Unapologetic acid attackers: ‘She asked for it’

Published: April 11, 2012

As repulsive as it sounds, the attacker knows that a woman’s ‘market value’ and strength as a human being is utterly destroyed when she is either attacked with acid or raped. PHOTO: REUTERS

A few weeks ago, the tragic news of Fakhra Yunus’s suicide garnered extensive amounts of local and foreign media attention; women rights activists spoke up, politicians did the routine condemnation, lawyers demanded justice for a victim who no longer existed, who left precisely because people had forgotten her; her perseverance ran out as the general apathy of her society ran high. We all had become oblivious of her long before she killed herself. That is far worse than any kind of death – when your own people render you irrelevant.

But this isn’t about Fakhra. This isn’t about Bilal Khar’s denial of involvement in the acid attack carried on her, or how he cannot be charged since he has been previously absolved. This isn’t about the hundreds of Pakistani women – or even Indian, Afghan, Iranian, Bangladeshi, American, and British women – who become victims of acid attacks and other forms of violence perpetrated by men.

This is about how – much to our misfortune – hate against women continues to flourish not only because the misogynistic society we live in teaches our men to view women as objects, but because our institutions and popular personalities – ministries, curriculum, media publications, clerics – directly and indirectly assert the notion that a woman is a secondary being, that a woman asked for it when she got raped, beaten, or murdered. All thanks to this culture of blaming and shaming the wrong person, the real criminal is rarely brought to justice.

The question is: Why is there a trend of acid attacks carried out chiefly by men against women?

In order to understand this grotesque malady of the (male) mind, I studied crime reports, mostly from the South Asian diasporas, and gender studies dedicated to the investigation behind misogynistic violence. In a society where a woman’s significance and relevance is determined by what is on her face and what lies between her legs, the vulnerability of her existence is highly defined for a potential attacker.

As repulsive as it sounds, the attacker knows that a woman’s ‘market value’ and strength as a human being is utterly destroyed when she is either attacked with acid or raped. Add political connections to the equation, the woman is completely silenced. It is the ideal recipe for female subjugation.

However it’s not just shallow societal standards of a woman’s importance that reinforce the idea of her little worth; it is the elephantine size of the male ego.

In almost every culture around the world, men are rarely taught a realistic fact of life: A woman ’can’ and ‘will’ say no to his requests and demands. Whether we are studying the conservative societies of Pakistan, Afghanistan, India, Cambodia and Bangladesh, or presumably liberal societies of USA, UK and Australia, men are rarely made to believe that a woman’s autonomy is as valid as that of a man’s. When his ego is bruised, a man’s wrath takes form of a reckless, blind machine of violence devoid of any conscience.

Another factor behind the abundance of acid attacks is stated by Hannah Bloch, writer of  ’The Evil that Men Do‘:

“Acid, nitric or hydrochloric, has long been the weapon of retribution for Pakistani men against disloyal, disobedient or overly determined women. One reason is that acid is cheap and readily available.”

However, it is a lot worse when popular figures endorse, even subtly, violence against women. Rhetoric – if wielded effectively enough – is a powerful weapon. A week ago, an Urdu columnist Javed Chaudhry cleverly narrated a hyperbolic version of an acid attack. Whether it was an indirect narration of Khar’s crime against Fakhra or some incident from Southern Punjab, the message was clear:

She “provoked” the man to such heights of brutality. After reading that distasteful column, one could easily imagine Chaudhry rephrasing himself:

“Bro, what the dude did was totally not cool, like, it was really not right but, like,  she asked for it, bro. Like, why did she make him so angry?”

In Pakistani media, one could easily say that the regard for general ethics runs inversely proportional to the level of viewership one has (or wants to have, for that matter). Chaudhry maintains a strong fan following; imagine the effect of his column when he basically reinforced the she-asked-for-it mentality many Pakistani men already have and act upon.

The worst part is that the editors of the publication never issued an apology for such an inappropriate, insensitive and disgusting column. The appalling ignorance remains unaccounted for as its repercussions grow worse.

For someone who is an unapologetic supporter of human’s rights and security and especially of women’s wellbeing, reading and studying about this kind of violence in Pakistan gives me a dull heartache. Its multi-branched contributive factors make me think:

Where do we start to end this? Are our legislators blind to the atrocities committed in this country? Are women simply not important enough to raise objections? How long will political-backing and misogynistic figures continue to control law and order?

