Shafilea’s honour killing: Will we ever learn?

Published: August 4, 2012

The police today shied away from the word 'honour' and instead insisted that Shafilea was just murdered, simply murdered by her own parents. PHOTO: REUTERS

Like so many second or third generation British Pakistani girls, Shafilea Ahmed wanted to socialise with her ‘gora’ (white) friends, wear western clothes and have a boyfriend.

The reality was very different and sour; daily beatings, turning up to school with cuts and bruises, a life of violence subjected by her parents Iftikhar and Farzana, which eventually led to her death in 2003.

The police shied away from the word ‘honour’ this time and instead insisted that Shafilea was just murdered, simply murdered. Despite the cultural sensitivity from the Cheshire police, it is clear that an honour killing did occur and more significantly, it wasn’t stopped in time to save Shafilea’s life.

“She was being squeezed between two cultures – the culture and way of life that she saw around her and wanted to embrace, and the culture and way of life you wanted to impose on her”

Justice Roderick Evans said to the parents during the sentencing at the Chester Crown Court in northwest England.

The judge further stated,

“Your problem was that, in what you referred to as your ‘community’, Shafilea’s conduct was bringing shame upon you, and your concern about being shamed in your community was greater than your love for your child.”

“You chose to bring up your family in Warrington, but although you lived in Warrington, your social and cultural attitudes were those of rural Pakistan and it was those you imposed on your children.”

All this makes me question myself and the society at large; why can’t we find a balance between the East and West and learn from the horrific murder of this young innocent girl?

I find myself asking why traditionalist Pakistanis, like the Ahmeds’, came to the UK in the first place if they wanted their children to be quiet, spineless, obedient robots that upheld ‘their honour’ and nothing else.

All this pressure and abuse from her parents pushed Shafilea to drink bleach in Pakistan, six months before she died in an attempt to protest against her parent’s wishes to arrange her marriage to a cousin ten years her senior– a tale familiar to many native Pakistanis. Alarmingly, this sort of abuse is widespread in the UK.

Saima Afzal, an independent member of the Lancashire Police Authority, said there were plenty of anecdotes about the scope of the problem, but no statistics to back it up.

“In the UK we talk about a yearly figure of 10,000 honour crimes but that is just a guess-timate, I think it is far deeper than that,” she said.

Last year, the Iranian and Kurdish Women’s Rights Organisation (IKWRO) revealed that almost 3,000 honour related attacks took place in Britain in 2011 alone. Of course these statistics cover a variety of ethnic minorities, not just Pakistanis, but the message is still the same:

Why can’t we put honour to one side and understand our children first?

After all it was our decision to have them live in a foreign country!

Many British Pakistani communities across the country remain segregated within a subculture that pressurises parents to adhere to traditionalist values no matter how backwards they may be.

Some girls that don’t wear shalwar kameez 24/7 are verbally abused because they prefer jeans and a t-shirt. Then they are forced to marry somebody because this shall, apparently, ‘straighten them out’ as per their parents. This is just a small example that may seem inane, but in the 21st century, it is ridiculous to force young girls to conform to such restrictions.

What people fail to realise is that, we are a younger generation that simply adapts to the environment we live in. This doesn’t make us bad people and certainly doesn’t mean we will forget or have forgotten our culture or heritage.

As Pakistanis growing up in the west, we need parents that will support and understand our way of life-not the opposite.

Mr and Mrs Ahmed were ashamed of their daughter, a girl that would’ve been a lawyer today had she still been alive. As a form of control, they tried to suppress her lifestyle and it cost them 25 years of imprisonment.

Shafilea’s death is a wake-up call to all generations of Pakistan. We cannot let such barbaric, and might I add, idiotic behaviour that takes place in the name of so-called pride or preventing the ‘westernisation’ of our children.

We can only hope that people with the same attitude as Shafilea’s parents will learn from her death and love their children unconditionally, whatever path they may choose.

