5 Pakistani men we also envy
Inspired by this bizarre article in The Express Tribune called ‘Five Pakistani women we envy‘
Every man has had a crush on another man at some point in their lives. Before you start beating your breast and wailing “Oh my god, that’s sick”, calm down and take it in the light-hearted spirit in which women are expected to embrace the concept of ‘girl crushes’.
The following five Pakistani men are so fabulous and so amazing that we’d be surprised if you haven’t crushed on them at some point in your life.
This amazing man created Pakistan and looked totally amazing while doing so. His rangy height and sculpted cheekbones wouldn’t look out of place on any runway ramp anywhere in the world. Put together with his daring fashion sense – those stylish sherwanis, Jinnah caps and spiffy suits from Savile Row – and his gorgeous accessory, trophy wife Ruttie Jinnah, we can’t help but envy how awesome he looked while creating Pakistan and then dying of consumption, leaving the country in a chaotic mess.
2. Dr A Q Khan
The father of atomic bomb chic, this mysterious man leaves hearts aflutter with his mysterious demeanour. Not to mention those totally amazing Ray-Ban shades which he rocks whether he’s fathering our nuclear program or selling our nuclear secrets to Iran and North Korea. His salt and pepper hair, rugged face, and brawny forearms make you want to recite the periodic table all day long. He’ll blast his way into your heart and leave it thrumming with radioactive energy for many half-lives to come.
3. Shahid Afridi
Afridi’s boyish good looks, street-urchin charm, and special relationship with the English language have won him hearts the world over. He can even make those hideous lime-green Pakistan cricket team uniforms look good. Don’t you envy his international jet-setting lifestyle, his hobnobbing with the world’s best sportsmen and his devotion to good causes such as the elimination of dandruff? Sure, he may be known as a complete diva b****, but at least he gets the job done – and does it well.
4. Altaf Hussain
There are no words to describe the amazing-ness of this amazing man. You know you want to live in London and command the devotion and loyalty of millions of people in Karachi, just by calling them up on the telephone and letting them listen to your melodious voice. The hairstyle, the Ray-Bans, the starched Junaid Jamshed kurtas make him the envy of every man in Pakistan. If you met him at a party, you wouldn’t be able to even talk, you’d be so struck by his magnificent aura.
5. Imran Khan
Here we come to the biggest man crush of all. The king of bromance, the lord of brotherly love. You cannot move when Imran Khan is in the room. His masculinity, his broad shoulders, his noble demeanour just paralyses every man in a five mile vicinity, making them take leave of their senses and prostrating in front of his sultry face, toned body, and amazing pompadour. This man could be wrapped in a garbage bag and still look good. Look how he goes around the world and conquers women of all nationalities. If only we had his life.
*Inspired also by a recent news item where a reporter recently asked Hilary Clinton what clothes designers she favoured.
“Would you ask that question of a man?”
The reporter had to say,
“No. No, I probably wouldn’t.”
Seriously, isn’t it time we valued women for their achievements, instead of their youth, beauty, and sexuality?
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.