Activists and human rights supporters continue to demand a criminal justice system that is supportive and sensitive to cases of violence against women; that legal and judicial outcomes are just, transparent and equitable for all. But then why aren’t these conscientious voices paid heed to? How many women have to suffer for a bill, so based in common sense, to gain legitimate status?

It says a collective lot about a country when the state becomes indifferent to the malicious and brutal satiation of misogynistic ego, when a woman’s face is no longer just a face but an open target of a man’s animalistic appetite for revenge and dominance.

 Read more by Mehreen here, or follow her on Twitter @mehreenkasana.

mehreen.kasana

Mehreen Kasana

An American Pakistani student, blogger and doodler in Lahore. She enjoys writing satire on culture and politics. Mehreen tweets @mehreenkasana.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • abdul jabbar

    This is the mentality that blames women for getting raped, for getting abused.
    The onus in our society has been placed on women to not get sexually harassed, not get raped, not get acid thrown on your face.
    Men have been allowed to shirk all responsibility , the rapist is allowed to continue a normal life by our society, the rapist gets to marry, have children, whereas the rape survivor is stigmatised for the rest of her days.

    This mentality gets reinforced when maulvis preach in their sermons and lectures on tv that women’s bodies ought to be covered in burkas and hijabs all the time because to the mullahs the female body is a source of great evil and sin. The narrative popular in our society is that women are by nature evil, sinful and temptresses, this image gets portrayed in our ads, dramas, movies, it’s always the immodest obscene woman who tempts the imaan of the masoom bichara sharif larka . To our public the larka is always masoom and sharif , all sin lies with the girl.Recommend

  • Ali Raza

    Why no anchor condemned the article mentioned above written by a news anchor? They are quick to pounce on anything remotely against women’s rights but remained deadly silence over a misogynistic article justifying inhuman actions . Justifying a man’s throwing acid on a woman is a new low for our journalists.

    What if tommorrow wives start throwing acid on philandering husbands who sleep with other women while on business trips or foreign tours or those who have affairs? Recommend

  • uncle

    you talk about repercussions; have you ever thought about repercussions of losing virginity? how it is destroyed? by libertine not by liberty. you can’t change mentality and essence of this country’s being Islamic. wait wait… i am not supporting acid throwingRecommend

  • Zafar Khan

    Blame the rape victim is the popular choice of reaction by our male as well as female population.
    It’s not just men who blame the acid attack victim or rape victims. Too many times have i heard women crticising the rape victim herself. Such misogynistic women need to be condemned loudly and clearly. Those people who say she deserved it because she was not wearing a burka or hijab need to get out of their cavemen mentality.
    Not wearing a burka or hijab is no justification for raping anyone. Men should behave like human beings, they were created as ‘ashraful makhlookat ‘ and should learn to behave as such, what difference is there between man and the dogs running after female dogs on the road. If some men resort of staring and harassing at girls just because they’re not in burkas or hijabs , then those men are proving that they are not better than the dogs on the streets.Recommend

  • Parvez

    Hard hitting and true to the last letter.
    I place a big portion of the blame on our judiciary who if they acted swiftly and discharged the responsibility entrusted to them without fear and with fervour, things would be different.Recommend

  • Humayun Asad

    @uncle:

    sick obsession with virginity belongs in the dark ages. It is vile thinking that hs led to a sick society where women are treated as nothing but pieces of meat. And why isn’t dulhay raja’s virginity brought into consideration also when the rishta is being made. All the emphasis is for the dulhan to be a virgin, why does the dulhay mian get a free ride?

    It’s time we moved out of the times of the neanderthals and started treating women as equal human beings .Recommend

  • Ali

    The article of Javeed Chaudary was clinical and sarcastic. Every one who reads his writings would know that is the general tone in which he writes. He narrated the misogynistic views not in approval but in disgust. Recommend

  • Raza

    Another well-written article by Mehreen Kasana, despite the blatant feminism again being on show. I gave up trying to understand legislators in our country a long time back. The entire phenomenon needs 2 laws to be curbed; 1) restricting the availability of acid 2) deciding capital punishment for this crime (its seriously more heinous than murder). Recommend

  • Ali

    @Raza:
    What’s wrong with feminism dude? feminism is awesome.Recommend

  • Liaqut Bilwany

    @Raza:

    What is blatant feminism? Wanting equal status for men and women? Not wanting to get acid thrown? Wanting rapists to be punished? Not wanting women to hate their gender?Recommend

  • AIN

    Mentality of men in our society is required to be changed. It is irrespective of the literate or illiterate male. Many literate men some time do such brutal acts which left so many scars on the soul of lady which are nerveless then an acid throwing activity.Recommend

  • http://syedaabidabokhari.wordpress.com The Only Normal Person Here.