Read more by Zab here, or follow her on Twitter @zabmustafa

Zab Mustefa

Zab Mustefa

Zab Mustefa is a British journalist who specialises in women's rights and culture. She tweets @zabmustefa (twitter.com/zabmustefa)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Ambreen

    I hope Shafilea rests in peace. Recommend

  • AFGHAN

    Why would these so called Ghairatmand (honorable) people go and settle in one of those western countries in the first place? If they have no guts to see their sisters and daughters hanging out with their white boyfriends; they should be considering this reality when queueing up for Immigrant Visas in front of the UK and US embassies in Islamabad.Recommend

  • Ambreen

    And also, the author should’ve mentioned Shafilea’s sister Alisha who bravely testified against her parents. I really pray that she also can move on with her life now that justice has been done.Recommend

  • Vikram

    @AFGHAN:
    Things change with time. I bet more and more girls in Pakistan are wearing jeans and dating. I have not heard any Muslim family for killing their “son” for dating a White girl. Recommend

  • shahin

    when in rome, do what the romans do.Recommend

  • Milestogo

    As long as Islam is not harmed, westernization is ok.Recommend

  • Jahan Ara

    These coward, barbaic parents deserve to be hanged.
    Pakistani community abroad will never learn any lesson. They will keep on killing their children, importing buffons from ” home ” country as sons-in-law and devatating their life here as well as hereafter.
    Had Pakistanis been wise, Pakistan would not have been like what it is todayRecommend

  • Shadytr33

    If the parents were so worried about honor, I don’t know why the hell they go to western countries and impose their own values. You want a British citizenship but you don’t want to adopt British values. Wow.. Hippocratic behavior at max.Recommend

  • http://peddarowdy.wordpress.com/ Anoop

    The sister who exposed the criminals, her parents, is a brave girl. She has really held up the values of the free world. Recommend

  • alo majumdar (New Delhi)

    @Ambreen: Absolutely agree with you. The courage shown by the younger sister Alisha is stupendous given what happened to her elder sister. Also the author ought to have mentioned that Farzana is the second and “desi” wife of the the “ghairatmand” Iftekar Ahmed. He was earlier married to a white Danish woman with whom he had a son! Unbelievable hypocrisy.Recommend

  • A.

    It is now being reported by the BBC and UK news media that Mr. Ahmed the father used to be a very modern and westernized man in his younger years. He apparently got married to a Dutch woman over there and had a child before coming to Pakistan and marrying his cousin. His first wife has released pictures of colorful past. He used to hang around disco’s, drink alcohol and pick up white chicks.

    Yet he could not see his daughter get a job and go to university. What a hypocrite and ugly man.

    Also shame on the mother. She actually took part in her own daughters murder?? What kind of a woman would do that?

    I’m glad that they are in the UK and got punished for their crimes. In Pakistan they would have been hailed as heroes for trying to protect their honour. Recommend

  • Omaima

    It is totally nonsense to keep their children in the western country and the western culture, and expecting them to follow the norms and culture they had lived in in their times. Sorry but you planted your tree in the different garden! You can’t really help when it is all grown.
    Even if they say it wasn’t honor killing or a murder due to the fear of society but due to the fear of Allah and Islam they are on the wrong path as Islam also doesn’t teach you to murder, let alone your own children.Recommend

  • shahin

    @Vikram your so right about the sons. They get to date lots of white girls, then have a fresh virgin ready for them when they’re ready to marry. There is really no equality in the sexes with Pakistani culture no matter what country you’re in. That big gap has to be closed otherwise there will be more dead girls like Shafilea.Recommend

  • nosheen

    I hate this … can’t really believe this actually happend… disgusting .. Recommend

  • mena

    This is so sad. Why don’t these sorts of backwards people stay in their stupid villages? Only reason they come to the UK is for the free welfare system so they don’t have to work! What about honour there???Recommend

  • MTL

    Islam has the same restrictions for men too @Milestogo: Recommend

  • basudeb dey

    If Muslim immigrants can’t assimilate and accept Western way of live while living there, why they even come here ? Nobody invited them, they willingly came here for a better life and must accept/respect local culture and law.Recommend

  • Deb

    @Vikram

    Lol.!!Recommend

  • Against violence

    Shafilea’s parents thought they could get away with their crimes like many people do in Pakistan. Kill your daughter in Pakistan, bury her and bribe the police. Simple as that. Not in the UK and the West. What ever your views are of Great Britain, at least they enforce justice and reprimand anyone going against the law. Here’s to hoping the same can happen in our country Pakistan.Recommend

  • FAZ

    Now that the parents are behind bars, the remaining sisters of Shifela will live the true American dream and spend life happily ever after!
    Thought for food for Mr and Mrs Iftikhar!Recommend

  • Cromulent

    Poor Shafilea reaped the bitter wages of Islam. Its been this way for 1400 years.Recommend

  • Cromulent

    @Vikram: Of course not. That’s (in part) because in a marriage its expected that the wife will adopt the husband’s religion. Or at the very least any resulting children will be brought up as Muslims.

