Don’t shy away from the ‘talk’: Your children deserve sex-education

Published: December 16, 2012

I believe it would be better if, instead of exposing their children to such disparate and wild information, parents have an honest talk. PHOTO: REUTERS

Due to some myopic stigmas related to sexual and reproductive health rights issues in our country, parents normally refrain from discussing such topics with children. The result is that sometimes children without awareness have extreme trouble in dealing with this.

I appreciate those parents who consider it important to equip their children with knowledge about the physical changes they go through, while hitting puberty. But there are many parents who do not discuss such issues with them, considering it obnoxious.

Thus, their children are left with no other option but to either consult their friends or log on to websites to explore this topic. Here, they either acquire information in a positive or negative manner. The negative one can either make them a victim or an offender of abuse.

These are the same parents who have no objection to their children listening to private radio channels or watching the television channels where, under the banner of ‘modern enlightenment’, all sorts of information is being disseminated in a questionable manner.

The parents also allow their children to carry cell phones or laptops through which they can easily access the Internet and log on to any website to satisfy their craving for information of any type.

I believe it would be better if, instead of exposing their children to such disparate and wild information, parents have an honest talk.

I came across two cases once, while writing an article on abuse.

In one case, a person was shattered when she was divorced by her husband when he found out that she had been abused. Her mother never taught her how to protect herself physically, causing the woman to experience much psychological trauma.

For another person, the molester was her nine-year-old brother. When she was older and finally built up the courage to say no, he assaulted her. One day, she discovered a diaper rash on her one-year-old baby girl, which brought back traumatic memories. She opened up to her husband about why she broke down, hoping that he would help her come to terms with her traumatic childhood.

Unfortunately, he divorced her instead.

At various seminars and workshops on sexual reproductive health and rights, health experts and civil society members suggested including this topic in the educational curriculum. They believe that this will help to educate people in a manner that could greatly benefit our society.

In response to this a well-known gender specialist, informed the audience that there are many teachers who are reluctant and feel uneasy to teach such topics considering them to be bold and inappropriate, bearing Pakistan’s conservative society in mind.

He quoted an example of a senior biology teacher at a school in Multan who quit a chapter on reproductive health as he felt uncomfortable to teach this to his students – especially to females.

I believe this is due to the generation gap. There are many parents who feel uneasy to talk to their children about sexual reproductive health issues.  Even if a child asks his parents about how he was born, parents consider it to be strange and feel that this information is inappropriate for children. Thus, the induce the stigma that such topics are ‘vile’ and condition their children to believe that discussing such ‘vulgar’ topics makes one a bad person.

Such an attitude of parents, forces their children to learn about such things from other sources mainly, their friends or the internet. As we all know, the internet can be a dangerous place for such discussion. If a search goes wrong, children may fall in to the hands of sexual predators and this could lead to a lot of trauma. It is painfully easy to fall in to such a trap – countless stories exist where, in their innocence, children have not even realised that they have been taken advantage of.

Why let it come to this point?

I believe that a father can easily teach his son and a mother, her daughter, about the physical changes they will have to go through while hitting puberty. If they think they cannot, then they can ask other close family members to teach their growing children or purchase books or CD’s which are attested and specifically geared towards this task.

Parents should also be given training on such issues, not only in urban areas, but in rural areas where people are completely unaware of such things.

As compared to urban areas, children in rural areas are more likely to become a victim of sexual abuse. This is due to the child labour at bus stands, roadside hotels, shops and factories. These children are sexually abused and this affects them psychologically and physically.

Furthermore, these children grow up to become molesters in their attempt to avenge their own childhood trauma.

Now the real question is, how to teach this to a nation who is not even ready to talk about controlling AIDs?

Read more by Sehrish here.

