The perfect wife

Published: February 19, 2013

He caressed her hand, her lovely art-loving hands that were manicured; what completed the picture was a diamond ring shone on her ring finger. PHOTO: REUTERS

She was beautiful with her almond shaped eyes and dark eyebrows that framed her oval face perfectly. A small tress fell onto her clear forehead as if on cue every time the wind swayed.

He caressed her hand, her lovely art-loving hands that were manicured; what completed the picture was a diamond ring which shone on her ring finger.

“You’re beautiful,” he said breathlessly.

I’m beautiful to you, my love,” she said with equal fervour. “It’s all in your eyes. It’s all about the perfect way through which you look at me.”

He sighed happily.

“Here, have this — your favourite cheesy roast potatoes and lamb curry that I made especially for you.”

It was the most amazing meal of his life. The meat was soft and tender. The potatoes were perfectly salted. The cheese was melting in his mouth.

“I’ve made this lemonade for you to go with this. And after this we’ve got chocolate lava cake. So keep some space free for that.” She giggled.

How he loved her sparkly, wonderful giggle. It turned everything around him into a pool of silver and gold.

Once the lava cake was properly consumed, she brought forth his favourite daily newspaper and placed a pack of cigars next to him.

“Your cigars,” she said kissing him on the forehead.

He kissed her. “You’re perfect.”

He smoked his cigar while reading the paper. Once he was done, he looked around, and sure as every night, he turned to see that she sat with a cup of hot coffee and some playing cards.

“It’s our evening game time.” She smiled, and he saw how much more it added to her beauty.

They played and he won. He switched on the television. He kept flipping the channels and finally decided to watch the news.

“What’s the world coming to? These wars! This plunder. Really, they must put an end to all of this.” He shook his head and yawned.

“You’re so right, honey.”

He looked at her and saw her nodding sagely. Self-satisfied, he switched to the sports channel.

They went up to the bedroom where he changed into his teddy bear pyjamas and she wore her perfect silky nighty. He snuggled into his pillow happily thinking of a great night ahead when she brought him his cell phone,

“I’m so sorry but you have a message, love,” she said. “I know you don’t like it when I don’t tell you about your messages that you might ignore otherwise.”

“That’s okay. Let me see who it is.”

He saw there was a voicemail. It was one of his friends from golf.

 “Hey, man. How’s it going? Just wanted to…uh. Oh for heaven’s sake, you know why I’m calling.” Cough. “Dude, you know that it’s been three months since I got divorced and I’ve been really lonely.” Cough. “Just. Okay. You know. So, umm, do you think you could…” Cough. “Possibly build me one of your contraptions too? I’ll pay you whatever you want. Just call me back. Bye.”

He laughed.

“Who was it, honey?”

“Oh no one.” He waved his hand dismissively as they switched off the lights and got into bed.

“Just someone telling me how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

Her eyes were so bright and her cheeks were so flushed at the compliment.

“Oh honey.”

“Oh yes, babe. I’m one lucky guy. And I’m buying you another diamond ring tomorrow.”

“Oh honey! You’re the best!”

He stroked her shoulder as she hugged him and kept thanking him with various other praises.

Version 1.1 of the Robot Housewife was one smashing success.

Read more by Mahwash here or follow her on Twitter @MhwshB

Mahwash.Badar.

Mahwash Badar

A clinical psychologist and movie buff, hopping countries with her son and husband. Permanently in a state of flux.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Nobody

    Can’t speak for every guy (or ANY guy rather since I’m a girl), but that sounds more frightening than it does pleasing. Too Stepford Wives-ish. Recommend

  • SomeGuy

    Forever AloneRecommend

  • gp65

    @Nobody: Uncanny. I thought of the exact same thing!Recommend

  • The Situation

    I really like that voice of my heart, i am really loving my wife so, and she is the ever perfect girl of the world….. I love herRecommend

  • not impressed

    i dont get it…Recommend

  • Aijaz Haider

    Was he real? … definitely compatable.Recommend

  • http://India Feroz

    Is this a world of make believe ?Recommend

  • Ali Haider

    WHAT THE FALOODA ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT WOMAN!?!?!?! Recommend

  • The Situation

    @Ali Haider:
    There are many Falodas to be made, and i know that very much Well… When you are sincere she goes sincere to you naturally. Mostly Men look at girls with beauty angle and Girls looks at men on behavior point of view.. so she is Good at looking at me that way…Recommend

  • Hardliner

    LMAO………….. just when i was wondering that its too much of a robotic wife, u said it all!!……….. a pleasureful article to read though………..Recommend

  • Hardliner

    @SomeGuy:

    Lolzzz…. nothing better than ur description……..!Recommend

  • http://www.salmanzq.com salmanzq

    Brilliant!Recommend

  • http://www.salmanzq.com salmanzq

    not surprised that a lot of men are not getting it!Recommend

  • uzma

    The Husband in this story is the real hero !!!!
    I suggest a better title “The Perfect Husband”Recommend