    And its not a race thing. Its all about Islam.Recommend

  • Kanwal

    I also blame UK government (the elite from private schools making decisions for people who live every day life as a middle class person). They dont understand ground realities. They wanted cheap labor. So be it. Accept the whole package now. I bet people like this couple can not even settle down in Lahore or Karachi properly. Bad for the UK public but good riddance for Pakistan. Recommend

  • http://comments. Sultan Ahmed

    It is wrong to say,Islam allow honor killing,
    Honor killing go against Islam.
    Islam totally forbids honor killing.
    It forbids force marriage and anybody thinks somehow that
    they are doing these action as a result of their faith,then they are seriously misguided.

    Intention,acceptance is essential for marriage on behalf the couple if any other way is adopted it would be against the fundamental principle of Islam.
    There is sever punishment for those who commit sexual crime and the above reported case is of different nature.
    There were option before them(parent) they should adopt legal way leading to safe direction.Recommend

  • Hope

    Iftikhar Ahmed: pot – kettle – black. what a hypocrite. what was he like before he was married off to his cousin? Drinking, going to the “disco” according to his ex Danish gori wife whom he had a son with. Honour? What about raising the child from his first marriage? Really disgusting. he got what he deserves. Recommend

  • http://comments. Sultan Ahmed

    In case,
    they are innocent,
    They have right of appeal.
    appeal court is at very short distance.Recommend

  • http://bigsaf.newsvine.com bigsaf

    An article on the parent’s hypocrisy and backward family background.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-19119014

    Vivi Lone Andersen said Iftikhar was “a very happy boy” who enjoyed dancing, drinking beer and going to discos when he lived with her in Denmark.

    She said his personality changed around his Pakistani relatives.

    Ms Anderson, who is Danish, married Iftikhar in 1982 in Copenhagen and they had a son, Tony Andersen.

    The couple lived in Denmark until 1986, when he received a letter from family in Pakistan and told his wife he had to go home as his mother was unwell.

    After several months in Pakistan, Iftikhar asked Ms Anderson to join him in Bradford with their son to start a new life.

    When she arrived, a heavily pregnant woman, whom Iftikhar introduced as his cousin Farzana, was also living in the house.

    It was only when a health visitor went to the house that Iftikhar admitted that Farzana’s baby was his and that he had married her in Pakistan.

    He told his wife that he and Farzana had been promised to each other when they were children.

    Ms Andersen left the UK the same month she had arrived and recalls conversations with Iftikhar in which he said he could leave his son to grow up without his influence because he was a boy.

    He said, if they had had a girl, he would not be able to allow her to grow up “without his guidance in the Islamic ways”.

    Ms Andersen said Iftikhar changed when relatives from Pakistan visited them, and he told her he felt forced to marry Farzana after she threatened to kill herself if he did not.

    Recommend

  • AFGHAN

    Sorry to go off-topic. Sometimes I really wonder why such news of brutality always come from the Pakistani community in the west? Recommend

  • http://bigsaf.newsvine.com bigsaf

    Reminds me of the cases in Canada, such as Aqsa Parvez and the Shafia family’s Afghan girls and their stepmother.

    Unfortunately, I don’t think such individuals, families and societies will learn, no. Such folks choose to hold onto hypocritical, irrational, backward, cruel and extreme religio-cultural notions. Its become a major problem in Pakistan and with the diaspora overseas. Recommend

  • Zahid Qureshi

    What happened to the justice for honor killing case of Lady Dianna?Recommend

  • Ch. Allah Daad

    “We can only hope that people with the same attitude as Shafilea’s parents will learn from her death and love their children unconditionally, whatever path they may choose.”
    You mean if children bring their Goray or Kalay boy/girl friends home and take them to their bedrooms is okay.
    Come on, get some sense. Whatever her parents did was wrong but young generation is crap too. There are millions of well established, well mannered, educated and civilized Gora families but these young kids follow and copy White Trash only. Their parents are there to pay their bills, give them shelter and clothes and else have no say in their lives. Shame on her parents but more shame on young generation.Recommend

  • Vikram

    @Milestogo:
    Did Islam get harmed? There was a news in Tribune yesterday where 2 men sold their mother for Rs 30,000 to a guy who raped her for 3 days before she escaped..