Sehrish Wasif

Sehrish Wasif

A reporter on the Islamabad pages of The Express Tribune.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Sidra Anjum

    Sex education should be introduced in colleges and universities because teenagers need to know how to protect themselves better.There are a lot of misconception about sex in our society and in a patriarchal,religious society like ours,there’s a lot of sex but talking about it has been made a taboo,something which good girls should never do.Opposition to sex ed in schools comes from the religious rightwing and the misogynistic people in our society who desire to keep sex a man’s prerogative.
    At the root of opposition to sex ed,is a severe fear of female sexuality.It’s time to break the shackles that patriarchy and religion has bound women in.Recommend

  • zeeshan

    Sex education is beneficial but sadly it’s not possible in a society like ours.Sex has been made out to be something evil to be avoided and not discussed.There is a lot of shame and guilt associated with sex in our public’s mind.Organised religion has played a big part in this as has a male dominated society.Organised religion & patriarchy go hand in hand.there should be no harm in educating children about sex,they should know about their bodies and have better knowledge.Recommend

  • Yasir

    Dear Sehrish,

    Civilizations have lived and survived without this education and especially in our society this automatically gets communicated; but since our media is getting excited and so called moderate society of elite think its necessary, we should not be making it a chapter as it is in western countries. i consider it highly inappropriate!

    Best Regards
    Yasir Jamal
    Houston, TexasRecommend

  • http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

    Quick! Somebody please mail this blog to Lahore High Court before they ban the next batch of sex-ed books.Recommend

  • MK

    Strongly agree, and thank you for bringing this topic up. @Yasir – despite the fact that people have survived without this ‘kind of education’ for centuries, please look what survival really means – sure people have survived, but unfortunately they are also trauma victims, victims of severe repression, domestic & sexual abuse, with no one to turn to and no form of support whatsoever. why on earth would we let such repression exist & continue to go on?

    strongly in favor of sex education – it really doesn’t have to be a big deal – and i really don’t see how its anti-religion, if anything, it is definitely within the realms of islam where every individuals deserves to know their rights and act accordingly.Recommend

  • Ali

    Pakistan’s number one in search for porn sites on Google. No wonder, sex education is the need for these desperate individuals.Recommend

  • Mudassar

    That is wonderful idea to get the child educated in his/her early age so that he/she can be well protected and confident enough to enjoy his/her life.Recommend

  • Harsh

    Don’t shy away from the ‘talk’: Your children deserve sex-education

    Rightly said, I live in Middle East few years ago a program was arranged in this context by Ministry of Awqaf for children aged 12 to 18, parents were advised that if they feel comfortable they can attend the session with their children separate arrangements were made for ladies and later on CD’s and info material was made available. The lecture was fantastic and covered all the aspects with detailed Islamic perspective. All the taboos which prevails in our society was discussed at length and with it came a long hour of question and answer session. I accompanied my two sons who were in the age of 12 and 14 they were able to get all what they wanted to know. Further the orator made an excellent point that it is the duty of the Father to dispense all such information to their sons and likewise the mother to their daughters. He further said that this is the education of awareness and should be dispense to every member of society.Recommend

  • Parvez

    Excellent article and this subject needs to be discussed and taught in schools.
    Shutting one’s eyes to a problem will not make it go away and claiming that civilisations have lived and survived without this……and saying this sitting in Houston brings up the equally important subject, that in deep rooted in the Pakistani mindset, of hypocrisy. Recommend

  • Pessimist

    Forget children, grown ups also need sex education in Pakistan.

    Unfortunately, most people don’t even know WHAT sex education is. Whenever this word is ushered, Pakistanis immediately think of intercourse. There is way more to sex ed than that.
    I don’t feel like going on in detail, today’s Sunday!Recommend

  • Umair

    im wondering about coming recommendation for practical lab :/ Recommend

  • Hassan

    If Prophet himself never hesitated to talk about sex, why do we? He was very open about sex education according to Islam and we also read sex-related verses in Quran in front of everybody. Should we not do that either?Recommend

  • https://twitter.com/ToobaHFarooqi TH

    Talking about sex at once wont help the children, first step is to train children from very little age that dont let any one else be in close physical touch with any one. Not even their siblings. Sex education doesn’t mean bombard little kids with such vile information. Its about teaching them how to protect them selves..
    This should be a part of curriculum but not until teen age.Recommend