    Nailed it. Thumbs up.Recommend

  • http://twitter.com/natashasuleman Natasha Suleman

    How dare she say no to my rishta . Tezaab! How dare she ask for a divorce . Tezaab! How dare she cheat on me. Tezaab!

    Those who believe in ‘she’ must’ve provoked him just need to replace ‘she’ with ‘he’. They wouldn’t even think about a woman being provoked enough to distort a man’s face because the privilege is reserved for the gheratmand men only.Recommend

  • AIN

    @Natasha Suleman:
    Yar so true. Your words recall me about my x-finance. Our engagement was done on his sheer interest which was called of due to his bad behavior and lie nature. And after that he really not only threat me for the bad but he did it very well in my social circle in a way that still I m recovering and summing up myself after more then a year. He didn’t throw acid on me but yes my family has threat from him for it. He almost destroyed my repute at my work place ,gave my number on internet in open chat rooms for adultery, abuses ,talked about me like I m a third rated lady, threat of being dragged me in courtes in fake cases.…..By the way he is engineer and belongs to a very reputed family of doctors and civil servants.Recommend

  • http://differentbitesoflife.blogspot.com jj

    actually, all TV anchors and sorry but all journalist hungry of hot and spicy material . otherwise they all actually misguiding and creating disturbance among our masses.if you notice they don`t write or end article to any development perceptive.
    kindly attach the link of that column your talking in this article . thanks. Recommend

  • Kanwal

    I first read Choudhry’s column, before commenting here to form an opinion of my own. I think the last line of his column says it all: “i stayed silent and he (the perpetrator) left”. When you stay silent, and pls dont tell me you would if it was your own daughter, you ask for whatever comes to you. I guess he could at least say to that man: she made your life hell, right; you made her worse than that. Bravo Mr Choudhry. I am absolutely unimpressed. Recommend

  • jamal

    a classic debate of left and right, urdu and english newspaper. a case study for student of political science and journlism.Recommend

  • http://Germany Mandeep Vaid

    What is deeper in the Psyche of the human, sexism or racism? This question might interest many social scientists. Both these terms determine our inferior quality of life on this planet.

    When we simply analyse the psychology and nature of our daily life jokes, which explode us in a collective unceasing laughter, they underlie either or both, sexist and racist behaviour.

    And likewise all these pseudo religions, which have created a hell for the human life, revolve solely around sexism and racism.

    Sexism and racism are inherent traits of every human being and almost any man can be in a particular situation a murderer, a raper, an acid thrower. The line between sanity and madness is very very thin!Recommend

  • http://twitter.com/natashasuleman Natasha Suleman

    AIN,

    Im sorry to hear that. Acid on the face or acid on the character- when it comes to a man’s over-inflated ego, education probably does not matter. Recommend

  • TheTruth
  • Somak Mitra

    Might I suggest that society is not the only thing contributing to these crimes? I shall focus on a certain viewpoint which triggers some of these crimes.

    The male psychology, by default, has a large part dedicated to reproduction. Males see women as vessels to carry on their genes. Now for this to happen, there has to be reproduction, and for this there has to be sex.

    Now when a man is spurned by a woman, what he feels is that though his sex, his genetics have been denied, i.e. he will no longer be able to carry on his line. This is seen as a direct threat to his survival; the reaction is fear, which is promptly turned into disgust and hatred and projected onto the woman in a psychological defense.

    When the reaction is particularly strong, it can lead to attacks on the threat to survival, which is, the woman. The acid attack and rape have two different unconscious thought processes behind them

    Rape: This woman has refused to carry my genes, thus the way out is to forcefully put my genes in her. That way, I ensure my survival.

    Acid attacks: This woman has refused to carry my genes. I must destroy her ability to carry anyone else’s genes. Thus I must make sure she is unable to reach a condition of reproduction.

    The acid attack can also be done because the woman’s face becomes a constant reminder of the failure of the man to pass on his genes, thus destroying it seems like a viable option for that man.

    Disclaimer: I am in no way condoning these crimes or offering a justification for the perpetrators. I am simply offering another analysis. Recommend

  • http://theopinionista.com The Opinionista

    Brava Mehreen. You’ve covered a lot of ground in this one article. An excellent read. Have shared it with family and friends.