    If a Muslim guy DATES a White girl? Does Islam get harmed? Girls are human too.Recommend

  • Adil Anwar

    we should learn from the honor killings that happen in pakistan too. at least one happens every day i’m sure.Recommend

  • http://mezaajedeen.blogspot.com Deen Sheikh

    The problem is that the culture of arranged marriages and commoditisation of one’s children is very deeply rooted in our culture, there is a bit of ego involved as well, since one of the other things in our culture is blind obedience to elders, our elders gave their elders blind unconditioned respect and obedience, hence they expect it in return. Thanks for writing this, Pakistanis at home should be aware of the barbaric acts of the diaspora. God knows how many poor Pakistani girls are killed here in Pakistan for getting westernised or for refusing an arranged marriage. Recommend

  • peace lover

    Sad :( RIP dear.Recommend

  • Nobody

    Move to the west, use/abuse the system for whatever you can get from it, expect it to change to suit YOUR needs (you being the immigrant), when it doesn’t change, hate on it, never bother to assimilate, keep yourself isolated, and when your children (namely your daughters) want to practice the freedom allotted to them in said country, kill them….. Makes…no…sense. Despicable behavior. People’s first reaction to such people is usually ‘Go back to your home country.” I wouldn’t even go as far as saying that because I feel their home country (in this case, Pakistan) doesn’t need/want people like them. Such people should have no home. They’re undeserving to be among the civilized populace in ANY country. Recommend

  • light up

    i feel so bad for her family torn up by this tragedy. the children must have kept this secret for many long times before this case. and now imagine having your parents put in jail in such away also with all this negative media coverage. really will effect the younger siblings.Recommend

  • Op

    just watching video tears are in my eyes how can parents murder their daughter..look innocent little child she is looking in the video and glow in her eyes…May Allah bless her with Janna Recommend

  • http://India Feroz

    ” your concern about being shamed in your community was greater than your love for your child”.
    Being bothered about what the community thinks was more important to this couple, than love of their child. A child torn between two cultures needs parents who are understanding, spend quality time and frankly talk on all issues. Catering to the emotional needs of such distressed children needs both patience and excellent communication skills.
    When the World recognizes that a Woman’s body belongs to none but herself and she is free to treat herself as she pleases without bothering about others — that will be the day we have taken the first step in making the world free of gender prejudice.Recommend

  • SAK

    Well written blog for the sake of a blog but Ms. Zab will your parents allow you to marry a “gora” Recommend

  • A.

    Anyway all the matter boils down to is the fact that a beautiful, young girl was murdered by her own mother and father. Even worse is the fact that her parents feel no remorse for killing her infact they are proud of their action somewhat.

    Really terrible. Dishonor killings should stop.Recommend

  • shamim

    This is the first time I’ve seen all ET comments agreeing :) we’re all on the same page when it comes to honour killings. The same thing should happen in South Asian countries.

    Just wanted to point out that it’s not just Pakistanis. The Turks are renowned for honour killings as are many Arab countries along with India. They should all clamp down on this disgusting crime!Recommend

  • Brit Pak

    I really appreciate the part about our parents understanding us. It’s so true that we adapt to the environment we live in. But if a British Pakistani goes out with their culture, they’re torn to shreds from their families a lot of the times. They like to keep good control of their kids. I know some girls that aren’t allowed out with friends, forced to wear shalwaar kamees and do ALL the house chores, while their brothers are free to roam about where they please, have white girlfriends and basically have slaves doing all their washing and cooking for them. It’s time for all of this to change!Recommend

  • ordinary girl

    so sick! poor gurl, god knows what she suffered at the hands of her evil parents before she died. why can’t parents just let you live?Recommend