  • Aizaa

    I totally agree. I know someone to whom it has happened and she gets so psychologically disturbed when that memory hits her that she starts hating her parents, wondering why couldn’t they protect her and make her aware of this?
    Anyhow, parents need to be aware of this so they can give their children proper training and attention.Recommend

  • Assam

    @sehrish i appreciate and endorse your views but i have a question
    Do we even have proper education forget about tabooed stuff? There are many in our society that are still deprived of basic education.Recommend

  • Mehkar Sheikh

    Dear Yasir,

    Seriously?? i mean seriously?? Pakistanis should allow their generations to figure everything out themselves through trial and error, coz you, conveniently sitting in Texas find it inappropriate to guide them in the right direction??

    if this was your attempt at sarcasm, it certainly was a good one.you got me there..Recommend

  • Ammar

    @Yasir:
    very well said brotherRecommend

  • Talha

    @Yasir:

    What are you doing in the United States then?

    A man of your thinking needs to be in Saudi Arabia!Recommend

  • Anonymous

    I was once abused by a relative of mine when i was 9 years old.just because of that I am a little unpredictable at times, but i never looked back . Once i told this to my girl friend. She remained normal to me but at times i regret my decision. I would strongly propose sex education. Enough harm have been done, its time to reform. Recommend

  • XYZ Blogger

    Google can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. Unfortunately young and anxious minds choose the latter.Recommend

  • Taimoor

    How about we first concentrate on providing proper education…Recommend

  • Farrukh

    well i dn’t think that sex education is so important that you have to teach this in schools, colleges and universities. i have a serious question as well “in the modern societies where this education is given weather there are no crime related to women abusing and sex crimes. This education is not the solution specially in society like ours. rather than forcing to teach in colleges and universities it is the responsibility of parents to communicate with their child.Recommend

  • http:[email protected] BachelOrBOy

    Sex is a bestial instinct which no Animal on Earth is being taught by given some special education, same is with Human beings.. In my view a few things are good at keeping them away from our juveniles and sex comes in them too, As our society iz’nt appropriate place where u could emancipate ur younger generation toward profanity and perforation of vulgarity arround… So, it is better until u are putting this thing in crime proportion and remaining scared of it is much more better than to promote and spread such instincts publicly…Recommend

  • SoniaK

    Sehrish ur post is somewhat contradictory- on one hand u suggest introducing it in schools and colleges while on the other u want families to educate kids. Seriously, what is the point that you are trying to make here?

    As for colleges and Universities- dears the subject is widespread in the books at college level. If you are worried that Pre-engineering group does not know anything, most Pre-medical students exchange information as quickly as they learn, so it is not as if they are kept in the dark. As for the O’Levels- they learn everything before they give their O’Levels!! So what more of an introduction do you want. If you really want Matriculation people to know all the facts- first you need to get the system education working to impart the RIGHT education, else you will be just inciting students!!

    You cannot really stop people from visiting illicit sites. Once they learn about the process- they are bound to explore the options- they can only be guided- which is very difficult if there are no mentors!!!!

    Most of the cases you cite are example of INCEST- and that usually happens at very young ages- if you really believe educating a grade 2 child about sex is going to make any difference to our society then please take your case to court!!!!Recommend

  • http://smashinghub.com Ali

    i really appricate, if parents do talk with their childen about sex education. if they do, they can prevent unwanted problems for upcoming future! Recommend

  • http://www.ayeshapervez.com Ayesha Pervez

    Ive told my 7 year old son that he should tell me right away if someone touches him in certain parts or makes him do so. Its very important to tell children that if someone is trying to abuse them in this way, it is not right and they should tell their parents right away!Recommend

  • Saima

    To all of those saying its the religious right who considers it a taboo to discuss sex, seems like you’ve never seen how explicit Hadith and fiqh books can be regarding sex. All this is openly taught in madrasahs, not hidden. Seriously. It’s your desi culture that you’re so proud of that makes sex a taboo, not religion!Recommend