    I particularly appreciated your comment:

    //In a society where a woman’s significance and relevance is determined by what is on her face and what lies between her legs, the vulnerability of her existence is highly defined for a potential attacker.//

    There is so much truth in this.Recommend

  • http://mehreenkasana.wordpress.com/ Mehreen Kasana

    @Ali:

    I humbly disagree. I know sarcasm when I see it. The man [Javed Chaudhry] is often found indirectly apologizing for what men do in the name of honor, rage and more. More so in this apology of his, he is found labeling it all as a crime of passion, something that needs to be understood and thereby made less horrifying in its nature. If he was indeed using sarcasm (something that isn’t part of his ‘signature’ style), people wouldn’t have taken so much offence. He also beseeches women to ‘behave’ themselves ‘lest someone decides to burn them with acid for justified rage’. Don’t ‘provoke’, is what he is telling women. That’s wrong on so many levels.Recommend

  • http://mehreenkasana.wordpress.com/ Mehreen Kasana

    @Raza:

    I’m glad my blatant feminism is showing.Recommend

  • Aisha

    There is a lot to be learnt from Urdu literature. Munni ki nani is a perfect example of showcasing how a young girl gets cornered, not by men but also by the women in society.Recommend

  • Ayesha Pervez

    I salute you Mehreen Kasana for echoing EXACTLY what has been on my mind for the past few weeks, (ever since I heard about Fakhra Yunus’ suicide to be more concise). It is the male ego, and nothing else that compels him to take such monstrous steps. Great blog. Welldone!Recommend

  • s shah

    excellent article. thank you. Although banning acid will not change the mind set behind these crimes, it is an important first step and I pray that it done as soon as possible.Recommend

  • Anaa

    Women should start throwing acid on men.Recommend

  • Anaa

    What is Somak Mitra talking about? Thats its ok for a man to rape and throw acid because its in his genesRecommend

  • Ali S

    I’m all for respecting women and equal rights and acid attacks and rapes are absolutely inexcusable, but I must say that your view is one-sided. Pakistani women themselves – either subconsciously or willingly – perpetuate this mentality of men being the be-all and end-all of their lives.

    And not just the rural village ones that are usually at the receiving end of such barbaric acts, I’m talking about well-educated, young urban women like yourself who are fluent in English and many even have a MBBS degree. But they sit at home waiting for their moms to put them up with some pseudo-shareef rich guy that they will depend on for the rest of their lives. The women who are most capable of raising a society where men view women as fellow humans are mothers.Recommend

  • Ahmed

    “For someone who is an unapologetic supporter of human’s rights and security and especially of women’s wellbeing” This is what is wrong with feminism. Creating a divide between genders. Both men and women are equal and special. Why special narcissistic consideration for your own gender?Recommend

  • http://www.doomedlions.wordpress.com Doomed

    OP, you wrote “In a society where a woman’s significance and relevance is determined by what is on her face and what lies between her legs, the vulnerability of her existence is highly defined for a potential attacker.”

    May I ask what role women play in highlighting the importance of what is on her chest and what is between her legs? Maybe if women themselves were to take an initiative and not put on display what is between her arms and between her legs then perhaps the malady struck men might see them as something more than just an object? Just recently, my colleague was dressed in a nice skirt, showing her assets. Needless to say, I did loose my attention and went on an unforgettable mind journey for few seconds. Her assets are more obvious to me (and other male friends of mine) then her skills.Recommend

  • http://www.doomedlions.wordpress.com Doomed

    And Ms Kasana, what do you suggest be done with a woman who cheats on her husband and is found sleeping with another man? Divorce? Is not that exactly what she wants? There should be some punishment for infidelity, no?

    I am not advocating throwing acid, I am only understanding the reasons which seductively caress such “manly egos” into an explosion of orgasm manifested as what you call ‘acid throwing.” In a biological world, eye for eye seems to be the norm.Recommend

  • http://www.doomedlions.wordpress.com Doomed

    I am hoping my comments will be published. Recommend

  • http://mehreenkasana.wordpress.com/ Mehreen Kasana

    @Ahmed:

    It wouldn’t have sounded so wrong if there wasn’t a gender divide to begin with. There is one and it exists in every path of life. Denying it is nonsensical and robs me of my choice and autonomy.Recommend

  • http://mehreenkasana.wordpress.com/ Mehreen Kasana

    @Doomed:

    I read the question as a fine rephrasing of: “Punish her in some other way. I don’t care if we land for a divorce. I need her physically hurt and avenged by me or some other force.” So no and no and no.Recommend