  • amer

    Stupid, stupid people! How could they do that to their own daughter, they’re own blood?? Hope they rot in hell for it. The police but bugs into the house and you can actually hear both the parents discussing how they got away with it. Sick minded, uneducated villagers. They got what they deserve. Recommend

  • huma maqbul

    Tragedy of such a beautiful young girl. She would be the same age as my youngest sister had been alive today.Recommend

  • Zab Mustefa

    @SAK

    It’s not for my parents to decide who I marry in the first place!! It’s my choice.Recommend

  • Sonya

    @ Ch. Allah Daad: Did Shafilea bring her “gora” or “kala” boyfriend back home? The problem starts when Pakistani parents want their children to grow up as if they were growing up in a rural village with the same mentality. It doesn’t work in the west. Leave the younger generation alone and educate yourself in the problems they face before saying it’s “a load of crap”. Sloppy teenagers, lazy young people come in all races, which is another issue and has nothing to do with honour killings.

    I agree with the author 100%. You should support your children and whatever route they may choose instead of forcing them to live your traditional path. Recommend

  • zaynab

    Omg @SAK it’s none of your business to ask a girl such personal questions!Recommend

  • http://Sydney Arsalan Khan

    I agree that they are getting punishment because they murdered their child in a law-abiding country. Had they been Pakistan, they would have been declared heroes like Mumtaz Qadri. Ex Chief of some high court would have offered free legal services to defend them also. Lawyers would have thrown flowers on these killers.
    O My God! What a country and what a peopleRecommend

  • Joanna V

    I agree with all the comments here. That poor girl must have suffered so much. I admire the UK police for catching these murdering parents, even though it took many years. I love Pakistan, have been there twice. But this “honour killing” is something I really hate. and I wish there were more people who could put a stop to it and save the lives of these poor girls. What will it take before people realise that this is wicked, not “honourable” in the least?Recommend

  • SAK

    @zaynab

    I disagree with the blogger, the blog is biased and sympathy is only for the girl as she is dead now. I think Shefiela acts made her parents to do this. Otherwise all of you think, can your parents kill you?Recommend

  • Vikram

    @Joanna V: The breakthrough came when Shafilea’s younger sister, Alesha Ahmed, was arrested in connection with an armed robbery at the family home in August 2010.

    It was in a police interview that she said she had seen her parents kill her sister seven years earlier.Recommend

  • Bee 87

    @SAK I don’t think it’s relevant if the author can marry a guy who’s not of Pakistani origin. What matters is the point she is making that honour killings cannot be tolerated. We have to do more in Pakistan and abroad to make sure this doesn’t happen. Recommend

  • sad but true

    Parents like these will never learn. They don’t care about love or wellbeing, they just put their own selfish agendas forward and that is what will always be more important to them. Recommend

  • http://wwwww Raheel

    All girls and boys, plase do not drag religion into this. It is a barbaric act of two individuals on the name of honoring their bradari and culture. To my british and english friends, it is a culture not religion due to which stupid people kill their childeren.
    In India, today lots of women ahve been killed and tortured to death by their families on honour. There is a custom known as SATTI in India, where, a young woman has been torched to death alive beside the dead body of her husband, if her husband dies.

    I have liven in U.K, in Bristol, bradford, leeds, Manchestor during my higher studies. There I had a chance to see lots of desi immigrants who have come from India and pakistan and settled there. I was mostly dissapointed to see the double standards in them. I refused to marry to my Manchester born desi cousin, whom I thought is a forceful and arranged marriage. we both are very happy. Thogh I am still happily bachelor workin in a multinational engineering firm, while she has three kids with her british born husband, (:

    I lived in English culture for so many years and made many english friends. I respected their culture, their values and life and they mine. I believe I would marry to a girl who is an English, or Muslim, or christian or any one to whom i can be a true lifelong friend.

    Yes, true , desi girls in U.K, whether they are sikhs, Muslims, hindus, are usually at the mercy of their parents and bradari family. Change is coming, i think timely punishments like these will help.

    Thanking you.