  • mino maniza

    its very important when child reaches puberity……its parental objectives to aware nd facilitate child regarding physical changes nd sexual urges ,especially mother should be subtle nd careful in approaching to this subject.religious nd positive cultural perspectives are necessary in this transfer of knowledge. Alhamdulillah ,i was truelly lucky in the sense my children made well aware of this issue by the school councellars with our mutual consultation ……..no embarasement was felt when discussing nd satisfying my children ‘s curiosity about this issue…proper parental guidence really protects the children from being naive.Recommend

  • umer

    it is non sense to talk about sex to children.Things are simple and i dont think that there is any hidden or complicated thing.However children can share these things with friends openly.Recommend

  • S

    agree with SoniaK. Recommend

  • Nabeel Ahmad

    @Hassan: Excellent point!Recommend

  • E Amin

    @Pessimist:
    I strongly agree with you. People forget that it’s actually a biological process that every human has to go through at one point in their life. I have grown up in England so I have been lucky enough to have been educated about this at a young age at school. This kind of repression is what leads Pakistani men to be so perverted. It causes severe psychological and social damage that is irreversible. Religion doesn’t label sex as “evil”, culture does!! Recommend

  • Insaan

    @Aizaa: I totally agree. I know someone to whom it has happened and she gets so psychologically disturbed when that memory hits her that she starts hating her parents, wondering why couldn’t they protect her and make her aware of this?

    How old was she when this happened? Did she not know what was happening was wrong?
    Why she did not tell this to her parents?Recommend

  • Insaan

    Author “Her mother never taught her how to protect herself physically, causing the woman to experience much psychological trauma.”

    How old was the victim? Did she know what was being done to her was wrong? Did she tell it to her mother?Recommend

  • Insaan

    @Anonymous: I was once abused by a relative of mine when i was 9 years old.just because of that I am a little unpredictable at times

    How do you think your being “little unpredictable at times” related to your child abuse?Recommend

  • Cinnamon

    oh please, Please God! Make somebody introduce a proper subject here…Line up some sane unbiased child psychologists, conduct a detailed research on the thought patterns of various factions of society…and DO SOMETHING about this! Controlled exposure to the subject, something or the other. Basic self-protection first,more later.

    I was nine-ten maybe when my younger brother asks me whether babies could be born without a father, without marriage..and I go all “Yes, Hazrat Isa was born without a father”..all this in my father’s presence, who sternly responded with “Babies cannot be born without a marriage and a father”. As kids, we all see Aunties with baby bumps. Older siblings ask when new siblings come into the family HOW it came about. Kids think & try to figure it out. Why leave it to their tiny brains to find a way around the muddle! WHY? Why not tell them? I’m not even factoring in the ‘abuse’ thing, here..that is just too much for me to even begin imagining.

    My brain went over the “Male gamete.Female gamete.Fusion.Zygote in the female body.How did the male gamete get into the female body?” question for a long time..then i chanced upon the word ‘rape’..and then,i had it half-figured out..and ohhh! how dirty i thought my brain was! Was it better to find out this way? Why not properly educate me about it?

    Even for the most privileged of children,privileged in that their parents & teachers are sensible, there is psychological trauma around the time they figure THIS out! I can’t even begin imagining what actual abuse might do to a child…

    THERE HAS TO BE A WAY TO COUNTER THIS! Recommend

  • Mustahib Naqvi

    hmmmmmmmmmm i strongly agree with u sonia cause i am also 17 and i know how it feels ……………………….Recommend

  • Cinnamon

    @SoniaK:
    You actually think kids’ brains wait till college to think about it? Seriously? Kids live in this very world and however much you may try, you cannot control the external stimuli they receive from the environment. Sensible parents try their best to protect their children always, and teach them about basic self-protection, like Ayesha Pervez said up there, but children get to hear about such stuff! and then they ‘think’ about it and all it leads to is a muddle! Recommend

  • DANY

    I think Life skill based education is vital for children of adolescence age, proper guidance should be given by teachers and parents during changing in their bodies.
    It is very informative article and I really appreciate the writer who dared to write openly and show the reality. Recommend

  • Utkarsh

    @Yasir:
    Societies can survive without electricity, clean water, proper housing, medicine and vaccination, police forces, roads and infrastructure and governments. Your point couldn’t be less logical.

