Jahanzaib Haque

Jahanzaib Haque

News buff and Web Editor, The Express Tribune. Jahanzaib tweets @Jhaque_ twitter.com/jhaque_

10 things I hate about being attacked at work

1. The fear. The fear that whoever is chucking grenades and has been firing bullets for the last 10 minutes is about to enter the building. Should I be hiding under my desk? Or should I be leading my team somewhere? Or should I follow my gut and run screaming up and down the hallway? 2. Watching your colleagues run terrified out of an emergency back exit, only to hear another hail of bullets echo in the dark street outside the office. The anxiety as the door they ran out of is slammed shut by those panicking inside. 3. Crouching low and kicking yourself multiple ...

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How to write an article on Pakistan (for the foreign press)

Dear journalist, blogger, columnist or on-again, off-again writer, congratulations! You have chosen to cover Pakistan in an article aimed at a global audience and (fingers crossed) paid for by a foreign news service/agency. Your guide awaits you below – check off your game plan and repeat ad nauseum. STEP 1: Choose your topic A: I want to write on terrorism, the impact of the US exit from Afghanistan, drone attacks, the tribal badlands, ‘Nuclear-armed’ dangers and Pakistan’s foreign policy in general. Pros: I can be an expert on all the above thanks to Google and many hours of spare time. Cons: There is ...

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Malala returns to Pakistan

DISCLAIMER: Malala has not landed in Pakistan. Ignore the mind-blowing realism and true-to-life drawings – this is ...

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Just your average Pakistani response to 15 news stories

NOTE: Most of these responses are inspired by real ...

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18 memorable moments that define Bakra Eid in Pakistan

1. Wear new Eid clothes! Take photos of family looking like a cheesy ad Photo: xcitefun.net   2. Wake up early to go pray at the local mosque. Photo: Shahbaz Malik/Express   3. Pray there is no terrorist attack. Keep one eye on the security… Photo: Express/File   4. Buy a giant balloon for the house after Eid prayers (just because) Photo: AFP   5. Exchange the first of 220 hugs with family members and friends Photo: PPI   6. Check out celebrity hugs on TV (just because) Photo: Tariq Hassan/Express   7. ...

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The state of Pakistani media: 10 toons that tell it like it is

Note: All information cited in the toons below has been taken from the 2013 report Mapping Digital Media: Pakistan, released by Open Society Foundations. ______________________________________________ Read more by Jahanzaib here or follow him on ...

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‘How much did they pay you to defame Imran Khan and PTI?’

It seems The Express Tribune has done it again (see image above). Working on our Goebbels’ vendetta against all things Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf, we have now attacked PTI Chairman Imran Khan while he’s down (literally). The PTI Chairman injured his back just days before the elections. Can it get any more evil than asking our cartoonist Sabir Nazar to target an injured man, when all he wants to do is go see his children in the UK during the few weeks they get off from school? Who cares if there is wall-chalking up in NA-56 demanding to know where the man ...

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Google should ban Pakistan

For a journalist, perhaps nothing is a greater violation of human rights than the denial of access to information. In the case of Pakistan versus YouTube, I think the government’s nine month ban on Google’s video-sharing website is really the limit of regressive and, in the eyes of any global citizen who accepts the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights, unethical and illegal behaviour. I hold out no hope of sanity or assistance from the new government in this case. It is clear that in a country as fragmented along the lines of ‘haves’ versus the ‘have-nots’, ‘extremists’ versus ‘the rest’, the ban ...

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Are nasty comments distorting reality?

The online landscape in Pakistan is not unlike the Federally Administered Tribal Areas (FATA) at its current scale. There are almost no laws that govern this space. For better or worse, individuals and groups online act with near impunity, with only the slightest fear of heavy-handed retribution from a largely disinterested, clueless government and its associated agencies. In this space exists the potential – both good and bad – for the shaping of public perception, particularly on many thorny issues that traditional media dare not touch. It is also here that the greatest potential exists for measurably changing a person’s opinion ...

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Where was the tear gas when Joseph Colony burned?

I am sitting at the news desk silently taking in all the news reports of protests across Pakistan over the mob burning of more than 150 houses of Christians in Joseph Colony over alleged blasphemy. “Protesters on Ferozepur road Lahore have smashed a Metrobus office…a large contingent of police charge protesters using tear gas. Suspects being picked up.” “Protesters in Saddar Karachi have clashed with police…security officials resorting to aerial firing and tear gas shelling. Laathi charge underway. Over 20 arrested so far.” To see such police efficiency when faced by an enraged crowd is…ironic isn’t it? Where was this efficiency when the ...

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