    Recommend

  • amir

    If you are going to live in a new society/culture then you have two options first you melt and catch the supplementary society and 2nd you have to prevail your own customs on initial stage and if you are going to practice double standard game then the result in front of you like Shafilea case following lines of Judge is the crux of conflict.
    “Your problem was that, in what you referred to as your ‘community’, Shafilea’s conduct was bringing shame upon you, and your concern about being shamed in your community was greater than your love for your child.”
    “You chose to bring up your family in Warrington, but although you lived in Warrington, your social and cultural attitudes were those of rural Pakistan and it was those you imposed on your children. Recommend

  • A.

    @SAK
    So you support honour killings? Would you be ok if someone killed you in the name of honour?Recommend

  • Parvez

    Those who say ‘ keep religion out of this debate ‘ are just deluding themselves. For Pakistani Muslims in particular, especially when they come half way through life and religion ‘descends onto them’ they have trouble in dealing with it and sadly land up choosing not to compromise on what they think or have been told what religion teaches or means. In these cases society norms and rational humane thought take the back seat.Recommend

  • amir

    no dear i am not supporting her parents in fact This is the blunder of her parents first they given her sphere and then they want to her come out of the sphere when she extremely mixed up in existing culture Recommend

  • B

    @Raheel, thank you for clearly stating the point that honour killings have nothing to do with religion. Honour killings have been going on before Islam and are taken primarily from tribal cultures. It’s to do with backwards thinking that causes these tragic deaths and we have to put a stop to them.Recommend

  • Sabrina

    @SAK

    I actually advocate for all women never to face what Shafilea did. Regardless of her actions, she was killed in the name of something barbaric and no person has the right to do that. Her actions were not wrong and if you think her parents had a right to torture her or treat her like a dog, then you clearly are part of the problem! I would say the same if she was dead or alive.Recommend

  • http://fazoolstuff.blogspot.com/2012/07/electrolysis-and-pakistani-media.html Usman Shahid

    it is written Shfilea Ahmed want to socialize with “Gora”. This is wrong, her boy friend was muslim and not gora rather from desi background. His name was Mushtaq Bagas.

    check this out
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/aug/03/shafilea-ahmed-history-of-violenceRecommend

  • Dj-Amir Khan

    Pathetic printRecommend

  • Sane

    This is the dilemma faced by many families who uproot them from where they belong and want to live in a part of the world with a ‘self created world’. This normally does not work specially when children are born or minor and brought up in an exposed society. To get young adults and children balanced in really impossible. They have to face a wide contrast between the environment at home and outside. This then creates life long tragedies. I really feel sorry for the girl and for parents too equally.

    Jo markaz sey ukhar jao gey. Khak ho jao gay dastano mein dhal jao gay. (if you are out from where you originate. You will burnt to ashes and will become story).Recommend

  • Noreen

    @Usman Shahid: her friends were white. It doesn’t mention gora boyfriend. Read the intro properly.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2183850/Shafilea-Ahmed-murder-trial-How-closest-friend-tried-save-schoolgirl-killed-parents.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

    Melissa Pownel was her close friend and white so the blog is correct.Recommend

  • Qaim Ali shah the macho man

    @shahin:

    lol at fresh virgin hahaha … let me tell you all girls in pakistan are not saints as well like all the boys , there are cases of flirt and boy changing typo girl in all big town in asian countries!!
    but the thing is every one has a past so forget about it and live in present with your wife/husband.Recommend

  • Usman Shahid

    @Noreen
    Her most significant male friend, or boyfriend, was Mushtaq Bagas, from Blackburn, who is now 38. They met at the end of 2002 when Shafilea was with her family in Blackburn. Bagas slipped her a piece of paper with his number on it. She discussed her concerns and fears with him,

    Bagas agreed to help and drove to Warrington in the early hours of one morning in January 2003. As he parked his car, Shafilea climbed out of a front lounge window downstairs with a bag of clothes, as the family were often locked in at night by her father.

    They spent two nights at his brother’s house in Blackburn and then went to a B&B, but he denied having a sexual relationship with her and they had “only kissed.”

    The day before her killing, she had sent him a text asking to meet her at college at lunchtime.