    Sex is not evil or something children need to be protected from. Going by your point, animal societies survive without clothing, and animals have sex with the young ones watching. (I hope you’re not going to say ‘we’re not animals now’! And don’t say that I’m advocating nudism either. Clothing doesn’t hurt, but lack of knowledge about sex can and does).Recommend

  • Book-Keeper

    @ Sonia
    I might not fully agree with the mind-set of the writer here. There aint anything to shy-about, its part of the nature, and that is what is and will be and have been establishing mankind. Did your parents speak to you on this subject upon hitting puberty-stage?
    Moreover, let’s suppose we have flowed the required information to the growing-children, Do you really think talking to children about it would ‘not’ sound attractive to them? & how sure are you here that they wouldn’t not try further digging-in the topic in your absence? In their effort, they might stumble upon the info-pics-vids that isn’t suitable for their tender-age? Then what??
    I believe its very natural that once one hits puberty, your bodily-changes, your mind, assists you in connecting dots to what actually one’s body is capable for and gradually gets self-awared of the reproduction-process. That’s true to the fact.
    Seriously, it isn’t necessory to follow each & and everything that’s been part of the west, so as to satisfy our minds to be a ‘successful’ lot. Or else, be ready for day-to-day unreported rapes or intercourses, just to gain experiece of what’s been taught and told in the sex-education.Recommend

  • Ammar

    hawww shame shame =PRecommend

  • Nobody

    @Yasir
    I don’t know if I should be more disturbed by the fact that you think sex education is inappropriate or the fact that so many people recommended your comment. How is educating teenagers a ‘western’ ideal? No wonder the situation is so bad. As long as people portray sex as a shame shame dirty thing and pervert the beauty of it, it will continue to be ignored leading to far bigger problems. Sex education doesn’t lead to rampant teenage sex contrary to what some people think. Young people will have sex, married or not, if they want to and not much can stop them to be frank. If they are educated, they will be equipped with the knowledge necessary before taking such a big step. As far as looking at it from a moral/religious perspective, that is the parents’ responsibility to teach their child what and how they want. Not informing them is a huge mistake. Children do not know they’re being sexually abused because they were never taught what it is and that it isn’t right for someone to touch you in certain places. The psychological affect haunts them for the rest of their life once they reach adult hood. Resolution: educate! Knowledge is power. Recommend

  • Nobody

    @MK:
    Agreed. People seem to be under the impression that education will somehow corrupt the youth. The youth is already finding out about sex, just not always in the right place. Wish people understood how to remedy that….

    @Yasir: Surviving is NOT flourishing. Even from a religious point of view, nowhere in Islam is sex education a bad thing. Recommend

  • Nobody

    @umer:
    I fear for your children. The physicality of sex is easy and innate. Alllll that comes with it is NOT. The animal kingdom is a bit different; emotions are not felt on a human level. The physical aspect is simple and usually needs no explanation; the feeling side of it needs responsibility and knowledge for all.Sexual ABUSE or sexual perversion is far too big an issue to ignore. Kids need to know these things so they can know it’s wrong if they’re being touched. Recommend

  • Moaz BS

    Firstly, a very well written essay, miss Wasif. Very adequately composed. But there are some points I’d like to contradict or lets say I’d like to provide an explanation to, according to my sense of the matter at hand. I personally think that sex education is important but telling a 5 year old kid how he/she was born and how she came out of her mom’s belly sound’s pretty absurd to me. Might as well scare the kid away. So I suppose at that tender age and for that tender mind, the ‘angel’s-basket’ story should work fine.
    Later when he grows up, let’s say 11 or 12 years old, he must be told everything. But the thing is, it’s a delicate issue. If the information being provided itself is provocative towards something that is being avoided in the first place, then it’d be a double loss. For example, if a kid is provided with a partial knowledge about sex, with the reference to his growing genitals and other physical changes, it has to be admitted that he’d find it VERY interesting. And to satiate his curiosity he’ll go to the internet or discuss with his friends which then again might lead him to a path which was nothing but the intention behind the sex education.
    My point is that sex-education must be provided but in a way that is effective, rather than erotic.
    Cheers for an amazingly written article, once again.Recommend

  • Adnan Ahmed Sial

    @Sehrish:

    You covered many topics in an article which clearly tells you lack most of obvious information about the society. Firstly, every society has its own norms and principles that’s why they are separate from others. And about sex-ed, girl usually seek such education from her mother and it is common in society such things are appropriately done in Pakistan. Boy gets such education from his peers or from their religious people. Puberty issues are usually told in detailed to all teenagers.

