5 Pakistani men we also envy

Published: August 16, 2012

Every man has had a crush on another man at some point in their lives. DESIGN: ERUM SHAIKH

Inspired by this bizarre article in The Express Tribune called ‘Five Pakistani women we envy

Every man has had a crush on another man at some point in their lives. Before you start beating your breast and wailing “Oh my god, that’s sick”, calm down and take it in the light-hearted spirit in which women are expected to embrace the concept of ‘girl crushes’. 

The following five Pakistani men are so fabulous and so amazing that we’d be surprised if you haven’t crushed on them at some point in your life.

1.     Quaid-e-Azam

This amazing man created Pakistan and looked totally amazing while doing so. His rangy height and sculpted cheekbones wouldn’t look out of place on any runway ramp anywhere in the world. Put together with his daring fashion sense – those stylish sherwanis, Jinnah caps and spiffy suits from Savile Row – and his gorgeous accessory, trophy wife Ruttie Jinnah, we can’t help but envy how awesome he looked while creating Pakistan and then dying of consumption, leaving the country in a chaotic mess.

2.     Dr A Q Khan

The father of atomic bomb chic, this mysterious man leaves hearts aflutter with his mysterious demeanour.  Not to mention those totally amazing Ray-Ban shades which he rocks whether he’s fathering our nuclear program or selling our nuclear secrets to Iran and North Korea. His salt and pepper hair, rugged face, and brawny forearms make you want to recite the periodic table all day long. He’ll blast his way into your heart and leave it thrumming with radioactive energy for many half-lives to come.

3.     Shahid Afridi

Afridi’s boyish good looks, street-urchin charm, and special relationship with the English language have won him hearts the world over. He can even make those hideous lime-green Pakistan cricket team uniforms look good. Don’t you envy his international jet-setting lifestyle, his hobnobbing with the world’s best sportsmen and his devotion to good causes such as the elimination of dandruff? Sure, he may be known as a complete diva b****, but at least he gets the job done – and does it well.

4.     Altaf Hussain

There are no words to describe the amazing-ness of this amazing man. You know you want to live in London and command the devotion and loyalty of millions of people in Karachi, just by calling them up on the telephone and letting them listen to your melodious voice. The hairstyle, the Ray-Bans, the starched Junaid Jamshed kurtas make him the envy of every man in Pakistan. If you met him at a party, you wouldn’t be able to even talk, you’d be so struck by his magnificent aura.

5.     Imran Khan

Here we come to the biggest man crush of all. The king of bromance, the lord of brotherly love. You cannot move when Imran Khan is in the room. His masculinity, his broad shoulders, his noble demeanour just paralyses every man in a five mile vicinity, making them take leave of their senses and prostrating in front of his sultry face, toned body, and amazing pompadour. This man could be wrapped in a garbage bag and still look good. Look how he goes around the world and conquers women of all nationalities. If only we had his life.

*Inspired also by a recent news item where a reporter recently asked Hilary Clinton what clothes designers she favoured.

The Secretary of State replied,

“Would you ask that question of a man?”

The reporter had to say,

“No. No, I probably wouldn’t.”

Seriously, isn’t it time we valued women for their achievements, instead of their youth, beauty, and sexuality?

Read more by Bina here or follow her on Twitter @BinaShah

bina.shah

Bina Shah

Writer and columnist. Author of Slum Child. She tweets @BinaShah (twitter.com/BinaShah)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • san

    utter non-sense and garbage blog Recommend

  • sherry

    :) well written
    i was a bit surprised to see Altaf bhai in the list but you justified it quite well,
    enjoyed reading it…Recommend

  • http://pakistani-revival.blogspot.com Ovais

    lol at altaff hussain … waisay if that is the case then even i have hope :)Recommend

  • entropy

    Bina Shah realizes that infantile contrarianism is the way to get published on ET, but she hasn’t quite got the hang of it yet. This blog was truly awful.Recommend

  • Noman Ansari

    I like the blog. You’ve turned the tables. If it is ridiculous to read a list about women who are admired for their looks rather than their achievements, why isn’t the same OK for men? Recommend

  • A

    That article was garbage. But his one is bigger garbage. Bina is so boring in her writings. Recommend

  • Golden horde

    All good but altaf hussain???? R u serious?
    Look at him again will u!Recommend

  • Siddiqui

    this is much more garbage than the article you are trying to make fun of…
    people should realise when they are making fun of themselves…Recommend

  • Ducky

    @san:
    Its called sarcasm. Look it up.Recommend

  • Zeta

    altaf hussain? seriously.Recommend

  • hala

    this was hilarious
    even more hilarious is that people have seemed to entirely miss the point Recommend