    @Noreen: Read all the above at
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/aug/03/shafilea-ahmed-history-of-violenceRecommend

  • Usman Shahid

    @Noreen: Oh sorry agreed. If it is not changed after my commentRecommend

  • Sane

    @Qaim Ali shah the macho man:

    Even girls’ boy changing and eloping is rampant in villages of Pakistan and other part of the world. Recommend

  • Usman Shahid

    Still wondering when parent adopts the western culture, why don’t they allow it to their children. Even if children start moving in opposite direction why don’t they leave their children on their own. Killing is extreme and not justifiable at all.Recommend

  • Noreen

    @Usman: I get what you’re saying yeah, but I’m just pointing out that the majority of her friends were white. Regardless of that, race doesn’t really matter in the wider scale of things. Her parents would’ve probably acted in the same manner, had her friends been Asian. They didn’t want her socialising at all in the first place.Recommend

  • Prabhjyot Singh Madan

    The non resident Pakistanis are more fanatical than the normal Pakistanis. It’s good India does not have dual nationality. It is a curse.Recommend

  • Noreen

    @Usman: the father Iftikhar is a prime example. Drinking and partying, marrying a Danish women then his family back in Pakistan clicked their fingers and off he came running to marry his cousin. Really sick.

    Had the nerve to preach his traditionalist crap to his children!Recommend

  • Usman Shahid

    @Noreen: Agreed with you.

    The word “Gora” was confusing. At the same time, i think, her parent were furious not for her “gori friends” but for her boy friend. This could be the reason that they were trying for her marriage in PakistanRecommend

  • Usman Shahid

    @Noreen: This is extreme of hypocrisy.Recommend

  • Noreen

    @Usman: I think they had an attitude that many South Asians have that is to “fix things” by forcing marriage, which obviously is ridiculous. Recommend

  • Noreen

    @Prabhjyot Singh Madan:

    I don’t even think it’s a case of dual nationality. Many Indians and Pakistanis came to the UK in the 1950′s and adopted full British citizenship like my parents. But unfortunately, many of our parents brought their strict village mentality with them.Recommend

  • Raw is War

    it was revealed in Dailymail, UK, that the father of Shafilea was married to a white women with a son before he abandoned her and married again, to a Pakistani women.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2183160/Shafilea-Ahmed-murder-trial-Adulterer-Ahmed-Shafileas-father-cheated-wife-abandoned-son-avoid-bringing-shame-family-Pakistan.html

    So this monster has a set of rules for himself and a different set for his daughter. This is purely religion speaking here.Recommend

  • Yousef UK

    @raw is war, what has religion got to do with it? Where does it say in Islam that you can do such a thing? It’s purely cultural. Thousands of non Muslims kill in the name of honour, it’s just a tribal mentality that ends in killing for your male pride.Recommend

  • Cromulent

    @Yousef UK: Actually the best current estimates are that ~90% of all honor killings worldwide are Muslim. Now that doesn’t prove a causal connection in and of itself, but its at least curious isn’t it?

    And of course there is indeed some justification for this in Islamic source documents which you don’t mention.Recommend

  • Rasul Lahore

    Reading stuff like this makes me so angry!!!

    What did the father gain in by killing his own child? Where is his honour now as he rots in jail?Recommend

  • waqas

    @Cromulent

    Where did you get the 90% estimate from?Recommend

  • Cromulent
  • waqas

    “According to this study, 90 percent of honor murders in the West are committed by Muslims against Muslims.”

    In the WEST.

    It also states: “The problem the West faces is complex. Muslims, Sikhs, and Hindus view honor and morality as a collective family matter. Rights are collective, not individual. Family, clan, and tribal rights supplant individual human rights.”

    If you’re talking about demographics, include Africa and India.

    Nuff said.Recommend

  • yousaf

    @Afghan::Your query about why only Pakistan is mentioned in western media is quite genuine.The answer to your question is very simple.West has not ever closed its doors to anyone from the east.Oil-rich countries (mostly Muslims) though,have gradually and silently closed their doors for Pakistanies and we have never bothered to know why.You can verify what I say by looking at ‘help wanted’ and ‘jobs available’ sections of ‘Gulf-news’ or any other Arab newspaper.The most shameful part is when some ads explicitly mention ‘no Pakistani’ whereas people from India,Bangladesh,Burma,Sri lanka and those from far east are all welcome there and are doing highly paid jobs and businesses.It is high time we re-define the term ‘HONOUR’ if we ever want to keep pace with the world.May be? the fault lies with us and not with the westRecommend

  • http://comments. Sultan Ahmed

    According to my considered opinion,it needs further prob,
    As for as investigation is concerned,it can be made at any
    stage of the case.Recommend

  • John

    Is Islam or Pakistan responsible for these backward values system?