    Secondly, You also talked about sexual abuse and your reason is totally ridiculous. Our media is controlling the minds of our young generation. Here, there is only need for better parenting i.e. restraining from bad things and allowing for good things. I am amazed how people think that our religion bound our women. its pity!!!
    Recommend

  • http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

    It’s like something Stephen Colbert said..

    “Educating people about safe-sex practices is going to encourage them to become more sexually active, just like installing fire-extinguishers would encourage people to start more fires”

    I’m sure our countrymen believe that the best way to combat unwanted pregnancies and rampant STD spread is to shut our eyes and pretend that people won’t have sex as long as they’re kept uninformed about these matters. May I point out how hideously outdated this approach is?Recommend

  • Ab REhman

    Well, the author has some valuable points in her discussion. Islam has banned sex but at the same time stressed upon Nikah. Nikah has been made too difficult and expensive (by self/society made requirements i.e Jahez, pomp and show, customs etc.) to be practiced. The gap has turns us to a sex-hungery nation where no female dares to come out of home or must face harassment at each and every nook.So, first Nikah must be made easy. Rest I agree that parents must devise a plan in wise words to educate the children about the gender and physical changes with puberty along with Islamic teachings. Recommend

  • Insaan

    @Yasir: “Civilizations have lived and survived without this education”

    People live and survive in Pakistan why do you live in Texas.

    Sex education is not meant to encourage young people to have sex or teach them how to do it.

    It is about teaching how things function, what is normal and STDs.
    Most young people can see EVERYTHING about sex on Internet now a days.Recommend

  • Insaan

    @Saima: “like you’ve never seen how explicit Hadith and fiqh books can be regarding sex”.
    Do you have any link to that information on the internet?Recommend

  • Benish

    A very well written blog and than Sehrish for highlighting this very important issue of our society. One of my younger sisters also became victim of sexual abuse when she was just ten years old. And now she is 31 and she is suffering a psychological trauma. Due to the generation gap she was unable to share it with her elder bro and sis and even with parents..Recommend

  • http://uptonogood.tumblr.com Red

    I asked my mother how babies came out when I was very small. It’s a question that piqued my curiosity a lot as I imagined the stomach opening up and was never quite sure that’s how it happened. She told me exactly where they came out from and I appreciate that. I also got, not perfect, but good enough information about bodily changes. I never asked more questions. However, I did come across a biology book in our house which had detailed diagrams so I learnt about body parts, sex and pregnancy from a good source. I can’t imagine a biology book like that ever making its way into our school system which is a pity. I learnt about child abuse from Aangan’s articles in US magazine. By age 12-13, I was reading novels for adults so that rounded up the “education”. Novels are really bad sources though. Also, I don’t get why it’s alright for children to read novels but not watch movies with the same themes. I wasn’t reading junk, but just like movies, most novels do have a side story that deals with issues like child abuse, rape, marriages/affairs, murders/assaults and strong language. The internet is better but only if you access informative sites. Children never access informative sites unless they want to know something and you don’t know what information you are missing at that age. I’m pretty sure I learnt about sexual diseases and contraception much later. Now for the comments…