  • http://mariasial.hubpages.com/hub/sucessfullrelationship maria sial

    Perfect relationship and perfect guy is so close to impossible these days . but i believe it is always good to be optimistic and keep own self as honest as you can in relationship, so you can actually demand perfection on the other side. The perfect guy got a perfect girl …Recommend

  • Akbar

    can somebody please tel me k yeh kia tha?Recommend

  • citizen

    what was this ?Recommend

  • Aijaz Haider

    @Akbar: Version 1.1 of the Robot Housewife – no mother-in-law, no children (maybe robots).Recommend

  • zahra

    what crap? Makes no sense at allRecommend

  • Bewildered

    Seems more like the script of an Indian or Pakistani soap drama than anything else.Recommend

  • Stranger

    Does any one have a perfect husband article to publish? Perfection exists only in the dictionary.Recommend

  • Manie

    Men will always be from mars and women from Venus and this article is a prime example of this. Funny part is a lot of women don’t get it too!!!Recommend

  • Madhia

    The not so perfect couple i guess. she z acting as a maid for diamond ring :/Recommend

  • Syed Masood

    Well, as far as his reaction concern.. he reflects by his wife’s prudence & curiosity.Recommend

  • I am a Khan

    I wish I could get a wife like that!! (as written in this piece). Beautiful, loving, caring, housewife….If such women existed in today’s world, this world would have become a paradise for Men…. Alas, we men can only get such wifes in Jannat (Paradise) in the form of Hoors, not in this world….
    In this world, the wife and her family are always in a tug of war to make the hubby a slave and cut off all his connections with his parents, brothers, sisters, family….If only girls of today and their families had been humane, I would probably not be single. sigh. Recommend

  • sarwat

    All this is just fantasy as in real world we have mother in law and jethani also and these people alltoghther mostly wont let u live perfect life :)Recommend

  • Parvez

    The theme wasn’t particularly original but it did make you wrinkle your nose and ask ‘ what the……………..? ‘Recommend

  • Harry

    Blow up doll anyone?Recommend

  • Sidrah

    @I am a khan
    What about women who have to deal with pretty pathetic men in this world and will end upw ith the same men in the after world. Don’t insult all women.Recommend

  • Be practical

    Getting old and still single. Somehow my seach for this perfect girl is not coming to an end. And I wonder if it would ever be before its too late. But still living in conquest is better than getting caged for the sake of completion.Recommend

  • http://www.enrichers.com.pk Harris

    beauty Recommend

  • Socrates

    I think the author is writing from her personal experience and prejudicesRecommend

  • anwar suhail

    What was that. Perhaps something too profound for ordinary mortals!!! sorry NOT impressed.Recommend

  • http://gmail idrees

    it good to some extend we shall have to appreciate such artiacle and column to promote good relation ship not in our own life but also keep continues strugle to adoptother peopleRecommend

  • Shridhar

    @The Situation.. You said Mostly Men look at girls with beauty angle and Girls looks at men on behavior point of view..

    Small correction.. Girl’s look at men first through his wealth … Recommend

  • ring wala

    what if the husband cant get diamond ring.. will he receive the same karri . or a spam of DAL CHAWAL :D ” aeey khaao tayy sojao ” :D Recommend

  • Ms N

    I just wasted 5 minutes of my life reading and then thinking about this article. Sigh.Recommend

  • PUKE!

    I’m a guy but that is BS…What most of the guys (and girls in few case besides Financial Stability which is a MUST) seek in there partner is “TRUST” which is hard to find in this 21st Century….Recommend

  • Umar

    How don’t people get this story? It’s not rocket scienceRecommend

  • https://www.facebook.com/Ayesha.Momina Ayesha Pervez

    Ahhhh my favorite blogger after quite some time! Mahwash why you no write funny blogs anymore? :(Recommend

  • Atif

    @I am a Khan

    :)Recommend

  • Usman

    That was pretty cool. I liked it, my dreams are also quite similar with this..:-)Recommend

  • http://syedaabidabokhari.wordpress.com The Only Normal Person Here.

    Imagery was trite and lack maturity.Recommend

  • Einsjam Neutron

    I WANT THAT WIFE !….does the company accept Amex?Recommend

  • methil

    Too soft for my liking.Who wants a woman without fire in her eyes and hips!Recommend

  • Not a Jiggalo

    Musings of a divorced woman who thinks all men are the same as her ex. I must say, that’s some high quality rubbish you have jotted down Mahwash. Recommend

  • Ali

    i need a wife not a maid… :-/Recommend

  • http://islamabad abc

    the perfect husband , it should have been!Recommend

  • Rizwan Ali

    Perfect Wife…..
    Well written….But I don’t think this could happen in real life……..as WIFE can never be PERFECTRecommend

  • shahida kazi

    This is a copy of the Stepford Wives ,a best selling novel and also a movie where the men would get rid of their wives and replace them with robots who would make pefect wives and satisfy their every need.Recommend

  • Khalid Sattar

    I have no words about this article. I mean this is amazing and I want to appreciate “MAHWISH BADAR” to write such a stunning article.