  • MarkH

    “men are rarely made to believe that a woman’s autonomy is as valid as that of a man’s.”
    I know you have to choose “Westernized” cultures to keep the rabid deflection comments at bay but you’re wrong. In the US it actually gets shoved down our throats forcefully. Not just how we’re raised but in schools. I’m entirely against unequal treatment/view of the genders but by the time I made it out of school and to this day if the topic is brought up my first thought is “Oh man, not this again.” Also, if I said that out loud and not amongst people I knew, I’d probably get a lecture even though I agree but am just burned out on hearing it.
    Punishment ends up being the other way around as well. Men get punished worse than women in such incidents. What started as an equality thing actually drifted over to women having the advantage in courtrooms that contain a jury. A woman could beat the crap out of me and I’d hardly be taken seriously. A man beating the crap out of a woman results in guilty until proven innocent.
    It’s such a taboo in US society that nobody wants to be seen as condoning it in situations where they aren’t even actually condoning it unless you bend it a number of ways which rights groups are experts on doing. Such as not being all that critical of the woman’s story.
    In the end, I personally don’t even care that it’s that way since I can’t imagine myself ever being in the position to have to worry about it. But, to play the victim game in regard to how women are viewed in a self righteous manner is just annoying with all the previous things I mentioned taken into consideration.
    Also, if you’re going to reference other cultures, at least do some research on it instead of going by what you know cry babies will want to hear. You’re basically unintentionally adding “it’s nothing to be ashamed of, everyone does it” to the end of it all.
    Yeah, it happens in those countries. It’s usually due to anger issues and a lack of self control. Those guys would harm anyone smaller than they are if they get angry. A woman doesn’t need to be in the scenario. It’s not because it’s taught or ignored like in Pakistan’s general vicinity.Recommend

  • Nobody

    //In a society where a woman’s significance and relevance is determined by what is on her face and what lies between her legs, the vulnerability of her existence is highly defined for a potential attacker.//

    Nailed it. I’ve felt this way for so long. As soon as Pakistani society stops putting so much importance on a woman’s virginity, that’s one less target men will have to attack. The stigma placed on a woman after she’s raped in a place like Pakistan is placed there because to Pakistani people, it’s as if her life is now over and the only thing of value she had to offer the world is gone. She likely will not marry, or enter society as a fully functioning human being and THAT’S what needs to desperately change.

    I’m not saying rape will magically disappear, it’s a part of developed societies as well; however, the psychology behind it seems to be a bit different. It’s always about power, BUT typically, a man raping a woman in the states or the UK does not do so knowing she’ll now be stigmatized in society and society will never accept her again, because it’s usually not true. A man in Pakistan knows full well that in all likelihood, this woman won’t live an entirely normal life without some stigma attached to her. And the only way to change that is by changing the way people think.
    In short: value a woman for being an independent, intelligent, contributing member of society (whether she’s a working professional or a mom raising kids, or BOTH), not for being a pretty little virgin. We are, after all, human beings. Cheers. Recommend

  • Red

    @Doomed
    If a woman wants divorce, give it to her. There is no till death do us part in marriages. It is a contract with built in exit clauses. Men need to start acting more maturely and stop treating women like their property.

    Oh, and there should be no bodily punishment for infidelity. After all, there isn’t one for men. Just like there is no punishment for premarital sex for men. An eye for an eye would mean the man can go out and sleep with some other woman if his wife cheats on him. That seems fair enough. Recommend

  • FireStarter

    Why if it isn’t Ms. Kasana, writer of feminist articles where she parades her gynocentric views like Mathira does fashion shows. If you truly believe in equality for both sexes, try writing an article where you don’t blame males for every problem that women go through. Why don’t you write an article on an issue that is centric to both genders, or only males? Or something positive for a change. I am no supporter of throwing acid on women, but it is very clear from your phrasing in most of your articles that you hold a grudge against men. And be honest with yourself, this is probably because you’ve been hurt by one or more men in your life..not limited to people in your close family, or people you may have opened yourself up to. So what do you do? You write articles so you can ‘get back at them’ in your mind. And then you’re championed by other feeble minded women who post ‘CHICK POWAH! on your articles and then promptly go and make a sandwich for their husbands when they call. There’s a big difference between the Internet and real life.

    One of the numerous problems with feminism is that there’s such a huge divide between what feminists themselves agree on. Take for example the following quotes from some feminists. Do you agree with them? Because they certainly do not seem rational or reasonable. There’s nothing wrong in highlighting an injustice in society, but try writing an article about something positive as well. And something that crosses the gender gap and applies to everyone.