    SoniaK: I never took biology in O-levels so if you imagine that everyone gets proper information by that age out of their school education you are mistaken.
    Moaz BS: You mistake the ability of children to process information. Like I said, I was told exactly how babies are born as a child and I understood it. That is it. No eww reaction whatsoever. That only comes when adults act all weird around certain topics instead of treating it as a part of life.
    All those who think children do not seek such information if they are not told of it are also mistaken. I can’t imagine reaching high school without this information. I sought it out and read it at a young age. Also, children talk…this information, true or false, is all the rage around a certain age. I didn’t understand what they were joking about so I actually lagged behind my class mates in terms of information which means they probably had some idea by the time they were 11 without any sex-ed. Wrong information, without any safety information, is worse than correct information. Which also brings me to the point that, whether you are aware of it or not, pre-marital sex is common in the country. Women get pregnant and have to go for abortions. It is far better to educate people than leave them to experiment on their own with what little understanding they have. Moreover, many people do not have the correct information even by the time they get married! It’s absolutely shocking and unacceptable. Recommend

  • http://whatprice.com.pk Nasir

    I don’t think it will work here
    parents dont know better than their children about sex Recommend

  • khalid

    There is no need of sex education beacause we have never got it but still we have all the education.Recommend

  • Rizwan

    Once again buddy, you hit the jackpot. Wonderful and very modestly written. Good job ! I am so happy to see this topic coming up. Well, if proper sex education is not given to a child then they are likely to be more vulnerable to those websites that the child discovers and thn learning a wrong side of it. Child really needs to learn about sex education and its the duty of their parents/teachers to decide the way of their learning either they tell themselves or leave them to the hands of those exponential sites. Recommend

  • Pessimist

    Although a couple of comments have made a mention, I would also like to say that if we teach our children sex education, child molestation will take a serious fall. As I mentioned in a previous blog, most children don’t know or realise they have been molested. By the time they realise it, the damage has already been done :/Recommend

  • http://twitter.com/bohotsaara Sarah B. Haider

    OMG Everyone’s favourite keyword in Pakistan!

    P.S. Good article. I would like to learn the right way of explaining this to my kids, when i will have them!Recommend

  • The Khan

    The next joke: Will there be practicals Recommend

  • Benish

    What a pity on this nation who talks about all useless thing but not about the core issues that are destroying our future generation..Keep up the good work Ms Wasif. You always come up with a thought provoking topics.Recommend

  • BenishIts me again

    sad to see Pak media only highlights political issues and not the issues which need to be discussed more. thanks to tribune for highlighting such issues..CheersRecommend

  • SoniaK

    @Cinnamon:
    I do not negate your concern about children being safe from incest and molestation and parents being responsible for that, my concern is that this education should not be given at school level. Till 10th grade a student no doubt has a vague to clear idea of many systems, but till then I believe parents should take full responsibility of the sources of information.

    Sex education in a leveled manner can be offered by parents!

    @Sehrish:
    I do see the whole point of your post now. Sorry for being critical earlier :) It is not contradictory. On the contrary a child’s education in this subject starts from his/her home and goes on till the fantasies of the subject wane. All the while, for the child to not go off the track, the child needs to be mentored to be a human and direct their energies for the better of the society!Recommend

  • RAZA

    I am loving it.Recommend

  • mrXYZ

    the people in this region have survived without sex education for over thousand years and i think there is not a special need for sex education we need to focus more on other things than that maybe we need more moral education, tolerance,human rights, patience and more about our religion ( the true and beatiful teachings of islam ) if we follow the the teachings of islam as the holy prophet pbuh and his companions did most of our problems will be solved .
    but alas nobody is ready to do that and is trying to bring his own solutions but as true believer of islam we should know that quran is is guideline for us for all times till the doomsday and if we follow the instructions we can live a successful and peaceful life .
    the fact is that the western countries have applied the ethical teachings of islam in their lifes but we are just claiming to be muslims but we are not paying attention to what islam teaches us .
    if you read the UNO clauses regarding humanrights they are completely taken from the last sermon of hajjatul vidah by the holy prophet .
    but unfortunately in our country which was established in the name of islam these clauses are neglected and violatedRecommend

  • critical

    @The Khan:
    The next joke: Will there be practicals

    The Theory session to educate the children not to indulge in practicals whether knowingly or when others force them to do

    @Yasir: “Civilizations have lived and survived without this education”
    Civilizations have lived and survived without this electricity too….Please ask PSEG to cut off your electrical connection so that your house in Houston can be similar to how it was in 7th century Medina…BTW,what are doing in Houston anyway with ur mindset?? Selling falafels?

