceit.Many of the so-called ‘consipracy theories’ will actually trace back to Mossad and you’d all be shocked.
http://www.amazon.com/Way-Deception-Making-Mossad-officer/dp/0971759502Recommend
while it might sound “FUNNY” that black water crashed the plane in ISB. it might not sound funny to know black water is a private army owned by a money hungry corporate composed of ex military personal killing for money …. they changed there named to XE because they where band by Iraq gov. to hold any security contracts in Iraq because of the war crimes they have committed in Iraq … and its no secrete we have XE in Pakistan..
Jeremy Scahill … wrote a book on them you have to see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackwater:TheRiseoftheWorld%27sMostPowerfulMercenary_Army
whats link Xe to Jews the head of Xe Eric Prince is a right wing Cristian Zionists…
HAARP (High Frequency Active Auroral Research) here is a nice documentary on harp its called Angels Don’t Play This HAARP,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jOqfmN_3vA
its based on a book “Angels Don’t Play This Haarp: Advances in Tesla Technology” by “Jeane Manning”,,,, Tesla barged in early 1900′s that he can split the world in half ….
bush family and bin ladin family own combined entrust in a oil company (cant remember the name ) in taxis…….. So Osama might not be in DC. literary he is there figuratively …. its not the “OSAMA” part of his name witch scares people it the “Bin Laden” part which scares the S- – -t out of American people….. and Bushes are in business with Bin ladens Simple. not to mention Osama is CIA assets and Al-Qaeda was name for CIA data base for Muslim assets … the word Al-Qaeda literary means “the BASE” and data base in Arabic is called “Al-Qaeda Al- Myeloma”
so if some one say Osama Bin Laden is living in Washington …. well i dont know about Osama but….. Bin Laden shore is
well don’t even talk about Dr Aafia Siddiqi if she was not secretly sabotaged by the Pakistani government how did she end up in USA…. its shame full to even make fun about this issue knowing she lost her 2 babes during this mess
and yes you where commissioned by JEWS to served them the day you joined stared you education … the best part is you payed to learn to serve you masters …. if it wasn’t for us uneducated like me, our whole nation will be “hear no evil, talk no evil, and see no evil “Recommend
Not believing in the conspiracies or the outer forces is a state of ignorance. And seeing conspiracy in everything is worst form of denial.
We are living in a time of confusion, the age of chaotic information, so you never know what exactly is the truth. Just like, no one can prove it, no one should also reject it all out.Recommend
Most people who write about Black Water have no clue what they are talking about it. FYI. their operations are a subject of US Congress investigationRecommend
http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/10/01/us.guatemala.apology/index.html?hpt=T1
US apologizes for infecting Guatemalans with STDs in the 1940s
Another conspiracy theory; ONLY THIS TIME US officials have officially accepted and apologized for it.
I think Umair Kazi should be ready to accept the blame of this as well.
Umair seems to be a mummy dad chap, who has seen a few hollywood movies and been to KFC & McDonalds and now believes that whatever US says is correct and we should take the blame of every thing, even before US puts it on us.Recommend
Out of all these responses, some of which are loonier than others, I agree with Kazim.
There is way too much information out there, including many conspiracies (which may or may not be true) and even including this blogpost.
My point here was, if we set out to prove or disprove all these things, we might never get to the end of it. Within this blog, two sides can continue arguing on whether these are conspiracies or in fact, the truth. Indefinitely.
I humbly urge you to stop worrying about the obstacles and who put them there, and race ahead. Stop thinking about the conspiracies, just excel in whatever you do DESPITE the sinister plans of (insert your evil agency/secret-brotherhood of choice here).Recommend
One must not believe all that comes onto the ‘idiot-box’ all the time – and one must not put conspiracies as the sole method of judging !
Mr. Umair Kazi can also check Mr. ‘Webster Tarpley’ on YouTube ( a renowned defence analyst with extensive research on the workings of the CIA.
‘Confessions of an Economic Hitman’, is that also a conspiracy ?Recommend
Confessions of an Economic Hitman….Yup
Looking forward to views from Umair Kazi on this one..Recommend
Should we be gullible enough to believe what comes on FOX NEWS only ???
what are intelligence agencies for ? and what if you have strong contacts with those intelligence agencies ??
if the intelligence agencies were baseless, why create the CIA with a trillion dollar budget ??Recommend
Mr Kazi !
We indeed have to focus on our own condition.But kindly get out of being ignorant of external elements.Yes we do talk a lot about conspiracies but there is also a lot truth in those conspiracies.
You seriously need to get your facts right ! Otherwise you even would not understand all this when you would see the invasion of more Muslim countries.
Do we really need the Almighty to show Himself to us and tell us what is happening ?
How long will we keep making ourselves fools by believing whatever mainstream media says ?
If we are still unable to use our senses then what is the benefit of being educated ?Recommend
Hey RAW is recruiting innocent Muslims waiting to be brainwashed. They provide a very good medical coverage. Interested can send your Resumes to careers@raw.com.Recommend
Great Views Hasan Naqvi and Truth Teller … In this world of chaos, confusion and obscurity we must believe and disbelieve wht we deem fit and proper…. By the very nature of the comments in this blog I guess conspiracy theorists do exist for a purpose; as do the conspirers!Recommend
all the poor guy is trying to say is that lets face reality and overcome our shortcomings. no on eis even bothered about the corruption in each and every organization in Pakistan. no one is bothered about ill fate of politics and election outcomes. no one came out on street against fake degrees and the members are still sitting there in parliament for that matter no one came out on the increasing commodity rates. HEC sponsored students never came back. most of them to be honest. so who is behind all this America. we restored cheif Justice what did he do for us till now. all i know is that he is just supporting one political party and running after the second one. mr Khawaja Shareef is still practicing though he clearly on a number of times proved his undying love for the other two Sharifs our prime minister wins our hearts when he says a few words which the majority thinks is for betterment of the country where as actually he is leading the corruption list. l0l conspiracy theories or no conspiracy theories all i care about are the realities on ground to whom no one is paying any attention too.Recommend
@Hasan Naqvi
Thumbs up !Recommend
This peace of writing was grossly disappointing.Recommend
piece*Recommend
Here is a true conspiracy, I am a victim of this, and so are thousands of Americans. The conspiracy is Gang Stalking/Targeted Individuals. The most horrible torture and murders are going on everyday, in every neighborhood in America. I know of four victims in my neighborhood. They kill people in our circle, and leave us to be tortured with EMF weapons/HAARP.Recommend
You better get used to it baby!Recommend