    “We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men…”
    Elizabeth Cady Stanton

    “Under patriarchy, every woman’s son is her betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman.”
    Andrea Dworkin

    “Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometime gain from the experience”
    Catherine Comins, Vassar College

    “I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He’s just incapable of it.”
    Former Congresswoman Barbara Jordan

    “To be male is to be a kind of idiot savant”
    Germaine Greer

    “All men are rapists and that’s all they are”
    Marilyn French

    “..the ratio of men to women must be radically reduced so that men approximate only ten percent of the total population”
    Sally Gearhart, The Future is Female

    “No, we don’t believe that any woman should have this choice. No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make it.”
    Simone de Beauvoir

    “I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honourable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them.”
    Robin MorganRecommend

  • manish

    @Doomed:

    do you mean that she was asking for your unforgettable mind journey for few seconds
    well your journey didn’t harm anyone, other than you. so, no complains.

    and have you always respected burka-clad women?

    never had that unforgettable mind journey for few seconds wondering what lies beneath that clothing?

    i feel you have a fertile imagination, so if you can feel the things beneath a mini skirt, a mm thin burqa clothing can’t be the insurmountable hurdle to your journey.

    And Ms Kasana, what do you suggest be done with a woman who cheats on her husband and is found sleeping with another man? Divorce? Is not that exactly what she wants? There should be some punishment for infidelity, no?

    just interchange wife with husband, and then tell me what punishment do you think be meted out to such a husband.Recommend

  • Anaa

    @Doomed: You are utterly disgusting… Disgusting.Recommend

  • Somak Mitra

    @Anaa:

    If that’s what you got, you clearly don’t have a clue as to what I’m talking about. Recommend

  • http://mehreenkasana.wordpress.com/ Mehreen Kasana

    @FireStarter:

    It’s amazing how you’ve rendered an act of violence generally and majorly perpetrated by men against women into a petty debate of how several feminists, in bouts of rage, said things that you’ve assumed complete my idea of feminism. Which they don’t. It’s also interesting how you’ve assumed that my desire for gender equality is propelled by an breakup in your head. Way to trivialize the movement, kiddo. Also, funny how you’ve come across presumptuous, I’m not surprised though. It’s something people often do when they don’t understand how to accept facts and move towards solutions. My feminism isn’t misandry. It’s bringing both genders together while stating that there is obvious oppression against the other. Which can be changed. i.e. If people like you start using their heads.

    Now using your brain is something that I find a little impossible for a “Fire Starter” to do. It’s nice that you have an internet connection. Swell with pride while you continue misunderstanding an issue and making it all about your reservations against a few quotes by several feminists and critical thinkers. Good job, buddy.Recommend

  • http://mariemswords.wordpress.com MariemAsif

    @M Javed
    Mard ko ourat ki tarah drip by drip zulam karna nai ata… wo saalon baad, jab us ka sabar jawab de jata ha…then his strike is singular and mortal… wo ya to shoot kary ga, ya kulhari uthaye ga, ya acid phenky ga……lets be objective….
    Do you call that objective? What about the thousands of cases of domestic violence? What are those? All made up, I presume? A slap here, a kick there, a punch wherever… doesn’t that fall under the category of ‘drip by drip zulm karna?’
    Why defend a ruthless mindset so passionately? It’s not as if the writer picked you out and handed you the blame. She’s obviously talking about the mindset at work behind these acts. All educated and reasonable people, irrespective of whether they’re male or female, need to stand up and speak against it outright, without mincing words.
    And incidentally, acid attacks may be ‘singular’, but aren’t ‘mortal’. They singe the soul, leaving the body to burn itself out. Such heinous crimes, with utterly vile consequences for the victim, can not, and should not, be defended/justified by any human being, man or woman.Recommend

  • http://www.doomedlions.wordpress.com Doomed

    Anaa: Thanks. I love to be disgusting. The fact you hate me is my victory. I am a misanthrope, and for a reason. Due to people like you.

    @ Kasana: It is your opinion that there should not be any bodily punishment. You cant impose your opinion anyone.