    @Insaan:
    How do you think your being “little unpredictable at times” related to your child abuse?
    A case study has revealed that most of the serial killers and rapists have experienced child abuse and develop a mentality to propagate itRecommend

  • Hopeful Citizen

    @Adnan Ahmed Sial:

    Not everybody is able to acquire such education. Many males/females aren’t able to acquire it from the sources you mentioned, especially in cases where such individuals aren’t present. Therefore, it is really presumptuous of you to assume that every single individual acquires information through such means, especially when there are cases mentioned like those in this very article. A broad-based education system is necessary to provide individuals with the right information, otherwise approaching different means could potentially work against the individual.

    @khalid:

    We have all the education, that’s why problems like such are mentioned in articles, right?Recommend

  • Rashid

    I would like to ask all those who advocate sex education for children in schools.

    Were you given formal sex education when you were young?
    If Not, then were you at loss in your married life?

    Sex education for children is the responsibility of parents only. They educate their children when it is required and this is the proper and effective way.Recommend

  • ANEES

    I am not agree with writers view. I think to have this knowledge in our societies, its natural order of getting this know how how deal puberty and related issues. Looking at having this education to the masses are vague and inappropriate. we are in society where these information are transferred automatically to coming class(generation). Just to say that internet can make them wrong information or their are chance of getting wrong information instead of right one, how many people are this facility hardly few in cities.Recommend

  • ignorantways

    Author is from Elite class . . . thats why she don’t know about the social behaviors of 21st century’s children of below poverty, poor, lower middle class . . .

    7-8 years old boy knows more than Author about this topic . . .but may be he don’t familiar with english terms and technical aspects . .

    if author is yet willing to localize this education in proper way , then it means her forefathers were completely missed this precious knowledge at their times . . . so she should have to follow them . . . else her existing knowledge will vanished soon . . Recommend

  • Mano

    @Yasir:
    lol @ Houston, Texas. We would have respected your opinion even if you were located in Lalamusa, Punjab or Mansehra, KPK ?

    Best Regards,
    Mano
    Lahore, Punjab ;)Recommend

  • Naveed

    Agree with Yasir that civilizations have lived and survived without sex education, and sex education will not benefit young generation but will create more frustration and will damage the Islamic culture more and more.

    Only the Islamic Education can be the only solution for all problem and thats it.Recommend

  • Insaan

    @Ayesha Pervez: “Ive told my 7 year old son that he should tell me right away if someone touches him in certain parts or makes him do so.”

    Little boys are curious about girls. Do you think boys should be told not to touch girls?Recommend

  • Working Woman

    Nicely written. Yes, children should be educated about how to take care of themselves and grownups need sex education right from the family.

    Educated & Sensible Parents: Please decide for how much dose of this is to be injected to your child depending upon what environment they live in and what age they are.Recommend

  • Moiz Rehan

    @Taimoor:
    Well, how do we know that “proper” education can’t be inclusive of sex-ed? As far as the word “proper” is concerned, I think sex-ed is definitely a very proper thing to be taught if done right!Recommend

  • Moiz Rehan

    @SoniaK:
    From my understanding of the article, the two aspects that you listed seem to be more complimentary than contradictory! Won’t you agree that that parents should educate their children about topics such as puberty from an early age and then this should be enforced through education in schools and colleges? I believe that Shehrish is giving us a really practical solution to the many problems that our society faces in terms of sexual abuse by suggesting that both parents and educational institutions should play their part in spreading Sex-ed!Recommend

  • aaaa

    @Mehkar Sheikh:
    in texas, no sex ed and they preach abstinence Recommend

  • KM

    @Yasir:
    Yasir
    sex education is about awareness. Do you want children and adults to stay ignorant? and could you kindly explain what this ‘automatic communication’ is that you are referring to?

    You have not really given any real rationale, with logic as to why you are opposing?

    Please try and be more logical next time before you dismiss ideasRecommend

  • Shamim

    They have sex education in the USA and lots of pre-marital and teenage pregnencies. Sex education only makes liberals happy.Recommend