  • Bina Shah

    The average Pakistani doesn’t get water or electricity, I guess sarcasm is a luxury.Recommend

  • Saeed Afridi

    Will if someone wants to read for Fun then its good to read this blog, otherwise everything written is nonsense.Recommend

  • Ali

    Excellent point, poorly communicated.Recommend

  • Redah

    Why are feminists so angry and vileRecommend

  • Munis

    I find this very hilarious . Bravo BinaRecommend

  • Rabia

    Thank you for having Altaf bhai in this list. This guy is indeed phenomenalRecommend

  • Fawwad

    Disagree with some points but well written Bina !
    Enjoyed reading the blog :)Recommend

  • Ayesha

    It would have been sarcasm if Jinnah, Afridi and Imran Khan wern’t included, they are (were) actually good looking. Sarcasm needs to be consistent or left out. Recommend

  • Naraib

    What was a celebration of women was turned into mudslinging against womenRecommend

  • Shahid Ashraf

    Looking at men from an entirely different angle. I liked the article and particularly your courage to write about Jinnah and AQ Khan. Great reading, thoroughly enjoyed! :)Recommend

  • http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/author/749/muhammad-umair-savul/ Muhammad Umair Savul

    i don’t want to live on the earth where men envy Altaf HussainRecommend

  • Saqib

    Well written and interesting facts. Recommend

  • http://twitter.com/SamiSaayer Sami Saayer

    our lady in a comment above, just called herself an ABOVE AVERAGE Pakistani, who is apparently privileged to understand (and write) sarcasmRecommend

  • Parvez

    Now that made me laugh.
    I hope it was supposed to make me laugh because otherwise it would be stupidly hilarious.Recommend

  • Xara

    You put Quaid-e-Azam n altaf hussain in the same blog. i Couldnt get a bit of ur blog but seriously shame on you Recommend

  • entropy

    @Ducky:

    Its called sarcasm. Look it up.

    I did, and here’s what it said:”Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”Recommend

  • filzah

    great wit, Bina! However, I can bet you on that more than half of readers weren’t able to overcome the fact that you mentioned altaf husein in the list of desirable men and the rest half weren’t able to comprehend the sarcasm behind this article. Recommend

  • Aasim Mukhtar

    I guess we need to Keep Quaid-e-Azam out of such sarcasm, because whatever he was, we owe our Identity to him. Recommend

  • Arshad Qureshi

    article may be little sarcastic but very well justified by logic, people like it or not followers of MQM love altaf hussain to death, none of the political leader in pakistan has die hard followers like altaf hussain … he may not be that good looking to be model but his ideology is matchless and the only solution of all problems of pakistan …Recommend

  • http://www.zafarimam.wordpress.com Zafar Imam

    @entropy:
    It is not sarcasm, but more improved version of it: Satire. And Satire needs sharp sense of humor backed by wit. Good job Bina, i liked it.Recommend

  • Tina blah

    By writing this and mocking the writer, you basically called all the women’s achievements stupid. If a woman is smart n beautiful, why does it bother you so much? Recommend

  • bball

    @Bina Shah: ‘the average Pakistani doesn’t get water or electricity, i guess sarcasm is a luxury’
    Sarcasms have ranks and class also – not every supposed insult or an attempt between the lines is amazing – and this certainly wasn’t. I hope that u get that…Recommend

  • http://www.kabacreations.com Vishnu Dutta

    you missed Zardari sahab!! he is the most successful and achieving man of pakistan today.Recommend

  • Haseeb

    @tina blah: because Bina isn’t Recommend

  • xyz

    altaf bhai hahahaha and shahid afridi or should i cal him captain coward. yea hes a bit good looking but never rated him as a player and never will. hes the same guy who left Team Pakistan in the middle of a tour in England against the aussies. he could have done it gracefully at the end of that test series. and then salman butt was given charge who did what no other Pakistani captain could have done by winning the very next match against one of the best team in the world. had he not been involved in that scandal he easily could have become one of the best captains in the game as he had that innovation and deep thinking which afridi never hadRecommend

  • Aruna Hussain

    Haha, fun read!!Recommend

  • umair

    WHAT IS THIS ?Recommend

  • Anam

    ewww.Altaf Hussian? Seriously girl um not getting your point !Recommend

  • Dinky Mind

    Time well wasted! :|Recommend

  • Marium

    I LOVED THIS. LOVED…I loved this let loose, let’s write something fun blog. Loved every description.
    p.s: The Imran Khan trolls obviously do not approve of Altaf Hussain being mentioned in the same blog when it came to utterly good looking men. Recommend

  • MAT

    Hats off to Bina Shah, i was also quite angry to read that absurd article “5 women we envy” by saba khalidRecommend

  • talha

    thats what called stupidity, unrealistic blog, i cant understand how it get printed. Recommend