    @ Red: My mental journey did not harm me, I thoroughly enjoyed it, after all what great feeling than deriving enjoyment out of someone else. As for Burqa clad women, those mm of extra thickness does keep me away from determining the radius of parabolic contours. I dont believe in “till death do us apart” thing, heck, I do not even believe in marriage. As I have said, it is a tactic employed by women over the last million years to trample men and to gain control over men and to blackmail men for telling them to marry her if he needs to have sex. If two people enter into marriage, and if one cheats, divorce is of course going to happen as it would be the success of the cheater, since he/she wanted to end it all, and then cheated while still being married. I do believe there should be some punishment meted out, it depends on what the person who is cheated decides to do. Punishment can simply range from giving in to the desires of the cheater and divorcing the cheater, which I think is very weak of the one cheated, or some other measures to ensure that the cheater learns the lesson. Recommend

  • http://www.doomedlions.wordpress.com Doomed

    @Mariem: What about the crime of infidelity and cheating and breaking husband’s trust? Recommend

  • http://www.doomedlions.wordpress.com Doomed

    @Meriem: Acid throwers spare the soul, burn the body, just like how cheating burns the man’s soul, leaving his apparently “brave” manly muscular body intact for the world. Recommend

  • AhmedMaqsood

    Doomed

    And the crime of infidelity and cheating and breaking the wife’s trust? What should be the punishment for that? Recommend

  • http://mariemswords.wordpress.com MariemAsif

    @Doomed:
    I said acid attacks ‘singe’ the soul, leaving the body to burn itself out. I didn’t say anything about sparing either the soul or the body. And that is why it’s such a heinous, inhuman act, that I, as a living breathing human being, won’t wish on anyone, man or woman.
    Cheating, infidelity, or whatever else is not a gender-specific act so I don’t completely agree with you when you say “just like how cheating burns the man’s soul, leaving his apparently “brave” manly muscular body intact for the world.” It could very well be a woman who’s been cheated on.
    Nor do I get you, to be honest. You’re comparing an acid victim’s charred body with that of a ‘man’ who’s been cheated on? I fail to see the comparison here. Or are you trying to justify the acid attack when it comes from a man who’s been cheated on?Recommend

  • http://www.doomedlions.wordpress.com Doomed

    Ahmed: whatever the wife wishes! That is up to the wives to decide and come up with a consensus, why are you asking males! Recommend

  • FireStarter

    @Mehreen Kasana:
    Right, so you’re defending those (pretty well known) feminists and their radical statements by saying they were ‘angry’?! So what would your response be if it was a bunch of men making the same exact statements about women? Would you pass it off as ’bouts of rage’?
    Taking my previous point a little further, how would you feel if someone told you that the men who threw acid on women did it in ‘a bout of rage’. See how that works? And since you seem to indicate that generalizing is wrong and holding an entire ‘movement’ (as you put it) responsible for the comments of a few feminists is wrong, then what gives you the right to judge the entire male gender because of a few acts against women?

    And if you don’t subscribe to the views of these feminists, why do you call yourself a feminist anyway? Why not an equalist, or something with similar meaning? The word feminist is itself sexist. Something which females blame males for. Anyhow, you can call yourself whatever you want to. But the fact of the matter is, it doesn’t change what’s right or wrong. No one here disagrees that throwing acid on women is wrong. But be fair and write an article on those feminists which bad mouth the male gender as well, of which I showed you ample proof. Condemn what is wrong. Do not defend feminists just because they are feminists. Recommend

  • manish

    @Doomed:

    you are really radical in your views, this i must agree.
    but in you i see a very bleak future in a conservative society of pakistan.
    why not move to a bit more open society, where women will no longer be able to blackmail you into marriage.

    i don’t know how come your views are so radical: probably you are not the one spurned, but you have seen someone very close to you spurned by a woman, and have developed intense dislike for them. i’m saying this, because most of ditched guys i have met are so full of hate that even before they utter a word they start frothing at mouth and their heartbeat runs so fast as if there is no next minute .they can hardly utter a word, let alone complete a meaningful sentence. even putting their feelings into word is not easy for them.

    so to put the feelings this succintly on has to be a good observor and have empathy for the victim. you seem to possess all these qualities. go ahead you have a good career in writing, if you already have not one.

    PS: it’s not you but the women(yes plural!! as you don’t like sticking to one) in your life who are doomed.Recommend

  • manish

    @Doomed:

    Acid throwers spare the soul, burn the body, just like how cheating burns the man’s soul, leaving his apparently “brave” manly muscular body intact for the world.

    whether soul exists or not i have hundreds of doubts, but there exists a body about which i’m sure so hurting it is really bad.

    I hope ET WILL not MODERATE THIS , but one very important aspect we men always skip in such discussions is

    WHY WOMEN CHEAT?

