Fashion will save Pakistan from terrorism n’ stuff
Fashion is not just what you wear. Sometimes, it’s a statement; sometimes, it’s a call to action. But in Pakistan, fashion is resilience - an ‘in your face’ to the forces that aim to destroy the country. Pakistani fashion is fast evolving into the counter-narrative that will put this nation on the fast-track to progress. Don’t believe me? Below is a selection of just a few of the ground breaking, era-defining, nation-building and instantly wearable designs that are fast eroding the cultural malaise we are experiencing. Behold! Design sense: Po-mo (post modern vs postmodernism) trash bag chique Inspiration: Neon signs, California beaches, trash bags. The ideal dress for the upcoming ...
Read Full PostWhat kind of Pakistani life do you lead?
Hello everyone, long time no see! I’ve been mulling over all that has been happening in Pakistan over the last year and it got me to thinking, its about time I tried my hand at writing a quiz a little more all-encompassing than the Desi elite political identity quiz (though do take that if you haven’t already). The big question: what kind of Pakistani life do you lead, should hopefully provide you with some perspective on whether things are looking up (or down) for you, not to mention give you bragging rights with your peers. Keep score, keep calm and leave your results ...
Read Full PostI’m not ready to live in Imran’s Pakistan
Its 2013 and by some unlikely miracle of sheer inqilabi (revolutionary) voting, Imran Khan has been elected prime minister and his party is in power. Wait a minute – what party? That’s right, a hefty gang full of loafers and bitter ex-politicians out for rival blood. Looking at those lining up to be given party tickets so far, the PTI may as well take Sheikh Rasheed, Pir Pagara and Musharraf on board (something I’ve suggested before). Let’s face it – for Imran to win the elections, he will (and is) turn to the same old faces, using the same old tools to come ...
Read Full PostShould Justin Bieber replace Osama bin Laden?
Okay, so now that big bad Osama bin bad hair day is dead the question that all of us are asking is “who will be taking over as the head of al Qaeda?” The position definitely requires charismatic leadership and the ability to strategize but if the group is to stay relevant they may want to think about a new kind of leader. Here are my suggestions: Justin Bieber: Who better to lead a bunch of frustrated, young kids with way too much spare time on their hands in an ultimate battle of good against evil? Bieber is (insanely) passionate, has a (zombie-cult) ...
Read Full PostMuammar Qaddafi: The coolest dictator ever!
Libya has turned into a warzone, the global media, led by Al Jazeera has gone rabid against Muammar Qaddafi. Twitter and Facebook have erupted with Qaddafi hatred – but hold on, there are a whole bunch of reasons why Qaddafi is really a great guy. 1. His dress sense. Who can hate someone who defines his own style, and sticks with it year-after-year? I personally think any man who can carry off swathes of cloth wrapped around him with a messy unkempt I’m-a-70s-rocker hairdo deserves some credit, no? 2. Call me Pakistani, but I find dictators who usurp power and hold onto it ...
Read Full PostWhat’s the big deal about Benazir Bhutto?
I’m watching the thousands of doting followers streaming into Naudero. I’m listening to soundbytes of Benazir devotees describing how she changed their lives forever. I’m reading all the comments flowing into this site, but I just don’t get it: what’s the big deal about Benazir Bhutto? I’d sworn off writing for The Express Tribune blogs after the negative criticism, but really, has everyone taken off their critical thinking hats today? Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Ms Bhutto and the PPP fail to run Pakistan. Twice? Where is the glory in that? Okay fine – so people tell me it’s not Benazir Bhutto the ...
Read Full PostPlease don’t kill my goat
My neighbours just bought these three cute little goats home, one each for their three little kids. They probably did that so the kids wouldn’t fight with each other while taking their new pets for evening walks, daily feeding, petting and other such childhood goodness which occurs at this time of the year. I have always loved this Eid for the chance to make new goat friends. What I don’t like about this Eid is when we proceed to manhandle those gentle creatures, force them to the ground, watch our elders slit the throats of our new companions, string them ...
Read Full PostThe desi-elite political identity quiz
Osama bin Laden has expressed concern over climate change in his latest audiotape. Yes, the man who is being hunted down by pretty much the whole world has finally noticed that his nut job agenda and that of the ultra-left wing nut jobs in the west are nearly identical. I predict we will soon here Ayman al Zawahiri declare al Qaeda’s outright support of PETA, as (in my humble opinion) the two groups could form a strong alliance – last I checked, PETA hates just about everyone, and they really do love animals. Sarcasm aside, there is a lot to ...
Read Full PostImran and Musharraf should join forces
I saw an article in The Express Tribune where Sheikh Rashid of the floundering AML (or was it ALM? Who remembers anyway?) says that PML Nawaz-log, APML Mush-log and PML-Q should all join hands, make love not war and unite under the banner of Pir Pagara (with Bilawal Bhutto as their secretary – and before I get lynched for saying that – I didn’t!). I think that’s a really cute idea – almost as cute as the time I saw President Zardari, Nawaz Sharif and the rest of the ‘democracy clan’ join hands and solemnly swear to work together just ...
Read Full PostMusharraf has my vote!
In case you guys missed it, ex-dictator (now plain-suited) Pervez Musharraf put up a video on his Facebook page last night with a rather abstract question for his horde of loving fans. The question was: Are Pakistani people capable of differentiating good from bad? It is perhaps the first time this self serving, love-fest of a page has actually caught my attention – perhaps because this is also the first time I have seen Musharraf actually pose a question which had the potential to alienate and confuse his doting minions, and I just LOVE to see a hero shoot himself in the ...
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