    Although I am bachelor and really don’t know about the feelings and attachment of wife. But in this article every word, line and then whole story she covers it’s really amazing. Recommend

  • Nobody

    @I am a Khan:
    Loving caring wife? She’s a robotic doormat. Is that hot to you? Gee no wonder you’re single. Why not focus on your own flaws as opposed to claiming women are the problem and the reason you’re single. I’d love a caring loving guy too but if he aped everything I did and agreed with everything I said like a parrot I’d take him to a crowded place and lose him there. If this is what guys want in this life (or think they’re getting in the next life) they need help. Gross. Recommend

  • uzma

    @Rizwan Ali:
    No one is perfect!!! neither a HUSBAND nor a WIFE
    The situation described by poor Mahwish is an ideal situation!!!!
    why don’t you people get it? come on…….Recommend

  • observer

    @Syed Masood:

    Well, as far as his reaction concern.. he reflects by his wife’s prudence & curiosity.

    Can any one translate this in English, please?

    Or, Urdu for that matter.Recommend

  • Turbo Lover

    Does this robot wife have Bluetooth? Just asking.Recommend

  • I am a Khan

    @Nobody

    why, what is wrong in having an agreeable, loving, caring, wife? If only they existed in this world…The description of the wife in this article is my imagination of a hoor in paradise! :) and I guess 17 other people agree with me for recommending my comment :). However to make you (and other hard headed ladies) feel better, even if I do not get such a wife in this world, I will manage with whatever stubborn person I get, in the hope that Allah rewards me for my patience with a wife in the afterlife like the one in this article (or even better) :)) have a good day!Recommend

  • http://nope nada

    you loser! the blame game thrives because of lame, backward men like you in Pakistan@I am a Khan: Recommend

  • amoghavarsha.ii

    @author,
    I did not know you could write like this too.
    It was very good and yes I was waiting for your last sentence, which I think most of your commentators or readers might hv missed.
    To the others who missed, please read the last sentance
    ” Version 1.1 of the Robot Housewife was one smashing success. ”

    This could be good subject to make a Bollywood film.
    may be author could add some more real life characters (human wife & in-laws) in this scene.

    over all very good read…..Recommend

  • I am a Khan

    @Sidrah:

    I agree that some nice women end up with terrible men. I was in no way insulting or blaming all girls/women. I just spoke of some cases, where the girl’s family wanted only a son in law without any baggage or connection with the guy’s family. Its seems that it usually happens that the nice girls get married to terrible guys and the nice guys get married to the not so nice girls…sigh. Recommend

  • Mahwash Badar

    @Shahida Kazi

    I saw Stepford Wives ages ago and this story was not inspired by it. Look closer.

    @Everyone else assuming I’m either asexual, single or divorced:

    I am happily married to a man who doesn’t expect me to be a robot.Recommend

  • Morning Glory

    Most of the people here are disregarding the last line :)Recommend

  • SAM@Shabir

    it was awesome….I have seen it happening in real.Recommend

  • I am a Khan

    @Mahwash Badar:
    Probably he is a Robot :))Recommend

  • abc

    ma’am duniya mae wapis ajaen ap, coz all these pertains to some other place but surely not to our planet…. “have medicine”.Recommend

  • Dr. Asad Sadick, Germany

    Sounds fake. And if it’s not fake, then worse all the more.Recommend

  • Farina

    I like this blog. It takes you to a whole other world! Though I wonder if such perfect wives a.k.a Door-mats exist. Feel sorry for them if they do, even if the prize at the end of the day is ‘another diamond ring’.Recommend

  • https://www.facebook.com/SiriuStudios Fahad Syed Photography

    Oh, a very nice fantasy. But that can be real too. Until we start caring and valuing for relationships.
    Goes for Wife & Hubby both.

    Fahad Syed PhotographyRecommend

  • Midhat

    @ Author:
    Lol I am sorry that SO many people didnt get it! Good one!

    To all people complaining , Please read the last line again ” Version 1.1 of the Robot Housewife was one smashing success” lol it was a subliminal message to all those men who expect and fantacise such a wife, Please get a robot!Recommend

  • Midhat

    @I am a Khan:
    Khan, Not sure if you need to grow up or you need serious help! You are expecting real life to be fantasy where there are perfect Robots instead of realife humans Recommend

  • Working Woman

    I wish this perfect wife dare asking once if her hubby (shown to be damn loving) watched porn before marrying her? And to add more spice, does he still do?

    oooooooooo Dream broken?????Recommend

  • ss

    “fantasy-tic” storyyy :pRecommend

  • fgh

    teddy bear pajamas??? LOL ruins the poem i’d say :phRecommend

  • Anum

    Lovie dowie blog…. it has enlighten my mood… good read.!! :)Recommend

  • Sundas

    Awesome work! Very engaging, just loved it!Recommend

  • kinza

    @uzma:
    khuda ka waasta yaar! gimme a break!Recommend

  • Umair

    Funniest part of this article, “when perfect wife gave cigars to her husband”. If we apply this supposition on different areas of our country then perfect wives would give NASWAR to their husbands in case of northern areas. :PRecommend

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