    THE ANSWER to this lie less in soul considerations and more in the bodily needs.

    i hope you are getting me?

    how would you treat your spouse for your incapacities(please don’t take offence, i mean all men in general )?

    why would you throw acid on her for a crime for which actually you(or we men) are responsible?

    why not go for a doctor than a acid-seller.Recommend

  • Muskan

    @Doomed:
    what about when men take a second, third and fourth wife without the first one’s permission? is that not a form of “cheating”? how do you men expect your wife to be okay with you sleeping with 3 other women in the name of “religion”?Recommend

  • Muskan

    @FireStarter:
    You said the word feminist is sexist.

    fem·i·nist
      [fem-uh-nist] Show IPA
    adjective Sometimes, fem·i·nis·tic .
    1.
    advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.
    http://www.dictionary.com

    Next time do your research first :)Recommend

  • Syeda Zunaira Zubair

    @Doomed:
    A simple question. Why are you only taking those women under consideration who cheated on their husbands or boyfriends? Ever heard of women being the victims of acid attacks just because they refused to marry a guy, or because she didn’t want any relationship with him? What sort of punishment would you suggest for such a woman? Recommend

  • Abdul Basit

    The only justifiable reason to ever throw acid on anyone is Self-defenceRecommend

  • Zee

    Mehreen did u read the follow up article Mr. Chaudhry posted a few days after this column? In which he was extremely unapologetic and said that liberals are after him cuz he spoke the truth or something? I wish I had the link to that!Recommend

  • FireStarter

    @Muskan: According to http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/SEXISM, the definition is Discrimination or devaluation based on a person’s sex, as in restricted job opportunities; especially, such discrimination directed against women.

    So you do YOUR research first. And while you’re at it, try explaining the statements given by those feminists which I quoted in my earlier reply and tell me those weren’t extremely sexist not to mention radical and completely wrong.Recommend

  • Muskan

    @FireStarter:
    What? I gave you a definition of feminist and you replied with a definition of a different word? Recommend

  • Fahim Khan

    Our society collectively is way beyond redemption. when “columnist” like Javed Choudry can spend hours of his time showing us the “other side” of the picture. Excuse me.! Did any woman throw acid on any man? i never heard of that. I hated every word of his article, and somehow, but somehow i was expecting where’s he is gonna conclude it.
    Also if men claim to be brave and all, then they should show some magnanimity, if a women loves someone else, just let her go and let her live, cause obviously you didn’t treat her the way she needed to be treated and hence the troubles..
    @ Mehreen Kasana: Thumbs up.! Recommend

  • Anaa

    @Doomed. From your comments, Its VERY clear that your wife/fiancee/seriousgf cheated on you, and left you fuming… I also reckon that if you had a chance you would throw acid on her face. You are a scary individual and I hope I never come across you.Recommend

  • http://- Abid P. Khan

    @Doomed:

    “@Meriem: Acid throwers spare the soul, burn the body, just like how cheating burns the man’s soul, leaving his apparently “brave” manly muscular body intact for the world.”

    I just love it. @Doomed: You are a po’ lil’ victim, barely surviving in this unjust world. Apparently the heinous crime of obliterating some ones face, does not pinch your conscience at all, as you are vociferously advocating for it! Would you mind if the woman who now has an acid-burnt face, because of your principle of an eye for an eye type of justice, chops your willy off like Lorena treated her man John Bobbit?

    Another possibility would be to take you to the stadium, and give you an Islamic treatment a la Zia, and let your ex, pour acid between your legs.

    The two legged species called a Neanderthal will never become extinct, even though he has learnt to bang on a keyboard.

    (Redactors: Please replace the word “willy” if you think it may annoy some people from the ghairat brigade)Recommend

  • FireStarter

    @Muskan: There are two words that were being discussed. Feminism. And sexism. The reference I gave is extremely relevant. Read the definition that I gave carefully.

    Also, I noticed you didn’t give any reply to any other point I raised in any of my previous posts.

    For your reference, I am also quoting an article by Anne Wollenberg in The Guardian.

    “If a man – any man, apparently they’re all the same – says he hates women, he’s being sexist. But some women have no qualms about pigeonholing all men into one category of violent, abhorrent brutes and calling it feminism. And that’s when feminism becomes nothing more than another form of sexism.”Recommend

  • Sabeen

    @Humayun Asad:
    Bravo :)Recommend

  • leila rage

    @doomed:

    If someone cheats on a partner, then the punishment or retribution for that is between him/her and God. Violence is NEVER the answer, and it is NEVER justified.Recommend