Musharraf has my vote!
In case you guys missed it, ex-dictator (now plain-suited) Pervez Musharraf put up a video on his Facebook page last night with a rather abstract question for his horde of loving fans.
The question was:
Are Pakistani people capable of differentiating good from bad?
It is perhaps the first time this self serving, love-fest of a page has actually caught my attention – perhaps because this is also the first time I have seen Musharraf actually pose a question which had the potential to alienate and confuse his doting minions, and I just LOVE to see a hero shoot himself in the foot.
Fully expecting a George Fulton/Fasi Zaka style rant about what slime we Pakistanis are, I turned on the video with a wide grin on my face, excited to see Mush lay into the Pakistan psyche and then anticipating a fun read through the (expected) 1,000 comments on how General sahib had ‘betrayed’ his flock by calling them all cockroaches.
The video opens with some cheesy piano theme from a mild-mannered horror movie. Okay, I can live with that.
Mushie is seated on a fairly impressive (but not too impressive because he’s all ‘civvie’ now) desk. Lame, but bearable, now lay it on me!
Opening sentence (I kid you not):
I think in the rural areas, really they are… not so much in the knowledge of uhh, things that are happening around…
*really awkward and obvious cut*
…therefore they may not be able to discern between people.
Oh damn! Did Musharraf just insinuate that 80 per cent of our population cannot differentiate good from bad?
In the urban areas indeed I think there is a sense of right and wrong.
He did! He so totally did insinuate that our jaahil qaum has no moral compass and that we the urban overlords with our fancy mobiles and Gucci bags know where it’s at. I mean, I love my Gucci bag to death and do think that I know best, but even I wouldn’t have admitted that to 200,000 desperately patriotic Pakistanis.
But again because of the overall environment, if you see in certain areas there is a tribal environment; there is a feudal environment in certain areas; in other areas there are clans and zaats and zaat bradaris, because of which the sense of right and wrong gets distorted.
Okay, I see where this is going. I’ve heard enough MQM chit chat to see an agenda creeping in here. But somehow it just rings so hollow to blame feudalism for a lack of morality among people no? That’s a big leap of logic (and issues) isn’t it? I know you have to cover up for the fact that in the previous sentence you just said a majority of the population is comprised of a rabid horde, but really? Feudalism? This is such a simplistic statement to make its just plain farce and not worth delving into. I’ll leave that to the ultra-liberal military-bashing types to rant about in detail.
Last sentence (translated):
The nation should realize what is good for the country and who is good for the country.
Hey, you’ve got my vote. Not only did you just bash most of Pakistan and declare that the urban, morally upstanding supremos should continue to rule (because they have been doing so well in their urban fantasy lands), you also managed to slip in a ‘vote for me’ while doing it. If I wasn’t about to puke from the sheer gushing love your commenting fans have left for you on that video post, I would say congratulations: you have won Nadya’s prize for most-out-of-touch-dictator-video-blog 2010.
The blogger wishes to inform her audience that this is a sarcastic critique and would appreciate if commenters keep that in mind.
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.