  • https://twitter.com/pugnate Noman Ansari

    @talha:
    Well, to be fair, it wasn’t actually ‘printed’.Recommend

  • Shayan Rizwan

    Hahaha! Sarcasm at its peak! Good work! Loved reading it!Recommend

  • saleem

    u have chosen wrong poersonalities under the title of ur so called article.. poor job.i dont know how such stupidities get published….Recommend

  • http://maisamasif.blogspot.com Maisam Merchant

    At-least don’t try to make fun of Quaid E Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah.Recommend

  • Hasan Umar

    Thanks a lot for ruining my precious 3 minutes of life!!
    Altaf Hussain’s aura…You seriously need to visit some good doctor..Recommend

  • Raw is War

    Idiotic. What is there to envy? Recommend

  • what the………..

    BIna Shah please do something else, ET please stop publishing garbage.Recommend

  • http://thedabbabrigade.wordpress.com RiffyR

    I don’t see what’s wrong with the post, except for maybe the choice of a cover photo. Recommend

  • Rida Khan

    This isn’t sarcasm. This is an unaccomplished try at it.Recommend

  • Mariam khan

    Writing is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public…Paulo Coelho….and ET from your blogs you always proved this…..cmon grow up….yes it isn’t sarcasm at all!Recommend

  • http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/author/1108/shan-nasir/ Shan Nasir

    hahahha! GA Altaf Hussain!!Recommend

  • Tanzeel

    Rubbish..’Recommend

  • Ayaz khan

    what the hell is Aftab(telephone) doing here?????…totally mmmmm…..huhh!Recommend

  • Omar

    @san:
    Couldn’t agree more. Was reading another article of the same writer and it was closed for commenting and it was really hurting (the post was named “Nudity, Niqab and the illusion of ‘free choice’ “)

    well all i could see bina talking about and other tribune blogger is women empowerment, women being slaves to men and the horrific veils and this monstrosity of a world asking the women to cover their bodies what an unearthly planet has it become. Where is the humanity? Well to be honest I visited here for some good reads but all i find is political, gender, and even the opinion biasing The posts have been somehow crafted to make someone or some targeted group or audience who most probably are sitting in their farm houses not even giving a damn about her.

    So seriously Bina you like aura of Altaf hussain and you want women going commando (naked) if you may. you talk about free will and then try to brain wash their free will by calling them @$%^ cause even @$%^ and prostitutes wear a veil. and i find people will irrelevant and poor comments fighting like 4 years old girls for their barbies and presenting their childish debate-like points like grown ups.

    For all I could say is that this whole blog is biased and I say it with true heart hurting to see an independent media that you guys wanted and misusing it. come on grow up okay we know now that you dont like those mullas and all but dont you go kamikaze upon the well mannered and well cultured women. Yes there may be prostitutes dressing up in veils too, doesnt mean all of them are prostitutes like all the girls wearing jeans are not (the point you wanted to prove but failed rigorously)

    The biased role has also been observed in an article about a scientist and a national hero who was and is well received by the country till he being a free man chose to leave his country over his personal opinions (gave importance to his beliefs rather than country) no one disowned him but himself from the country. but the blame is put on Pakistan govt and sharia. well I would also like you to go visit the basics of Islam?sharia like you cant skip to Ph.D directly from montessori . the same way you cant like be called a muslim if u dont even believe in the basic of the basic essence and most important step of your faith. being said so he is still a hero who chose to leave his country. and there one @Laura commenting to a person like she will order drones to his house the next day for being a little touchy about his beliefs. why isn’t he free to think what he thinks.while the writer like most writes of this blog bring a social problem which are faced in all over the world not just Pakistan yet everyone makes it like an issue US should come and put an end too. dont mix the religion to a social problem.

    and by the way even the women who dress like almost naked in the US who you so admire are called sluts whores and prostitutes in their country. which concludes that men want their women to be covered and i say covered not like a tent but like a lady not because ppl will see the diamond he gifted her and engraved on her thigh of between her breasts but to preserve the respect and beauty of their women and its the same reason women agree or choose to wear it.

    Thank you.

    May GOD bless you all including the writer and bless us all with a sound mind a positive one.Recommend

  • Omar

    @Bina Shah the writer.

    one of your new posts says this about the troll (the ppl with most likes on your page who dont agree with your opinion)

    the ire of several dozen internet trolls who branded me as the blogger who “supports nudity”.

    well just go up and read your own statements and wording about the women who wear veils and should not be wearing it because in Pakistan even the prostitutes wear them u said and i qoute

    and why is it so hard for you to admit your short comings how will you ever learn?

    Alas. us trolls for speaking the demonic words of veils and cloth. shame on usRecommend