Noman Ansari

Noman Ansari

The author is the editor-in-chief of IGN Pakistan, and has been reviewing films and writing opinion pieces for The Express Tribune as well as Dawn for five years. He tweets as @Pugnate (twitter.com/Pugnate)

25 terms desis love to use

People of every country have their own slang, consisting of words they have either created or adopted. Here are some of ours:  1. ‘Denim ki jeans’: Well, what else would jeans be made of? Plastic? This would be as redundant as saying ‘gosht ka insaan’ or ‘lohay ki gari’. Yes, denim is the fabric used to make jeans. Thanks. 2. ‘Over smart’: Usually said on Facebook to someone perceived to be clever. Only in Pakistan is intelligence used as a slur. Imagine parents using this on their children, “Don’t try to be over smart. Stay within your limitations. You aren’t very intelligent after all.” 3. Dis/Dat/Dere: Even today, there are people who type ‘dis’ instead of ...

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#ParisAttacks: Blaming the refugees for the attacks on France is like blaming the victim for escaping the abuser

As I write this, there are over 150 dead across Paris in one of the most revolting terrorist attacks in the history of France. Scenes are described as pure carnage. Reportedly, the attackers indiscriminately chopped (gunned) down innocent civilians with gunfire and explosives to horrific effect. One witness inside the Bataclan simply said, “It was a bloodbath.” Another stated, “They were shooting at us like we were birds.” The Telegraph shared some stories of the lucky Parisians who escaped the theatre. “Everyone got onto the ground. From that moment, instinct kicked in. With each volley you try to get as far away as possible from ...

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This restaurant in Islamabad thinks misogyny is an acceptable marketing tactic

This Islamabad-based eatery is named ‘Table No. 5’, but perhaps they should call themselves ‘Mentally Unstable No. 5’. If you thought that joke was bad, then get a load of these.   If their sexist ‘humour’ wasn’t nauseating enough, their food is named after celebrities such as Sean Penn and Bill Cosby. You know, men who have a record of physically and emotionally abusing women. Take Sean Penn for example: Cracked: “After he got good and drunk (again), Penn climbed into Madonna’s house, where she was alone. He then grabbed her, tied her to a chair, and assaulted her for hours, both physically and emotionally. He then went out ...

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Dear Imran Khan, your inconsistent stance on your personal life is confusing

Dear Imran Khan, Let me start by offering my sincerest sympathies on the tragic end of your relationship with Reham Khan. I have, since I was a boy, held admiration for your achievements, and have read all books written by you, and therefore know how dearly you hold the institution of marriage, and how earnestly you wish for such a partnership to succeed. I also realise that you were hurt by the sad end of your first marriage, and must have entered your second one with every intention for it to succeed. These things considered; the differences between you and Reham ...

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Rokhsahana, a woman, was barbarically put down like a dog that had defied its master, a man

She just wanted to live her life. Rokhsahana, estimated to be only 19 years of age, was brutally stoned to death just over a week ago, in late October. An Afghan girl belonging to the village of Ghalmeen, she had spent her entire life suffering decisions made by other men. According to The Guardian: “According to Joyenda, who has staff members from the village, Rokhsahana first ran away several years ago to Iran after her family tried to marry her off to an old man. After they brought her back, they forcibly married her off to another old man. When she ran away this ...

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What if gun control isn’t solely to blame for mass shootings in America?

With alarming regularity, shootings in America make the news across the planet, sometimes every other week. Horrific visuals of mayhem, tragedy, and pain fill our TV screens as we try to understand how the most powerful nation in the world helplessly suffers like this month after month, year after year. We look at the statistics where only the United States amongst its peers sees mass murders take place with any regularity, and wonder what the hell is going on. On the left, American politicians would have their citizens believe the problem simply stems from a lack of gun control, and the ...

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#ProfileForPeace defeats the mind games Shiv Sena tried to play by using Malala

Sometimes it is easy to forget the bond between Pakistan and India. Growing up in the Middle East, I had a number of Indian friends, and there was never an ounce of animosity between us, except of course, during a Pakistan-India cricket match. During one of these events, the passive aggressive jokes were as bare knuckled as they could get. We took great pleasure in beating the Indian cricket team during matches at Sharjah, while they enjoyed returning the favour at World Cup events. But even during these hot moments, empathy somehow found its way. After Pakistan was decisively beaten by India ...

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George Lucas took Star Wars to the dark side. Can JJ Abrams bring it back?

At the end of Return of the Jedi, Luke Skywalker faces off against his father, Darth Vader, under the watchful eye of the Sith Lord, Darth Sidious. Initially, Luke tries his best not to engage with Vader in combat, not only in the hopes of pulling his father from the clutches of evil, but to shield himself from the intoxicating draw of the dark side. Darth Sidious, “Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you!” Eventually,  Vader breaks through Luke’s mental defences, “So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from ...

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Will legalising homosexuality encourage incest?

(Authors note: Before forming judgment, I urge readers to read this article to the end.) After the United States Supreme Court legalised homosexual marriage across America, those in favour of equal LGBT rights showed their support across the world. Here in Pakistan, Facebook users had their profile pictures covered with a rainbow filter to show solidarity with the ruling. This upset many Pakistanis who are against homosexuality, including actor/intellectual Hamza Ali Abbasi, who feared mankind was now rolling down a slippery slope and that the backdoor to sexual deviations had been opened. For this article, I accepted questions from Pakistani Facebook users ...

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No, Fareed Zakaria, you cannot blame Pakistan for the mistakes made by the US in Afghanistan

Dear Fareed Zakaria, You are certainly a titan of journalism. Your CNN show, Fareed Zakaria GPS, is watched by countless worldwide, while your footprint can be found in publications such as Foreign Affairs, Newsweek, Slate, The New York Times, and the Wall Street Journal, to name a few. The career trajectory you’ve taken is nothing short of incredible. After leaving your home in Bombay where you were born to Rafiq Zakaria, an Islamic scholar and a politician associated with the Indian National Congress, and journalist Fatima Zakaria, a former editor at Mumbai Times and the Times of India, you eventually made your way to the US, where you graduated from ...

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