    These people should go and live in the backwards culture they so aspire to if they cannot abide by western norms.

    Personally I think the parents should now be shot! Recommend

  • mika

    @John

    It’s not Islam. If you read some of the above comments, it’s purely cultural. Honour killings have been going on even before the Prophet Mohammad’s time. Recommend

  • yousaf

    @John::You think the parents should be shot.What purpose will it serve?Shafilia’s father Mr,Iftikhar was a playboy during his youth and fathered a son from a Danish woman.He then came to Pakistan to marry his cousin and took her to England and did not disclose about his previous marriage till his deceptive secret was found out by his second wife.Iftikhar is 52 and by looking at his health he is supposed to live another 25 years,to be on safe side.When he killed his daughter she was 17 and had a long,happy and prosperous future before her.Taking by the age of her parents they deprived her of 60 years by taking her life along with the mental and physical torture they gave her before she died.MOST IMPORTANT is the fact that they brought a very bad name to their home-country by pretending and pleading to be innocent of her disappearance for 9 long years.So,by KILLING THEIR INNOCENT DAUGHTER and bringing BAD NAME TO THEIR COUNTRY(to which,over the years we have sort of become immune due to indifference towards the HONOUR of our own country,{I don’t say nation because it will confuse the matter}) they must pay back what they took away.This can’t be done by simple shooting.The rule of eye for an eye will be a better option They should be deprived of 60 free life years.@Mr.ZAK please do not put blame on the blogger.Compared to what western,electronic and print media,has shown,she has written nothingRecommend

  • dr j tipu

    No wonder you are a PMLN die hard fan, Same crap mentality! what a shameRecommend

  • Noman

    We should me one nation guys http://itechbook.net Recommend

  • Marium

    25 years is too short an imprisonment for 2 people who were meant to love this girl the most. It’s deeply saddens one to read such stories and wonder, why as a race we have become so barbaric. Why move abroad if your mentality belongs to the rural areas? I commend Shafilea’s sister for coming forward. May her sister forever rest in the highest heavens. Recommend

  • Sane

    @Yousef UK:

    Raw is War Id is basically has just one purpose; blame Muslims or malign Islam. Whether in the context or not. It’s better if such honkings are not replied. They will die their own death.Recommend

  • waqas

    @yousaf I really agree with you there. Shooting Shafilea’s parents is the easiest way out! Let them sit and think about it for 25 years each in prison.Recommend

  • Mosco

    Those of you blaming Islam really have to educate yourselves! Honour killings were going on wayyy before Islam even existed. You lot are beginning to sound as ignorant and silly as the English Defence League! Don’t shoot the messenger. Does that phrase ring a bell?

    If Shafilea’s father had been a true God-fearing Muslim, he would never have killed his beautiful daughter. It was all to do with his bsh male ego. If it was Islam to blame, he wouldn’t exactly win Muslim of the Year award seeing as he messed about a gori, drank and went clubbing in his younger years.Recommend

  • saima london

    The day when the same justice is applied to a culprit of an honour killing in pakistan will be the true day of real justice.

    Seriously, can anyone imagine getting 25 years imprisonment for killing your daughter in India or Pakistan? The judge would just laugh at this British verdict!Recommend

  • Get a life

    before attacking or raising hands on Pakistani parents
    do get to know even english families do such
    dont be racist and make Islam or Pakistan accountable for any bad thing happening around the world
    an example of it is here
    http://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/-/world/14485850/parents-jailed-for-beating-daughter-over-black-boyfriend/Recommend

  • Ifran

    @Zahid Qureshi

    Correct brother Lady Diana was killed because when had affair with Dodi Fayed. The british had to save their honor and so she was killed. The british are very cunning and make it look like an accident.Recommend

  • saima london

    @get a life: it really annoys me when people like yourself assume we’re generalising by highlighting this honour killing. We’re not talking about ALL Pakistani parents here. Yes there are good and bad in all races towards women so don’t get so defensive as is if Pakistanis are angels.Recommend